Was I wrong for telling my boyfriend I don't have an Instagram account?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend asked if I had Instagram Weve only been together for about a week Then he said if you have Instagram give it to me and give me the password too I told him I dont have an Instagram account Not because Im cheating on him or talking to other guys but because I consider it private I've had a few male friends for years and I know he would probably ask me to remove them

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode relationship behavior and spot red flags before they bite you, gorgeous 😉

You were NOT wrong at all. Huge red flag that after one week he’s demanding your Instagram AND password. That’s control, not love. Privacy isn’t cheating. Long-term male friends aren’t cheating. Him trying to police that is insecure and borderline lovebombing-then-control energy.

You did the right thing. Keep your boundaries.

[HollyK21]

This does not sound like a good situation. If he wants your password it’s most likely because he’s got trust issues, which I don’t agree with him bringing into a brand new situation. However you will only add to, and justify, those issues by lying about such unnecessary things. You don’t know if he would asked you to remove your male friends, but if you’re hiding them like this then that makes it look shady and as if there’s more to those connections than there is at all.


I’m someone who believes that any friends I’ve made before my relationship, I am going to keep. Especially if they aren’t problematic then no, I’m not dropping my old male friends. However if I were in your shoes, I couldn’t even blame my new boyfriend for wanting them gone, because now he will wonder why you hid them. I just think you’re starting things on the wrong foot, and creating a mess. If you don’t feel as though you can be honest or advocate for not only yourself but your unproblematic friendships then I don’t know, maybe you aren’t mature enough for a serious relationship yet.

[Asker]

I actually told him I didn’t have an Instagram account because I wasn’t thinking about anything serious with him anyway

[Nikki1989]

Someone asking me that would be enough of a red flag to avoid that person totally. It is sad that "What's your Instagram?" is now a getting-to-know-you tactic.

[jamesgoldman]

Social media is how these young folk do everything and nothing all at once

[Asker]

After we became a couple, he asked for my Instagram account.

[bear34]

You can state your own rules at the beginning of a new relationship. It isn't right to share social media passwords in a new relationship; it’s a sign of mistrust. We aren't children; we are adults. Instead of lying, make your boundaries clear to them.

[Asker]

I just didn’t want to deal with it, and I’m going to break up with him.

[bear34]

This is your choice. Do what you believe is right for yourself.

[FunkyMonkee]

Only if you DO have one but, at the same time, if you ARE worried about or dealing with privacy issues, I can see why you wouldn't. But, if he's your boyfriend!!!

[EmmaMary]

RED FLAG... It's time you found yourself a new boyfriend.

[Asker]

I think so too😹

[EmmaMary]

Well, there's your answer then... Good Luck. 🤞

[genericname85]

you gave the wrong answer. the answer should have been: "you're not getting the login to my instagram! are you crazy?"

[Asker]

Arguing exhausts me so much, so I don’t say it because he would start a fight. That’s just the kind of person he is

[Staximus]

Any guy who asks for your password is a control freak, especially after a week. Get rid of this guy before he starts abusing you

[Staximus]

Yes you were wrong, you should have told him to fuck off into the sunset

[Asker]

I’m going to break up with him soon anyway.

[Staximus]

Just do it now before you change your mind

[Iron_Man]

You’re already boyfriend and girlfriend 7 days later? 😂

[Iron_Man]

One time this girl wanted to be my girlfriend after knowing her for five hours she works quickly

[Asker]

We’ve been dating for 2 weeks.

[Iron_Man]

That’s still early as far as that girl goes. I turned her down the next time we talked on the phone. and I introduced her to my friend.

[Iron_Man]

And Johans didn’t waste time with her lol 😳

[Asker]

You did the right thing.

[Iron_Man]

Yeah, I wasn’t really interested in her so I gave her to my friend and he took care of her, if you know what I mean, but that was a long time ago, and I don’t wanna approve that kind of stuff

[Iron_Man]

But I didn’t know they were gonna get together and do that stuff

[Asker]

If I were in your place, I would do the same thing. If a guy I just met wanted to date me and I had no interest in him, I would set him up with my friend too. I’ve actually done that before.

[Iron_Man]

Good we have something in common