Do you agree there is no excuse for a friend, relative, etc. to HARDLY reach out first , no matter how "busy" they are, etc?

[Steven80000]

If you have to nearly reach out first nearly all the time nearly 100 percent of the time for MANY months and years, than the other person doesn't care about you at all/that much. No body is that busy to not send a text, phone call, etc first. And it doesn't matter if you are not a texter, caller, introvert, etc. If you cared enough or at all, you would do it first from time to time. So if that person never reached out to you first, you would only reach out to say happy birthday, or never at all? You don't care that much than especially after the reason told you they would like for you to contact first at times and just for things like happy birthday.

Updates

3 mo

No excuses.

[NathanDavis]

for two of my friends... it's been almost, always me... the one who reaches out

it's been 10 to 20 years like that, lmfao

and it doesn't really matter to me... the important thing is that, they always, ALWAYS respond and they always give me hours of their time and attention

as for others, with some of my friends... they're the ones that always, or usually reach first, and then I do respond every time

it's just a dynamic that ended up happening for whatever reason, but... the end result is the same... we're still in touch, lol

[AviatorTom]

Nope. There are always legit excuses. For you to not realize that indicates that you want to control people, which is actually a sign of your insecurity.

[MontBlanc]

It’s not that black and white.

People can be busy but patterns matter.

If someone rarely reaches out first, it reflects priority.
“Busy” can explain a season, not a whole relationship.

[Steven80000]

I said if it happens nonstop not just sometimes. That means they don't care about you that much or not at all.

[Steven80000]

@MontBlanc it is a fact that if a friend or relative hardly contacts you first in years, months, etc they don't care about you that much or at all. Especially after you told them you would like for them to do it first at times and they very rarely do or at all. I know truth hurts you.

[MontBlanc]

I don’t disagree that consistency matters.

I just don’t see human behavior as that absolute.

Effort is important, yes but context and communication still play a role.

It’s not about truth hurting.
It’s about avoiding oversimplifying people.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to decode messy human behavior and call out the red flags with love. 😉

You’re right about one thing: effort is communication. If you’re always the one texting first for months or years, that’s emotional breadcrumbs, not a healthy bond. Nobody is “too busy” forever.

Match their effort. Stop chasing. If they only pop up on birthdays, that’s an acquaintance, not a friend. Protect your energy, not their excuses.

[Extraterrestrial1999]

I agree