Why does my married male coworker bring me food every day at work?

[TheLovelyWoman]

I feel like he shows more affection than my own husband.

[NoDecision]

Sounds like grooming for an affair/cheating to me.
The 8 Main Reasons Why People Cheat

Scientists revisit why people cheat and uncover some interesting findings.


Mutual trust is a hallmark feature of committed romantic relationships and is often (not always) tied to confidence that a partner is both romantically and sexually faithful. What if that trust is violated?

Infidelity can wreak havoc on a relationship. As summarized in a recent review, infidelity is a leading cause for marital divorce and pre-marital break-ups; it can trigger domestic violence; and it is a strong predictor of poor mental health, including depression and anxiety (Fincham & May, 2017). These adverse consequences might suggest that people go to great lengths to avoid infidelity, efforts reflected in overall rates that suggest infidelity is rare. But this is not the case. By some accounts, the lifetime prevalence of infidelity is approximately 20 to 25 percent of marriages, with men and women cheating at similar rates (Fincham & May, 2017).

Given that infidelity produces a constellation of adverse personal and relational consequences, yet people are known to cheat, the question becomes: why? Why risk it? What are the motivations that lead to infidelity?

Why Do People Cheat?
A recent investigation asked nearly 500 mostly heterosexual individuals about their past experiences cheating on a romantic partner (Selterman, Garcia, Tsapelas, & 2019). Note that having engaged in infidelity was an explicit inclusion criteria for the study, so all participants shared at least one instance of their own infidelity as part of the study. Approximately 95 percent gave examples that included sexual/physical infidelity.

These scholars aren't the first to ask the question of why people cheat (e. g., Barta & Kiene, 2005), but evidence regarding infidelity motives is surprisingly scarce, suggesting the need for empirical inquiry. In their study, Selterman and colleagues (2019) solicited reasons for why people cheated and then focused their analysis on synthesizing the many motives people offered. Seven main motives emerged from their analysis:

1. Falling out of love. Sometimes (but not always) a deficit in an existing relationship leads people to have extradyadic affairs. Over three quarters (77 percent) of participants indicated that a lack of love for their stable partner, and/or greater love for an extradyadic partner, was a fairly strong reason they cheated.
For variety. Other times, infidelity is not a response to a problem with an existing relationship; rather, it's a reaction to boredom. For many people (74 percent), a desire for variety factors into their cheating behavior. More men explained their infidelity as tied to this reason than women.
2. Feeling neglected. Similar to feeling a lack of love, some people engage in infidelity as a response to their partner's lack of attention. Participants (70 percent) revealed that feeling neglected was at least moderately tied to their cheating behavior. More women than men recognized this as one of their motives for cheating.
3. Situational forces. Not every act of infidelity is premeditated and driven by dissatisfaction with a current relationship. Many participants (70 percent) noted that factors of the situation were a key reason they cheated. Maybe they were drinking or in some other way thrown into an opportunity they didn't anticipate. More men recognized this motive as a reason for their cheating than women.
4. To boost self-esteem. It seems counterintuitive, given that infidelity tends to end with significant personal consequences, but for some people, the act of having an affair can boost their own ego and self-esteem. More than half of participants (57 percent) indicated that enhancing their self-esteem was a motive for their cheating.
5. Out of anger. This was not the most commonly cited reason, but anger played a role in the affairs of many participants (43 percent). In these cases, cheating was seen as a way to punish a partner or enact revenge.
6. Not feeling committed. Lacking love and lacking commitment to a current romantic partner are both tied to general feelings of relationship dissatisfaction. They may go hand in hand. In terms of commitment, nearly half (41 percent) of participants indicated that having low levels of commitment to their romantic partners motivated their cheating.
7. Because of sexual desire. About one-third of participants (32 percent) reported that they were driven to have an affair because of their sexual desire. Maybe in their established relationship, individuals aren't engaging in the frequency of sex, style of sex, or specific sexual behaviors that they want; this can contribute to their reasons to cheat. Men reported this reason more than women

[midnightmoon05]

There are missing information about this you are not sharing.

[AviatorTom]

Let me think like a guy... 😎

His wife is a horrible cook and he doesn't like anything she makes. But she makes food for him every day. He doesn't want it so he pawns it off on you. 🙊🙉🙈

[capriVib]

He must be bored with his monotonous married life like you, he’s just looking for some excitement.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to decode messy feelings and confusing behaviors… and this one is juicy 😏

Daily food from a married coworker is not “just being nice.” That’s nurturing, effort, emotional investment. Huge potential red flag. It can be emotional cheating territory if there’s flirting, special treatment, or “inside jokes.”

Enjoy the kindness, but set boundaries. And ask yourself why your husband feels colder than your coworker. That gap matters.

[DryGermanGuy]

„My name is Buck… and I’m here to fuck.“
- Buck the Orderly, Kill Bill 1

[slatyb]

He's crushing on you. It sounds like your marriage is not so good. What's keeping you in it?

[Bklynbadboy12]

You know why he's heard about the guys your having sex with at work and he's trying to get some to

[LEETSBEREAL]

Are you honestly complaining?

[abc3643]

You are work spouses.

[StephanieChick111]

Because he wants you.

[AngryCarl3]

Because you look painfully thin.

[msc545]

He just wants to fuck you.

[robocop666]

cause he has a crush on you

[Anonymous]

Maybe he likes you.