"Is 'Privacy' in a relationship just another word for 'Hiding Something'?

[loveguruclub]

I keep seeing people say that even in a committed relationship, your phone should be off-limits because "everyone deserves privacy."

But honestly, if you have nothing to hide, why does it matter? If my partner wants to see my messages, I’d let them—because I have zero secrets. To me, being "protective" over a passcode feels like a huge red flag.

Guys and Girls:

Do you think total transparency is the standard, or is a "private phone" a basic right?
Would you give your partner your passcode right now if they asked?

Total transparency! Secrets = Lying.

Privacy is healthy. You should trust me.

I’d give it, but I’d be annoyed they asked.

Only if they give me theirs first.

[Hardon-Collider]

i think that keeping secrets is of utmost phucking importance, but it is the activity of the soul that should be kept private. for example i discover through some deep thinking a powerful social "weapon" but i will keep it secret to prevent other's from abusing it.

the more developed you are in your soul, the more fucking sacred secrets you possess. the less does keeping trivial text messages private matter to you. ㅤ

[Noredcarpet]

I disagree with you. I did not know my partner was jealous and such a controlfreak that he would know more about what was going on with my phone than I did before. He knew about surprise gifts/adventures before I could surprise him with it. He knew private text messages between me and someone (female) she had entrusted me with, not him. It is important to respect each others privacy. We can turn the tables around if you do trust your partner then why would you need to have him/her hand over their phone to you when ever you feel like it? We can take another example, lets say you work for a company that give you computer, a phone and on there are things that are definitely none of your business and woukd he/she share that with you they be broken their company's trust, etc. If you are someone who needs to have total access to everything your partner do on his/her phone where does it end? How much more control do you need? Because I don't think the phone will be enough.

My partner and I are doing therapy because of his relationship with a socalled female friend who by the way is unstable and as much as I can feel sorry for her what I don't feel sorry for is when she has crossed boundary for friendship into something else, with his approval/emotional investment in her, in love? He denies, I might add. Now, he has had all his channels open meaning she has had free access to his social platforms, and of cource, it's a mess. He has offered me straight away to look through everything on his ohone, etc and to keep doing that, but I'm thinking this can to be a trap as she is reaching out and looks quilty but he is off it.

I think if a partner wants to hide something like an affair they are definitely not going to use the very devices in such a way that their partner can find out about it. Why I think there is no use in me having full access of what he hands over as he now too know I will have this. It has worked on some people going through jealousy and/or trust issues for them to feel they are in control to ease their own anxiety and as a tool to rebuild trust, but I can't say it works for me, and I don't want it. I don't want to be in a relationship when it is even an issue if not to have full access to the phone or not because it isn't about the phone, it's about trust, etc, that should be dealt with instead.

Long answer coming from me :)

[TwoDecisions]

It's not only my privacy that could be invaded by my partner sneaking through my phone. Other people count on me. Other people share with me. Other people are in my life. People I actually respect. If I knew they let their partner into my shit without my permission they'd be out of my life.

My partner has my passcode, he'll use my phone just as I'll use his, however neither of us do really. We have our owns and we have this fundamental thing in our relationship called trust. Saddens me to know how many lack that.

[Purpleronnie]

Nope , EVERYONE is allowed privacy in a relationship. But that does not stretch to deliberate secrecy such as concealing data on your phone that if known by your partner would cross the boundaries defined in your relationship , hurt them or mislead them


Nobody OWES their partner access to their phone just like they do not need to share every feeling , emotion or thought.


There is a need for privacy in a relationship but not secrecy


Healthy relationships are built on trust , not surveillance. Should my partner abuse my trust , that’s on them !

[AI Opinion]

Helping you navigate the world of love and connections is what I’m all about! 😘 Let's dive into this spicy topic of privacy vs. transparency. It’s like mixing two potent cocktails—trust and respect. Yes, we all deserve privacy, but it's not about hiding; it's about having a safe space. Total transparency can sound overwhelming to some and comforting to others, but mutual trust keeps it balanced. A protective passcode isn’t automatically a red flag; it might just mean valuing boundaries. Remember, lovebirds, it's all about knowing what works for both of you without the trust gymnastics! 🌟💬

[Anonymous]

I don’t think there’s a simple answer. Yes, I agree that wanting to hode your passcodes and not let your partner see your phone can be a sign of cheating and I do think there should be transparency. But also, they may message with their friends or family about things that are private to that family member/friend. Things they don’t want you or anyone else to know. They may text about gifts or surprises for you. Maybe know each others passcode but trust that you won’t read messages with their family/friends that you know.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Why does it matter? Because recognizing a right to privacy talks about how we handle boundaries, it is an ethical principle that matters to me, philosophically speaking. I enjoy knowing that she adheres to that principle, I would be disturbed if she didn't.

[DonaldDarko]

I don't know what's with all this phone stuff. My phone is just a phone. Anyone could pick it up and use it, scroll through the pictures, there is nothing in there, pictures of a carburetor funny pictures of my dog's tail when she sits on it and it makes a loop. Texts from work. What is supposed to be on your phone that is so bad you can't let your loved ones see it?

[FunkyMonkee]

Have you ever heard of a diary? I don't know of anybody that keeps one that lets anyone else look through it! Some things you just need to keep to yourself. My last girlfriend wouldn't let me stay in the bathroom when she peed. She wanted privacy! So, she got it!

[LazerBean]

I think for the phone thing, it's not a good sign. My husband and I are not forbidden to look through each other's stuff. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to read his journal or something, even though I'm technically allowed to.

[Nikki1989]

That is precisely what it usually means.

[msc545]

Privacy and hiding something are two different things. I'm not required to prove to you that I'm not hiding something, and if you think I am, we have no business being together.

[CuriousMufuxka]

What fuckin privacy? If one is to share their life with another than there should be nothing to hide.

[DishLady]

Nope.