Why do some girlfriends act like mothers to their boyfriends?

[Anonymous]

So maybe it's the age group I'm in, and there is still a decent maturity gap between the sexes, but I've been noticing this trend among my friends. The girl in the relationship seems to either have almost complete control over the guy, or the girl both provides a lot of things for the guy and tolerates a lot of childish behavior, while enforcing limits.

Why does this happen, and further, why are these girls content in relationships like these? I don't believe there's anything wrong with a woman having power. That's a given. I was simply under the impression that a girl would want someone who is more of a companion, an equal, a partner, a man, rather than someone they have to drag around or baby all the time. What's up with this?

My hypothesis is that it has to do with the girl being sick of rougher guys who are not controllable and selfish. When one of these girls finds a nice guy, she will tolerate some of his shortcomings and make sure he turns out right so that once he matures, she'll have a good man. I've never been in a relationship like that though, so I really can't know. What do you think?

[ladylex930]

Well for one most girls mature faster than boys most girls are more independent that boys and most boys are mamas boys and want a woman like their mother. true some girls like power but some girls don't even know they have it they just see it as taking care of their man. if you haven't noticed a lot of people still don't know what and equal relationship really is. think about it. in a relationship who is more expected to bring home a pay check? the man. who is expected to cook, clean, raise children, organize all events, wash clothes, grocery shop and still work? the woman. its a given. yes some people do share the responsibilities in the household but the woman is still expected to do more than the man. so for some people this is just the norm but if its the other way around people say the man is controlling. relationships are never truly equal in every part. men give more and some areas and women give more in others.

and guys can't act mature all the time. I'm sure women have their little fits and stuff too

[phil2]

I am not sure how to answer your question.

If you read some of my questions, yes some times I feel like I mother my guy but it's just that. Mothering him.

It's really not that bad. I mean, I just ask him to take off his socks before going to bed, to brush his teeth or take a shower. I cook, I clean, I do his laundry, take care of his car, make sure the finances are taken cared of, check and read his mail. I think it's okay with me. It's not like he is trying to hurt me and I am trying to love him. It is a way that I show him that I love him. Who wants their guy to starve and not eat? I mean he needs to eat. And he doesn't really know how to cook so someone has to cook him something or else he will waste all his money on food.

[tex151]

Wow your crazy, do you also carry his balls around in your purse? Does he have to ask you permission to go outside and does have to eat all of his vegetables before you let him have dessert. I would hate having a girlfriend that acted like you.

[phil2]

ew gross... your'e trying to make me feel bad but I don't. Anyways, I'm not controlling. I just make sure he is clean, he has clean clothes and food to eat. That's what a mother does. She doesn't really control them like you think I do. It's more of making sure he has what he wants. He's happy so that's all that matters.

[kymidahl]

I tolerate my boyfriend acting like a 15yr old computer nerd and his whining tantrums because I love him when he's NOT acting childish. My hope is that as he gets older he'll eventually catch up to me maturity wise, it's been almost 4years and he's made little progress.

If he hurts himself and I laugh and tell him he'll be alright, he whinges!

He actually *wants* to cuddle and mollycoddle him and kiss his ouchies when he's sick or cranky or hurt, he's so ridiculously clingy it's like having a baby koala on my arm.

If I tell him to act his age, he whinges that he "iiiiiiisss". If he *were* acting his age, he'd tell me to shove it and say I'm not his mum.

Some guys just seem to need that sort of motherly treatment more than others until they finally grow out of it.

I still prefer him to some meatheaded moran that calls me 'baby' and tries to slap me round though!

[candlewax]

Seeing those relationships irritate me. The fact that the woman is being such a controlling hobag, bugs. The fact that the guy just rolls on over and is so passive about it, bugs.

Nobody should be controlling anyone, really.

The woman controlling = insecurity, imo. The guy rolling on over = passivity/no courage to stand up for himself. I blame that on mommy issues.

[TheCheshireCat]

Because their boyfriend acts inmature & the woman tries to play mommy by taking caring of him.

[allxiang]

yeah,this is very common ,because your girlfriend want to take care of you and contorl you

[tex151]

Not true, if the guy had a pair balls he wouldn't let a chick control him.