Why do mothers always have issues with their sons girlfriend/wives?

[Anonymous]

I'm in a situation where my ex's mom used to be kind to me and invite me to all sorts of places, but ever since we broke up she used that as an opportunity and begged me to stay away from her son. She has continued to express that hatred and I can't understand why when I have never done anything to offend her.

[Impactaura]

It's the same as a father having an issue with their daughters boyfriend. They do this because they know how younger age of their own gender acts. Like a father, once at that age, knows what kinds of things are going through thise boys heads and to think they plan those things on his little girl? Of course they won't be comfortable with that. I woukd assume it's same for a mother, may think they this younger girl is some tramp who will play with her son's feelings and leave him broken later down the road by being unfaithful or misleading. It's only natural for oarents to be protective of their child. The child they spent countless sleepless nights taking care of you and watching you grow into your own person.

[Xx_DeeDee_xX]

True. Good answer.

[vvn604]

Depends whether they were brought up by good parents.

[Impactaura]

That the parents were brought up by good parents? The bf/gf being brought up? or the child this questions circles being brought up? If the gf/bf being btought up by good parents, that doesn't really apply tovthe situation. As far as one being a disrespectful little shit or another who is polite, sure one is better than the other but to a fathers eyes, it's still some horny teenage/young adult who wants to screw his daughter and no good father is going to be ok with someone deflowering his daughter. That's his little girl, raised from a wee little thing in his arms to the sweet young woman she is that day. It's hard for a parent to accept their once little child is now old enough to make their own choices without needing permission. The child of protective parents may think it's such a hassle and a problem, but they won't fully understand why until they have children of their own.

[vvn604]

Reality is not always so black and white. There are many layers to people's decision making. Parents are people too. Anyway, don't think too much. Have integrity, be a good person.

[OlderAndWiser]

Her son is an extension of her. Many mothers have an unholy dependency on their son, and especially on their youngest son. You rejected her son and she is simply trying to protect her son from further harm.

[Asker]

But he broke up with me, I don't understand

[OlderAndWiser]

It doesn't matter who initiated the break up; it did not work so it must have been your fault and you are the villain. . . in her mind.

[seryleme]

I honestly think it's a complex, love. One severely rooted in all of human nature and biology. Boys have sister complexes. Girls have daddy complexes. Why do you think incest happens for the most part? It's with kids who feel their parents were absent in their lives for the most part. Mothers all have a complex about their sons. It's natural and you have to win them over. Just like fathers with their daughters.

[HonestGirlAlways]

Moms tend to feel like their sons' girlfriends are stealing them. It's really dumb but it's just mother instinct honestly hahahah. It's possible to win them over though, my mom and my dad's mom get along as if they were daughter and mother. But my mom still thanks God for only having straight daughters and not having to deal with daughters in law.

[zombiebabe]

its very common because most mom's won't ever see any woman good enough for their son.
they want their son to bring to them a nice woman who will be a good wife and a good mom so that one day when they won't be here any more there will be someone caring for their son

[Phoenix98]

Mothers want what's best for their sons, so obviously their standards and expectations are probably going to be higher then the mans own standards.

Mothers are also extremely protective of their children due to that maternal instinct and the bond that's grown between them since birth.

It's exactly the same with fathers and their own daughters boyfriends no one will ever be good enough for their little girl and they want to protect their daughters from bad boyfriends because well no one knows what goes through a mans mind more in regards to women then another man.

[Mr_Knowitall]

when you broke up with her son, your realtionship ended. It could be that he said soemthing about you and she obviously takes it as proof. Mothers wants only the best for their kids, so they can be over protecting at times. nothing to do with you - move on, she isn't worth your attention.

[Asker]

She knew me and him were getting into fights at times, and my ex was loud so maybe she felt like I was a distraction to him eventually. But its a thing where, we gave it time before we started talking to each other again, and even that she doesn't want. She told me to back off.

[Mr_Knowitall]

If you get back with him, she will change again... woman - go figure ;)

[Asker]

Actually, she didn't want me to get back with him. She actually begged me to back off lol but that does happen sometimes I guess

[meowyumyum]

They don't always have issues but mothers are protective and if they feel like you aren't good for him or you would do any form of harm to him then they can certainly be ugly. A persons child is usually the most precious thing to them and if if they feel they need to protect him from you for whatever reason the mama bear claws come out! Lol

[BrittBratt2416]

You must have broken her son's heart or he's said something terrible about you without giving the whole story as to why you broke up.

[Asker]

He broke up with me. But it's a thing where I've never tried to explain my side to any situation with them because end of the day, theyre going to protect each other and not listen to me

[BrittBratt2416]

You are right. Honestly forget him and don't even listen to the mom. she's the type of mother who sees her son as some angel who can never do no wrong.. just leave it as is and walk away.

[BrittBratt2416]

Also its hard for some mothers see their son love another woman cause she was the first woman in his life. Moms don't want to feel replaced.

[Asker]

You're right

[madhatters4]

mothers don't always have issues. in fact most of the women i've dated have had mothers that were warm and gracious with me

but generally speaking i guess they just feel defensive of their child

[depeche2015]

they are just protective and want the best for their son. unless they are a complete bitch towards you they could be a narc or just plain ol' jealous/afraid of their son growing up and leaving them

[JustRollTheDice]

But you can't expect her to continue when you're no longer with her son same way your friends will ignore you ex it's just a kind loyalty

[TheChocolateWriter]

same reason a father has an issue with their daughter's boyfriends or husband.
She doesn't like the idea of another woman taking care of her baby. Essentially being replaced.

[Hidden_P]

Why are you continuing a relationship with her son if you aren't together?

She doesn't want you to hurt him. Your question is misleading.

[Asker]

Her son continued with me, we were just friends. He broke up with me.

[Hidden_P]

This has nothing to do with you, and if you want to make sure ask her.

Her son misses you and still loves you. He keeps you as a friend but it's likely he confides with her his real feelings. She is trying to get you to cut ties to stop her son clinging on.

But if you don't believe me, ask her yourself. If you got on so well she won't lie.

[Asker]

I don't want to ask her but what you're saying does make sense. But why would she want him to stop clinging on? He hurt me first

[Hidden_P]

Without knowing why you broke up and you not wanting to ask her, please accept my list of guesses. Pick the one you fancy.

- He made a mistake, he misses you
- It wasn't the right time and he felt to end it (whether jobs, personal or something else)
- You didn't share the same views
- You can't have kids
- He cheated and regrets it
- You insulted his family
- He insulted your family
- You aren't the same race/religion.

It's not a war of who pissed on who first and most. Grow up and stop thinking someone else's parents should treat you gold. Your relationship didn't work out but you are still around. She will be protective.

Without asking herself nobody here will know the true answer.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, mothers have issues about everything. Even their own daughters. Who can really keep up with their fantasies?

[Sara413]

Always?

Um..

I have literally never encountered this issue...

[Anonymous]

They don't always. I usually get on with my boyfriend's parents...

[dic3crew]

she's just supporting her son

[vvn604]

Or possessive. Cases vary.

[dic3crew]

ok. but thats my opinion. say that In your own

[vvn604]

I'm simply suggesting an alternative point of view. People normally think too one-sided without considering different scenarios. Of course when it comes to parent-child relationships people appear to be quite steadfast in their judgments of parents' intentions probably out of the guilt trips that have embedded in them by society that children owe their parents by having given birth to them. Logically speaking it makes more sense for it to be the other way around.

[dic3crew]

then say in a different comment the alternative pov

[slatyb]

Sometimes mothers (or fathers) side with the ex.

[Asker]

Not in this case

[720XP]

Do you think it's a protective instinct?

[Jok3r21]

Lmao welcome to the real world :)

[Anonymous]

Because mums are nosey fuckers

[Bleepasaurus_RexEwww]

Most of the moms I met actually really like me

[lareina05]

Mama's boy

[Asker]

But my brother is my moms only son and she loves his girlfriend. My ex is the second boy in the family and I don't get why I'm such a threat

[lareina05]

Probably just can't let him go.

[IAmBlueThunder]

They're stupid

[Midget_Hug]

They don't.