How to overcome shyness?

[Anonymous]

[nolabels]

I worked very hard to overcome severe shyness many years ago, in my early 20s.
I was also an introvert, different from shyness and not at all a liability, but an introvert all the same.

I pushed myself into ever increasingly uncomfortable-for-me social situations, a little bit at a time, building on successes, and learning from not-so-successful tries.

It took a year or more to actually feel somewhat comfortable around people in general.

I then began to try social contact of a romantic nature.
Again, uncomfortable for me.
Some success, some not so much.
It got easier.

That's life.

Now I'm anything but shy, and along the way I also decided to transform myself into being an ambivert, instead of being strictly an introvert.

Push oneself into feeling a bit uncomfortable with social contact.
When that begins to feel comfortable, push oneself a bit further into feeling that bit of uncomfortableness again.
Eventually, that uncomfortableness will vanish.

No one is going to take away anyone's birthday for attempting to be sociable.

Good luck!

[genericname85]

as far as i understand it (i'm not a psychologist), shyness is a defense mechanism that your ego uses to defend yourself from negative emotions. you likely have that defense mechanism because of some sort of trauma in your past. so most likely you have some negative experience with people. being bullied, rejected or generally misstreated. does that make sense?

[genericname85]

so there's 2 ways here i guess. you can just try to fake it untill you make it. just try to be less shy. that is very effective cause it basically teaches you that you don't need the defense anymore. or you can try to understand where that defense came from, what thoughts you're having that keep you shy and try to criticaly reflect these thoughts. but at the end of that journey, you also gotta slowly expose yourself to doing the things you don't like doing due to your shyness xD so yeah.

[Nikki1989]

You must stop seeing shyness as an inherent part of who you are and start seeing it as a lack of practice in a specific skill set. It is not about becoming an extrovert overnight; it's about making small steps that build your confidence.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Rejection therapy