Do guys like fully submissive women?

[Anonymous]

My husband is asking me to fully submit to him with my “body soul heart and mind” his words is this something guys are into? Like I’m not sure about it but he wants me to give up work to be his housewife and take care of the kids. I’m not sure about it but am willing as long as I have a bank account of my own to keep on the side incase something goes south in our relationship. I’m pretty headstrong so I don't know about this but am thinking about it. He wants to start this dynamic this weekend. We don’t have any kids but hope to in a couple years after he finishes college. He’s been loyal to me this whole time that I’m aware of and I love him but some things I question but I guess every partnership has questions. He doesn’t want to have to lift a finger and I’m not sure I want to take on that roll but I love him and trust him so I guess I’ll try for him. What do y'all think about this?

[OneViewpoint]

If you're not another anonymous incel troll with a fake pink account, you are in a toxic relationship with a toxic guy.

What you are describing is a young guy caught up in toxic Christian "trad wife" cult beliefs and/or incel cult beliefs. Unless you really want to spend your life as a prisoner of a mentally disturbed man, get out. Now.

Good luck having your own bank account as a precaution in case things blow up on you. That is specifically why he wants you confined to his house with no income of your own. Owning you and taking away all your resources is the only thing that will calm his insecurities about his manhood. And by resources, I mean friends too. he's not gonna allow you to have your own friends. You'll be stuck in a circle of his cult buddies and their house slaves with no free choice. Sound great to you?

And where would your emergency bank account come from if you're a young stay at home wife? He'll be watching you and his money like a hawk because that's part of the dogma of his cult.

What do I think? Well you asked so... I think you're an idiot for even considering this. Making this mistake this early in life will haunt you to your grave. Run from this guy. Now. What's next is uncertain. Life as a trad wife is guaranteed misery. it doesn't seem like a difficult choice for me.

Here's a test case. Tell this brain damaged man baby in the nicest way possible that this trad wife thing doesn't work for you and you want to break up. Watch him lose his mind.

[abc3643]

Tell him to fuck off and you move on ASAP.

First...
He's an immature, this-close-to-the-manosphere, "wanting a trad-wife" guy. That's not good for real-world surivival - both marriage survival and in dealing with real world survival.

Second...
You don't love him. If you did, then you wouldn't even be asking this question.

[abc3643]

You will not be happy with him until he gets an attitude adjustment about the nature of relationships and the needs of the modern world. He wants to live in an 18th Century Disneyland of relationships.

[Ninania]

No, that's something a narcissist would say. Unless you've expressed enthusiastic desire for that kind of relationship, he has no business expecting that from you. Submission is given with enthusiastic consent, not forced upon someone unwillingly. On top of that, it takes time to build a safe D/s dynamic, it's not just something you jump into without discussing your boundaries and finding out an agreement that suits both of your needs. A healthy D/s relation is created with mutual respect, and the Dominant is responsible for making sure their submissive partner is happy and thriving within the dynamic - it's core element is care, not selfish needs. If his goal isn't to make you happy, you should definitely reconsider. Listen to your gut. Even if you want to trust him, it sounds like you already know that this doesn't feel right and good for you. Question his motives, and if he gets defensive or shifts blame onto you for not wanting to make him happy, you should seriously reconsider your relationship. A caring partner cares about their spouse's wellbeing, wants, and needs, not just their own.

[Noredcarpet]

You should not do something You are not sure off. I never gave up my studies, work for no man or orher people telling me. I am simply not the home stay wife. He should be interested in what makes you happy, you both deserve to, not only one of you get to make the rules. I would not say staying at home is you being submissive to him. I actually have a problem with the way he expresses himself. What I have learned is that when a partner act this way or similar they in reality do feel insecure, small. Maybe good to talk to him about his attitude? Why he is like that? But that would just be me.

[AI Opinion]

Hey there, love expert on deck! 😘 Submitting body, soul, heart, and mind sounds a bit like signing up for a lifetime movie plot. 😂 Not everyone's cup of tea, but if it's yours, cool. Balance and communication are key! Make sure it's what *you* want, not just him. Having your own bank account for independence sounds smart. Trust is ace, but you shouldn't have to change your core. Don't ignore those gut feelings – they're like your inner relationship GPS. Whatever you do, make sure it’s a win-win for you both! 💖

[HollyK21]

This was never a discussion before getting married?

[Asker]

Nope! That’s why when he asked it shocked me because he’s never asked me about it before don’t get me wrong we did a Dominate submission thing in the bedroom but nothing like this before he even wants to control how I dress, eat, groom myself from head to toe and everything it was mind boggling for me but we sat down and discussed everything he even wants to control how I speak and when I speak at times. Oh and my body is to be given to him at all times whatever he wants which is the one I’m not sure about. I have a low libido.

[HollyK21]

I don’t like that, like at all lol. In my opinion there’s a difference between some playful dominance in the bed vs a man wanting to control every aspect of your life. It’s highly concerning that he doesn’t want you to have your own sense of self, because usually with that sort of control he thinks he’d be entitled to treating you however he wants and you just have to deal with it. You may not think he’d go that far now but did you ever think he’d one day ask you to give up everything for him like this? Probably not. You’d be absolutely voiceless and that’s what he’s conditioning you to accept eventually. Not having your own money, you’ve got to ask for allowance and hope he’s not gonna be an asshole about it that day. Ask for this and that and hope it doesn’t get thrown back in your face. That’s no way to live. You’re your own person, not property.

[Hagar88]

My wife submits to me but I lead when in most cases she would rather follow. You should have a bank account but not as an escape route. You've no kids so both of you should be working.

Weve kids and she's currently a stay at home mothers, that will change all going well as the kids get older. She does the majority of the housework and let me tell you the house is clean& tidy, laundry done, dinner made, kids looked after and every morning she makes me breakfast and packs me a lunch. She complains that she's everything done mostly before 12pm. she's very well organised. I dont go home and sit on my ass playing PlayStation or watching sports either. I do all the home maintenance stuff, car maintenance and other stuff. I take care of my kids and play with them. If there's housework that needs done I will do it or help with it. Sometimes I will run her a hot bath and take thd kids out for a walk. Sometimes I cook at the weekends, its nice to have the luxury of doing that.

[CherryLove007]

HE must be under the impression he will instill his control in your life if you agree. How is this sane? You will be sick and it sounds highly stressful.

Not want to lift a finger. ouch hon

Tell him to his sorry face that he can go off and buy an AI robot for a wife. Keep yourself first. So you can be sane.

[CherryLove007]

and the best advice I ever received was... don't do anything for a man that he isn't willing to do for you. This advice has kept me level and sane.

[Keyboardkat]

Men who have this control issue often have very poor self-esteem. They think lowly of themselves, and therefore, they CANNOT BELIEVE that any woman would stay with them voluntarily! They just KNOW she's gonna dump him! So they try to control every aspect of her life, including whom she can have as friends, how much time she can talk on the phone; he has to know where she's going every time she goes out, whom she' going to see, and he wants to control her relationship with her own parents and/or family! He doesn't trust her at all, because, after all, HE wouldn't want himself, so how could SHE want him:? The end result is that he drives her away, and then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy! See? She DID leave! Just like all the other women in his life did!
Guys like this need therapy, badly. And they probably won't do therapy because they think there's nothing wrong with themselves! SHE'S the one who needs to see a shrink!
Guys like this can get violent and they have been known to injure or even KILL their wives and girlfriends. If he ever lays a hand to you, make sure it's the last time he ever gets to do that. Yeah, they always apologize and cry and swear never to do it again. Until next time! Protect yourself and get the heck out of there!
I knew a couple where the husband hit his wive. She said to him, in a cold, ominous voice, "If you ever hit me again, don't go to sleep, because I'll kill you while you're sleeping!" He never hit her again! They're divorced now, (what a surprise)!

[BarryLiverstone]

No, I want to marry an adult and not a child. I want a partner who can take care of herself and be accountable for responsibilities as I am.


You said he’s changing his requirements of you. Are these changes violating your boundaries?

[Nikki1989]

Nobody needs someone with control issues.

[spartan55]

I think if you decide to to that route you will divorce within a year. Your husband, boyfriend, owner, whatever he is does not sound like a good dude.

[Keyboardkat]

I prefer a girl who has some spirit! My wife can be feisty, and I love it!

[Asker]

That’s how I am always lol I’m so feisty and headstrong when he came to me with the idea I was very unsure of it but he’s very insistent and we just got married about a year ago. I’m going to speak to him about it again once he gets home and ask him why things changed because we dated for 3 years before we got married and he said he always loved that about me so I don't know where this new stuff is coming from it’s weird to me.

[Jessica405]

Red flag. Control freak.

[Asker]

Yea I kinda thought so too cus he never once was like this before we got married and we dated for about 3 years he always said he loved my feisty and hardheaded side.

[Anonymous]

If u don’t have a job what will u save in that bank account which u have incase things go south 🤣

[Asker]

I do have a large amount of savings have been working since I was young so I have a good chunk of money saved up. And it is under my mom’s name so if we divorce he can’t take half of it. You can laugh at me but I thought it was pretty smart and I currently have a job and pay half of the bills for our house which I own and is technically again my moms home not mine we just pay the bills to stay here but it is all in her name.

[Opinion Owner]

You sound like a well of young lady. Looks like he wants to control your assets through you. Men always love destroying the careers and lives of successful women. He could have married a homeless women too if he wanted to provide so badly

[jahaims]

Different people have different preferences

[MasterKS]

sometimes not always.