Did I catch feelings too fast with him viewing it platonically?

[Captaincheeks]

me and this guy have dated in highschool, but it was wrong timing. We first became friends in middle school and was two peas in a pod, inseparable. We knew how to make each other smile, shared music. he barely showed up to school and ended up doing school online, he would stay in contact with me but it wasn’t like before. days ago he texted to see if he wanted to hang out since it’s been forever. We went to the park to talk. We laughed some moments and chilled. I missed him, I missed us. He never talked about what was going through his life and just wanted to know what was going on with me. I needed more time with him so I invited him to go to the amusement park with me and he said yes immediately and told me he was excited. it’s the day of the amusement park. He shows up at my home 30 minutes early. he was by my side riding rides. We took a break at the arcade because of the heat and then he said “usually couples come to the arcade together” but he never intended it on us. We played games, the shooting ones, etc. trip back in the car we were both exhausted, he laidback his seat and play his music in the car. I had the whole back to myself. Everytime he played a song he would look at me for several seconds, I would smile each time. He reached his hand towards me and I don’t know why he did so, I tried to touch his hand to see his reaction he pulled back immediately. I felt like I did something wrong. He would say things to make me smile. He blurted out in the car “I’m exhausted now but I’m happy.” When he said the word happy he looked at me. But when my dad had to stop and go to the store. It was just me and him in the car then he blunty said that his girlfriend liked the song I was playing. Which took me to a stop. I felt so many emotions at once. I wish he would’ve told me this beforehand because now I feel like a absolute idiot for flirting and showing interest with him when he has a girlfriend. I just wanted to try to fix things for us but it’s too late.

[HollyK21]

To be fair, he should’ve told you he had a girlfriend, and his actions made it seem like he was single. To be honest I’d be more upset with him than anything, because there was more than enough opportunity for him to tell you he wasn’t single, and he chose not to, which to me is him disrespecting his partner. It’s actually probably good for you to see you aren’t missing out on a good man. Maybe he’s kind, but not a good boyfriend.

[Captaincheeks]

I know right! It made me feel so gross being with him and then figuring out he has a girlfriend. We were together all day long and he could’ve been with her. It just makes me feel stupid honestly. He texted me yesterday but I haven’t read it yet so I can have a self reflection and go back off from him since he has a girl.

[HollyK21]

You shouldn’t feel stupid, because you just weren’t aware. Now that you are, you can act accordingly. Taking some time to reflect and step back from him is fine, but when you do get around to responding, I wouldn’t engage much and if he keeps trying to chat it up, tell him you don’t feel comfortable behaving how you used to, knowing he has a girlfriend. Personally I wouldn’t ask why he didn’t say anything, because that leaves room for him to make you feel even worse. Something like “oh I didn’t think I needed to because we are just friends” or “I’m sorry I didn’t know you had those sort of feelings for me anymore” would really crush you and seem like a gaslight, which he doesn’t deserve the opportunity to do. There’s just no good excuse for him to waste your time with.

[Captaincheeks]

Thank you so so much, I’m gonna take some time for myself and set priorities and once I reply I won’t engage! And totally, I don’t want to ask cause I feel like he would for sure answer it in a way that would hurt me worse plus it’s his privacy.

[kylee2437]

I don’t think it’s your fault, I think it’s weird that he didn’t voice that he has a girlfriend until pretty much entire day of what you thought was a date. Sounds like he wasn’t very clear about his intentions and may have been feeling guilt when he mentioned his girlfriend because of how he has been treating you the whole day.

[Captaincheeks]

It totally made me feel disgusted with myself because I’m not the type to mess with someone’s man. I definitely agree with you and thank you :) the past two days kinda have been making me feel unstable and very confused about the whole thing.

[kylee2437]

Yeah honestly maybe confront him about it? Tell him how come he didn’t say he had a girlfriend up until that very moment? At this point you don’t have much to lose because your intentions with him were obviously different than his

[Captaincheeks]

Will do! He needs to hear me out. He texted me yesterday but I’m waiting a couple ish days for a self reflection and to back off since he does has a girlfriend.

[kylee2437]

Definitely makes sense! You are very wise and I’m glad you aren’t one of those girls that goes after peoples girlfriends. You seem like an amazing person!

[kylee2437]

Peoples boyfriends*

[Captaincheeks]

Awww!!! Thank you🥺🥺🥺 you’re so sweet!!!

[TheNewGeneration]

No, what you did was reasonable. You didn't know that he had a girlfriend. Why do you think it's too late to fix things? He'll probably understand that you didn't know.