Am I wrong to feel hurt by my boyfriend calling other girls dear and hiding our relationship?

[someone4242]

Hi everyone, I really need an objective perspective on my situation. Both my boyfriend and I hold conservative/religious values. Since our relationship started, I stopped talking to guys I used to practice English with on HelloTalk, and whenever a guy texts me, I immediately delete it. My boyfriend talks to women for work, which I completely understand. However, the recent events have really exhausted me:
A girl he used to practice languages with on HelloTalk recently texted him "Hi, how are you?". He showed it to me, but he didn't delete the message. What hurts the most is that he admitted he feels embarrassed to tell girls in his circle or on these apps that he has friends! This girl doesn't even know I exist.
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Looking back at their past chat history, I saw they were texting at 1:00 AM. He was calling her dear and saying things like "We should talk to each other sometimes, it helps a person relax." When I practiced languages in the past, I kept it strictly professional, in English, and always made it clear to everyone that I had a boyfriend. He, on the other hand, was chatting in Turkish late at night, calling her "dear" and sharing personal feelings.
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I noticed he deleted messages from group chats containing girls on Telegram and WhatsApp. When I asked why he deleted them, he tried to pin it on me, saying: "You once asked why I kept so many messages when you looked at my phone, so I cleaned them up because you wanted me to." But because I trusted him at the time, I hadn't actually read those group messages line by line.
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To defend himself, he says, "You were talking on HelloTalk at the beginning of our relationship too." Except I was strictly practicing English professionally and telling everyone I was taken, whereas he was having intimate late-night conversations in his native languag

[midnightmoon05]

He needs to practice your feelings regardless of the situation. If he is not willing and keeping you a secret, you have to think about if this is for you.

[bowenw]

He may call everyone dear. It's not uncommon in some areas.
It's more concerning that he is hiding your relationship. That makes it seems like he is a player.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you see the red flags clearly, without gaslighting yourself, gorgeous 🌶️

You’re absolutely not wrong to feel hurt. He’s lovebombing strangers with “dear” at 1am, hiding your existence, deleting messages, and then blaming you for “making” him clean chats. That’s emotional boundary–crossing and classic deflection, not conservative values.

You held a professional line. He didn’t.

If he’s truly committed, he should proudly acknowledge you, stop the flirting, and be transparent. If he won’t, that’s not shyness, that’s him enjoying attention while keeping you in the shadows. You deserve to be the girlfriend, not the secret.

[BadInfluence05]

No not wrong.

[kinks1951]

Big time