How do I stop catching feelings for a guy TOO fast?

Question

I think that this is primarily a female problem and it is one that I ESPECIALLY struggle with to the point that I feel that I have lost control over my emotions. Guys can be really sweet, manipulative, smart, and just know everything right to say to make a girl go head over heels for them. I emotionally invest myself TOO quickly and catch feels for people that likely are not even interested in having a committed relationship with me. Guys that are simply interested in receiving sexual favours or flirting and wasting time with me even have the capacity to hold my heart. And I hate that. I hate being so vulnerable. I know that if my feelings are this intense within days of meeting someone, then the heartbreak will be more than I can handle. I don’t want to keep loving people that don’t feel the same about me. Can anyone give me advice?

How do I stop catching feelings for a guy TOO fast?

Updates:

+1 y

Bump ~

+1 y

I feel so bad and stupid and I’ve been absolutely heartbroken recently. God I don’t ever want to talk to anyone again.

Answer 1

chantrllr

Xper 4

There’s nothing wrong with falling for someone quick, your problem is your obviously choosing the wrong guys and not even assessing properly or listening to if they are ready for a relationship. Just chill and be happy and be more selective with who you chat to, don’t need to fall for the first nice guy that pays you attention.

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Asker

+1 y
Guys have told me they loved me on a first date. I don’t think if a guy tells you that within your first interaction it’s genuine at all. Problem is, I fell for it.

Answer 2

Asker

Guys have told me they loved me on a first date. I don’t think if a guy tells you that within your first interaction it’s genuine at all. Problem is, I fell for it.

Answer 3

Ming_Ling

Xper 6

Limit how you text him make him come after u. Do not be annoying to run him away. Limit how much time u respond even if you want to trust me stay busy.. stay the chase

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1 Person

Answer 4

Internarchitect

Xper 6

You are right that some guys know just what to say and when to say it. I had a friend that was just a player. He was always getting the girl, but he also tended to use them as well. So, it was over soon, but there was always another.

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Asker

+1 y
I know deep down they are using me but my emotions blur my vision and put me into situations that aren’t healthy for me. I’m like the perfect target for players because I could fall in love with a guy in one day if he just presents himself well to me. How do I stop falling for everything so easily? It’s emotionally exhausting and overwhelming.
Internarchitect

+1 y
Well, you have to be skeptical. Take it down a notch and watch for the warnings signs. It’s kind of like cat fishing. If it is too good to be true, then it usually is.

I admit my friend was very charming. He was often the wittiest of my group of friends. He could have been a great guy if he just would have treated women with respect and kindness. I guess if you can get away with it, you will.
Asker

+1 y
How do I “take it down a notch?”
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Internarchitect

+1 y
I mean to just take it slow or at least slow down. Make him work for it. Keep him guessing. Don’t fall to quickly. If it is worth it to him, then he will continue to pursue you. He shouldn’t get all he wants, not now. Anyway, what he should want is the experience of getting to know you as a person. That should be enough for right now. Of course, there is nothing wrong with some affection as it progresses between you. Just be careful of the player wanting it too quickly. Good luck.

Answer 5

Asker

I know deep down they are using me but my emotions blur my vision and put me into situations that aren’t healthy for me. I’m like the perfect target for players because I could fall in love with a guy in one day if he just presents himself well to me. How do I stop falling for everything so easily? It’s emotionally exhausting and overwhelming.

Answer 6

Internarchitect

Well, you have to be skeptical. Take it down a notch and watch for the warnings signs. It’s kind of like cat fishing. If it is too good to be true, then it usually is.

I admit my friend was very charming. He was often the wittiest of my group of friends. He could have been a great guy if he just would have treated women with respect and kindness. I guess if you can get away with it, you will.

Answer 7

Asker

How do I “take it down a notch?”

Answer 8

Internarchitect

I mean to just take it slow or at least slow down. Make him work for it. Keep him guessing. Don’t fall to quickly. If it is worth it to him, then he will continue to pursue you. He shouldn’t get all he wants, not now. Anyway, what he should want is the experience of getting to know you as a person. That should be enough for right now. Of course, there is nothing wrong with some affection as it progresses between you. Just be careful of the player wanting it too quickly. Good luck.

Answer 9

Snickermarstwix | 124 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

Wait for mariage to have sex. A man with a brain can't go through that pain just for sex

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2 People

Asker

+1 y
I’m a virgin and I really would LOVE to hold on to that until marriage. However, it is so hard to find guys that would be willing to do so as well.
Snickermarstwix

+1 y
It's definetely not easy as sex has become a common thing to do but in religious community they are easier to fine

Answer 10

Asker

I’m a virgin and I really would LOVE to hold on to that until marriage. However, it is so hard to find guys that would be willing to do so as well.

Answer 11

Snickermarstwix

It's definetely not easy as sex has become a common thing to do but in religious community they are easier to fine

Answer 12

ohshee | 1.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Take a deep breath. Let me ask u a few things ok you care about people do you see and feel things deeper than most can you feel people's hurt and pain there enjoyment u read people pretty good I think u do and I think you don't under stand it yet but I would say ur gifted or an Empath I have more question if u want send me a message

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Asker

+1 y
Gifted lol?

Answer 13

Asker

Gifted lol?

Answer 14

Anonymous

I'm sorry. I've done this before myself, but I was a determined and desperate virgin at that time and so it became a deliberate action to change that. And I made every effort, at any cost, to achieve that goal. And I did.

I didn't even think about what came after at all.

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1 Person

Asker

+1 y
How did you overcome this problem? Any tips?
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Actually I haven't. I've been celibate ever since. I worry about hurting people and generally feel unable to love so I avoid messing with other people's feelings now.
Asker

+1 y
You feel unable to love anyone?
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Opinion Owner

+1 y
Yeah that's right. I objectify people. I don't know how to love anyone.
Asker

+1 y
Why not?
Opinion Owner

+1 y
I don't know. I guess I've never really done it before, and I grew up in an unloving family.

Feelings of closeness give me anxiety and make me uncomfortable.

Answer 15

Asker

How did you overcome this problem? Any tips?

Answer 16

Opinion Owner

Actually I haven't. I've been celibate ever since. I worry about hurting people and generally feel unable to love so I avoid messing with other people's feelings now.

Answer 17

Asker

You feel unable to love anyone?

Answer 18

Opinion Owner

Yeah that's right. I objectify people. I don't know how to love anyone.

Answer 19

Asker

Why not?

Answer 20

Opinion Owner

I don't know. I guess I've never really done it before, and I grew up in an unloving family.

Feelings of closeness give me anxiety and make me uncomfortable.

Answer 21

cavmanier | 1.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

I think it's as simple as realizing that things might not be as good as you anticipating.

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Asker

+1 y
Problem is I DON’T realize that and even if I do when I’m happy with someone I just don’t care about that. I’m so caught up in the moment.
cavmanier

+1 y
Yeah but that's why. You have to figure out how to overcome that.
Asker

+1 y
That’s what I’m saying... any advice?
Show All Show Less
cavmanier

+1 y
Just like with my answer, you have to know that the guy will probably not be as perfect as you think in the beginning.
cavmanier

+1 y
There's no magical voodoo if that's what you are wondering.

Answer 22

Asker

Problem is I DON’T realize that and even if I do when I’m happy with someone I just don’t care about that. I’m so caught up in the moment.

Answer 23

cavmanier

Yeah but that's why. You have to figure out how to overcome that.

Answer 24

Asker

That’s what I’m saying... any advice?

Answer 25

cavmanier

Just like with my answer, you have to know that the guy will probably not be as perfect as you think in the beginning.

Answer 26

cavmanier

There's no magical voodoo if that's what you are wondering.

Answer 27

Rocx79

Xper 1

Ask your friends what they think before getting emotionally involved. Usually they can tell if a guy has bad intentions before you do. Hopefully you can develop a warning system in time.

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Asker

+1 y
I don’t have friends that I’m close to that way. I move around a lot and I’m pretty much alone now. I think that’s what bad guys look for - lonely girls with bad home lives.

Answer 28

Asker

I don’t have friends that I’m close to that way. I move around a lot and I’m pretty much alone now. I think that’s what bad guys look for - lonely girls with bad home lives.

Answer 29

CTexpress

Xper 2

I feel like I'm the guy counter part of you I fall too easily for girls with beautiful smiles. What I learned to do is retreating back to my safe place and focus on things I like to do

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1 Person

Answer 30

Anonymous

By not being honest to yourself. If you are being honest in a relationship, you will fall for them easily and you will get hurt easily.

React

Asker

+1 y
What?
Opinion Owner

+1 y
If you are honest with someone, you will fall for them

Answer 31

Asker

What?

Answer 32

Opinion Owner

If you are honest with someone, you will fall for them

Answer 33

yoWAtdupGirl

Xper 1

Yo I literally have the same problem and I’m a guy, I swear yo it’ll to someone and next day they act like you don’t exist

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2 People

Answer 34

Nigjt | 186 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Find the one u want an don't let go

React

Asker

+1 y
Been there done that. Problem is the one I want doesn’t give 2 shits about me.

Answer 35

Asker

Been there done that. Problem is the one I want doesn’t give 2 shits about me.

Answer 36

GreenGold1992 | 2.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

You gotta restrain yourself

React

Asker

+1 y
I know that. The question is how lol?
GreenGold1992

+1 y
Its not something that can be taught, you gotta figure it out on your own and learn how to.

Answer 37

Asker

I know that. The question is how lol?

Answer 38

GreenGold1992

Its not something that can be taught, you gotta figure it out on your own and learn how to.

How do I stop catching feelings for a guy TOO fast?

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