How do I avoid catching feelings for a guy?

[Cherrylicious]

I won't go into much detail because its too much explaining. But I barely have much relationship experiences because my very first boyfriend (who also deflowered me) has hurt me VERY bad and I was deeply in love with him and have given my all in that "relationship" to be with him and to love him only for him to break my heart and discard me and admitted that he never loved/wanted me and just treated me like trash and still doesn't care how much he hurt me.

So I've made the decision that NO ONE will ever hurt me again which is why I will never get into another relationship again and never trust another man. I will still enjoy a guy's romantic company but the thought of giving him my heart, love and trust triggers my unresolved feelings for my past heartbreak. But if I ever find myself "catching feelings" for a guy, I will immediately force myself to snap out of it and to remind myself that men are not good people because love is only a feeling because men do not feel love and only lust. They are naturally selfish in nature and only care about themselves so how can I train myself better to never catch feelings for a guy so whenever a breakup occurs or if he does something extremely wrong such as lie, cheat etc. That I will never feel any type of way and never be hurt because I was never emotionally invested?

So how can I enjoy a man's sex and company without catching feelings to avoid getting played and hurt?

[Oliverlogan263]

First off luv I am so sorry that happened to you and you didn’t deserve that because that is devastating, Here are some suggestions for avoiding catching feelings for a guy :

1) Set clear boundaries and intentions from the start. Be upfront that you only want a casual, no strings attached type of situation. Agree on boundaries around communication, spending time together, etc.

2) Focus on the present moment, not the future. Enjoy his company and attention in the now, but don't fantasize or daydream about a future together. Stay grounded in reality.

3) Avoid oversharing personal details. The more you open up and share about your life, the more emotionally connected you can become. Keep conversations light and surface level.

4) Maintain your independence. Continue your normal routines, hobbies and social life separate from him. Don't make him the center of your world.

5) Be prepared to walk away. Remind yourself that this is a casual arrangement, not a relationship. You can end things at any time if you start feeling yourself getting attached.

6) Practice mindfulness and self-awareness. Notice early signs of attachment like excess thinking about him, longing for his attention, jealousy, etc. and course correct.

7) Avoid viewing men negatively. While being protective of your heart is wise, try not to make broad generalizations that can foster resentment. See this person for who he is, not his gender.

The most important thing is to check in regularly with your own needs, boundaries and feelings. With awareness, self-love and good communication, you can enjoy time with someone while protecting your heart. I hope this helps! Please let me know if you have any other questions.

[PositiveFlight]

You can’t! Sex is designed to invoke a set of emotions and feelings. And even if you don’t catch feelings, he might so you are potentially risking hurting someone else as well. Believe it or not, not all men are bad. Some men have feelings and can get hurt too. If you don’t want to catch feelings, or get hurt, then don’t play with fire. You play with fire, you will eventually get burned. If you play with sex, you will get hurt. You’re asking for sex without the responsibility of love and commitment is in and of itself selfish. Having sex without the intention of giving love is absolutely reckless behavior and not compatible with how we are designed as human beings

[Yannishka]

The answer you want is that as soon as a guy hits on you and tries to get to know you, you push them away and stick to yourself. Don't let anyone get to know you. Become as unlikeable as you possibly can.

But what you actually need is the following. First you should get it out of your head that all men aren't good people. Every man being evil and abusive is a straight up lie. If you think they are all bad, explain to me why so many of us are in a healthy and happy relationship. The correct answer is, there are good men out there.

[Pinay_ako]

By not being around him at all. Avoid him at all costs. Having sex and enjoying company with a man only creates feelings.

[BadApple69]

Unfortunately being hurt only means you are alive. Only the dead don’t feel hurt. Some hurts are worse then others. The old saying is “if at first you don’t succeed, try try again”. That should be everyone’s life motto. Love is too wonderful to give up on. And I look at it this way… if you could love someone and they love you deeply for just 1 day, would you do it? I would. That 1 day is or would be a great experience. No one knows how long love or life will be. Enjoy every moment while you have it.

[arandomgirlbruh]

"So how can I enjoy a man's sex and company without catching feelings to avoid getting played and hurt?"

you can't, we women enjoy the romantic part of sex. When it lacks romance he is just using you

[Miristheiss]

You cannot... nor should you try.

Put yourself out there and love again. Just be smarter. Maybe wait for marriage.

[FunkyMonkee]

No idea! How do you CATCH feelings? If you can actually catch it, there must be some kind of medicine to keep you from being able to catch it.

[Iron_Man]

Many people say that, but if you don’t fall in love, you’ll never get married or have a serious relationship

[PrincessBunBuns]

dude you're 30. get therapy at this point.

[Zachgoat308]

get over yourself