How do I avoid ever catching feelings for somebody?

[Imjustagirl1520]

i dont wanna accidently become one of those lovesick women who get manipulated into a relationship

[RavVid]

:) Homo sapiens have existed for about a million years (debated). Our instincts that enabled us to bond, mate and raise children has been very successful given the number of us there are.

These instincts are effectively old computer software that we still run. To this day. It is not particularly well adapted to today's world. Who you want to get off with, fuck and bond with is determined by the limbic unconscious brain.

Sure to a degree your conscious mind can over-ride the unconscious limbic brain but you have a conflict and probably that will cause you emotional issues eventually.

[Imjustagirl1520]

okay and that answers my question how exactly?

[RavVid]

Simply you are built to bond and whilst our conscious mind can over ride the instinctual programming, that sets up an internal conflict which may cause you problems.

We successfully over-ride the desire to kill people who anger us on a daily basis but those impulses are usually brief and you only need to over-ride for minutes.

Over-riding a desire to bond is different as it is a longer term desire and many of us are unhappy in an unbonded state.

[Imjustagirl1520]

still no answer.

[RavVid]

OK I am not picking the right level to communicate on. You have decided (logically) it is not good for you to 'catch feelings'. Your conscious mind can do that just as my conscious mind can suppress my desire to murder a person I have strong feelings of anger towards.

However it may not be good for you is all I am saying.

There is 'nuturing trance' - from estrogen among other drugs. We are naturally evolved to bond. Our conscious mind can over-ride our sub conscious and unconscious minds but it is setting up a conflict between those minds.

Particularly with women who have been sexually abused, sheer conscious willpower can enable them to function 'normally' in the face of past sexual trauma. At a point though it all becomes too hard to continue to function 'normally' and they sort of fall apart.

It seems to me over-riding our natural programming to bond is kinda like self actuated sexual abuse trauma. It has a chance of biting later is all I am warning of. Maybe it is not a good thing to do.

I have no dogma nor dog in the fight. Just benignly suggesting there two sides of every coin.

[Imjustagirl1520]

it will be worse if i get my heart broken🤷‍♀️ i dont need sex, im not a man yk. how has it a chance of biting later in life? and how is it not a good thing to do?

[RavVid]

Most of the time I just try to give people a different way they could look at things rather than reinforcing which is the usual.

Heart break is indeed quite horrible and can understand the logic I won't let my hormones trick me into getting my heart broken plus 3 kiddies. Eminently sensible - logically. Inherently your conscious mind and unconscious minds are in conflict over bonding/not bonding.

For some people the effort of suppressing just seems to get too much after decades of effort like running out of energy in a marathon. Have seen that with a sexual abuse victim and the trauma they claimed to have 'fixed' (logically) just came back harder and stronger because it was all still there and was just papered over.

In your 20's not bonding might be great for you. As you go through your 30's and later it might be not quite so good. If you have trained yourself to not bond it may be difficult to if later you do want to bond.

[cherrytreeblossom]

having a healthy amount of confidence in yourself and having a life in general supposedly helps. isn't it usually just losers who have this happening to them? if someone giving you the time of day is the best thing that happened to you all year, then you definitely need more and better friends. also, keep in mind that there are 8.3 billion people, half of them of the gender you fancy, maybe even all of them, if you're lucky. there's a whole lot of people out there who are better than whoever wants to manipulate you into anything. but i do hope that you catch feelings for someone great who reciprocates them

[Abbycado]

Just don’t date. You’re such a miserable person that I don’t think it will be too hard to appear unattractive to guys. Who wants to spend time with that? Smh

[Abbycado]

You’re the last person that should be in a relationship. All you do is complain about men constantly.

As soon as you show your true colors, they’ll get it and run for the hills.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

To achieve this goal, I would try looking at the world with disdain and entertain that feeling as much as I can.

[AI Opinion]

Trying to dodge Cupid’s arrows, huh? My aim is to help you dance through relationship dynamics with grace and confidence. 💃🏼 Protecting your heart while sidestepping love's charms can be a balancing act! Focus on nurturing your self-awareness and personal goals. Recognize red flags and stay grounded by getting to know people slowly instead of diving headfirst. No need to rush into lovebombing scenarios or any ‘50 First Dates’ action! Maintain your independence and keep your passions alive while being open to genuine connections. 😊🌟 Remember, the more you know yourself, the less likely you are to get swept away!

[jazzy34]

When feelings do come, don't entertain them. What isn't watered, dies.

[Imjustagirl1520]

and what if i js forget and become to lovesick

[Anonymous]

That's not an issue that you personally will need to worry about.

[Imjustagirl1520]

insulting a minor is such a good trait in a man, lots of women will look for that in men.

[Opinion Owner]

Let's just say I have MUCH better chances with the opposite sex than you will ever have, But I get the impression that's ok with you considering you hate all men.

[Imjustagirl1520]

And is that supposted to be a flex? that u can attract more women than a minor…? its sad i dont even believe u considering the world we live in. why are u so angry?

[Opinion Owner]

Why am I so angry? That's fucking hilarious coming from you.

You're a minor now, but nothing will change for you when you grow up. You will still be as ugly, both inside and out.

[Anonymous]

Two words... "Dont Date" cause if you do you're just wasting their time.

[Imjustagirl1520]

you obviously didn't read the question

[Opinion Owner]

Oh I did, your question is just ridiculous

[Imjustagirl1520]

yeah sure how🤦‍♀️😐

[Opinion Owner]

It suggests all men are manipulative.. Which is not just false, it's stupid.

[Imjustagirl1520]

uhm first off, when did i imply that all men r manipulative? i never said that and if u understand it like that then thats ur own issue.

[Opinion Owner]

It's in the description "i dont wanna accidently become one of those lovesick women who get manipulated into a relationship"

Implies all men are manipulative.

[Imjustagirl1520]

Literally how. Im simply saying what if i do end up with one of those men u retard

[Opinion Owner]

Aw you feel the need to insult me, typical female response when she's lost the argument. How cute. Grow up princess.

[Imjustagirl1520]

And now he’s sexist. What argument? all im simply saying is that im scared that i will meet a man (SINGULAR) who is manipulative, is that seriously so hard to understand in the male brain?

[Anonymous]

Wipe out having ANY emotions

You have to become cold, cynical and bitter

[Imjustagirl1520]

isn't bitter also an emotion?

[Opinion Owner]

Who knows I don't have any and that took me years of training

[Imjustagirl1520]

yes u do.

[Adogdog]

Not really sure on that one lol

[Imjustagirl1520]

then why respond?