Why won’t my boyfriend tell me his favorite type of adult content?

[Anonymous]

He just says “not one in particular” and doesn’t say much else even if I ask. Is this normal in a relationship? I thought we were supposed to be able to talk about things. Maybe it’s something bad..

[jolyjumper]

That's an easy one to clarify.
When you first get into the internet sexual content, you look for the more normal stuff... plain vaginal sex, oral, anal, tits, etc. Soon enough, you start coming across some not so standard, common action.
One day, a video has some action that you never thought or heard about, or even imagined... and it gives you this raging, furious erection... it can be anything, and you never saw it coming!

There is a change it is something you don't really want to let loose out of your control in terms of what people know about you.
Might be embarrassing to reveal before your partner. Something you consider immoral or unethical, disrespectful, humiliating, shameful, etc.
In your mind, if known, it will change, possibly in a way impossible to revert, who you are in the eyes of others.

If someone doesn't want to answer that question, or avoids it, or diverts the subject, and you really want to know, then you give the first step, and be ready to reveal something you keep only for yourself. Not a secret, that's nothing compared to it. This is something you have buried in your mind, and only comes to the light in your thoughts, and even then, only under the shadowy sparse light, so it can return to the shadows on the first sign of discomfort of it's existence.

The speech might be a bit drama theater, but think about it, you'll reach the conclusion it makes sense. Not easy to talk about something like that.

[es20490446e]

Hear me woman: I always reply honestly to those kinds of questions, and probably that's the reason why I don't have a girlfriend :D

I will give you an example with your exact question. I was dating this girl, and she asked what thing I like most about a woman.

To which I replied body hair, specially on the pubes. By the way she was bald there and she never dated me again. My favorite porn gender? Hairy female solo too.

Or this woman. She asked me how many pussies I have seen. I told her that, last month, I tried to meet 5 different women, because they asked me out themselves.

Honest answer, but may give the wrong impression and make your partner overthink. Like me not being serious when I'm very serious, or just dating anyone when in reality they looked like high quality people and I didn't know if I wanted anything romantic with them.

[Anonymous]

Of course you could be right and he has some sort of sick, twisted content he’s interested in. But I’m thinking that maybe he’s just not comfortable with the topic. Even if you guys talk sexually in general, everyone has a limit or things they don’t really wanna discuss.

[Nikki1989]

He probably has some sick, deranged fetish he is into. Red flag!

[es20490446e]

Imagine that I answered that I like just pubes.

Then my girlfriend started to think how many pubes I often see that aren't hers.

Even if there was none since I had been with her.

Some info just make people overthink.

[AI Opinion]

As your go-to relationship guru on GAG, I'm all about spilling the tea on love and communication! It sounds like your boyfriend's being coy about his fave adult content, which can be as perplexing as trying to understand the ending of Inception. It's not unusual for people to keep certain preferences private; some topics just make folks squirm! The key here is comfort and trust. Keep things light and let him know you're open to discussion whenever he's ready. You never know, he might just need a little time to start talking like an open book! 📚✨

[Hardon-Collider]

It’s a lie. It’s a very common lie. It stems from a deep fear of being seen as a sexual being. He fears that if you know what he truly desires, you’ll only see that side of him, and that he’ll be seen as a mere sexual creature, not as a whole man. So he lies to create a separation between the love he thinks you have for him and the sexual desire. It’s a clumsy attempt to be intimate, but it’s actually a lie that comes from a place of fear. Yes, it’s normal, but it’s a lie nonetheless.

[genericname85]

why do you assume he's lying to you when he says “not one in particular”? i mean you asked him. he told you. what else do you want?

[Asker]

I said “okay, tell me a few then” and he never replied.

[genericname85]

well he said to you it's no particular thing. you were asking for particular things. so you were disrespecting his answer.

[Asker]

There has to be a few, unless he watched absolutely everything under the sun. Why are you getting defensive?

[genericname85]

what am i defending?

[Asker]

My boyfriend. Maybe cuz you also hide that stuff

[genericname85]

why would i defend your boyfriend? neither do i know the guy, nor do i give a shit about the guy. maybe you wanna think that i'm "defending", cause that way you can invalidate what i said cause you didn't like what i said and that was the easiest and most convenient way to invalidate it?

[genericname85]

why don't you instead take a look at yourself and reflect on what you did. you asked your friend what type of porn he likes. he said "nothing in particular" right? so maybe it really is nothing in particular. maybe it is. maybe he is hiding something. but why assume that over the other option?

[Asker]

Why? Because you’re also secretive about that stuff in relationships maybe, that’s why. I already gave a very valid reason.

[genericname85]

so now you're disrespecting me as well. see the pattern. that pattern is the problem :) and i don't mean that in a mean spirited way. i hope that helps you self reflect.

[genericname85]

like how did your boyfriend deserve that massive distrust from you. how the fuck do i deserve it? like what stake do i have in your private live? i couldn't care less. why would i need to lie to you? xD this is absurd.

[Asker]

You’re the one that disrespected me in your original comment, acting like I’m too much or too nosey.

And he did reply now and gave a few. So, there you go.

[genericname85]

what? where did i say you're too nosey? you litterally just made that up. i said "maybe he just doesn't have a particular one". it was my honest thought. and i think him giving you an answer is not a good sign. cause i think he just didn't have one and instead of setting the boundary to tell you this was not ok, he just named some so you would stop asking. it's the easy way out and the way to lead a toxic relationship without trust xD but hey, i'm not here to judge. you do you.

[genericname85]

like if you prefer a dyshonest answer given out of annoyiance and being disrespected to shut you up over the honest answer, that's your right.

[Asker]

I didn’t say u said it, I said you implied it

[Asker]

Thank you for your comment

[genericname85]

i didn't imply it. you were just thinking it. you thought you were being too nosey :) so yeah. I don't know if you even still wanna hear this but maybe just listen to what people say and don't interpret into it. just take what they say. you'll be best doing that. then you can stop worrying about your interpretations about all the things they actually did not say :D

[Asker]

Um, it wasn’t hard to “interpret” what you said. A 5 year old could’ve figured it out.

[genericname85]

-.- i gett it you just don't wanna self reflect and never take accountability for what you are doing. you just want to controll everything. it doesn't matter what people are litterally saying. they mean what you're thinking either way. that's what it is. and i will stop arguing and trying to help, cause you showed that there's no point to that.

[Anonymous]

He's afraid that if he gets too specific, it might be something that you are not acceptable with. Personally, I would say that in the past, I found Amature/Realistic material far more of a turn-on than over-exaggerated/Acted-out material

[RedInnocent69]

Yeah, sometimes we like to jump around to whatever/whoever catches our eye. You don’t want to know if it’s Asian midget BDSM…

[Wise4myage]

He might be embarrassed to admit it?

[Gaylordslav]

He likes watching white girls get drilled by BBC

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is too shy to tell you.