Why would a man who won’t marry me get jealous when I move on?

[MissSunshine2]

I had a guy assume I was playing games when I said I was moving on and he told me for the second time that he was seeking a wife, going on dates and would never marry me and I took his advice when he said; 'Do that;' to start seeing other men, not to make him jealous, just because I too would like to fall in love and be married one day and he's told me twice that he wants marriage but not with me and I accepted it and I have decided that I am now ready to move on. Once he realised I was serious and that I really have met two guys and I'm planning to pursue other men, he's seeking me out to openly act jealous and unhappy.

Is it about power, where they don't want you themselves, but they don't want anyone else to have you either?

Updates

12 d

I'm not being bitchy or playing games, I genuinely don't get a lot of people's behaviour a lot of the time.

[Anonymous]

It could be about power. But he’s just mad that he’s losing access to free pussy. A man will be friends w benefits w a girl but get mad when she meets someone else cause he’s losing his free coochie. Time to move on.

[MissSunshine2]

Agreed. He never got sex from me though. He just led me on for two years, for fun.

[Opinion Owner]

So in one way or another he was using you for something. He isn’t going to stay around if he’s not getting something out of it.

[MissSunshine2]

For attention and an emotional ego boost, I think.

[Opinion Owner]

What about food, a place to live?

[MissSunshine2]

Nope. He has his own place.

[Opinion Owner]

So he was living w you. That’s what he was using you for among other things.

[MissSunshine2]

No he wasn’t living with me

[Opinion Owner]

Ok. Well he was getting something some how. Most men aren’t going to stick around do they’re not getting something out of it

[MissSunshine2]

The opportunity to use me as a placeholder while he explored other options without commitment.

[Opinion Owner]

But even than you said he wasn’t getting sex or anything like that so there was no reason for him to stay at all. Unless he was just trying g to use that on another woman to get her attention or something

[MissSunshine2]

Maybe he was? I have had modelling career opportunities.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so what’s the plan now?

[MissSunshine2]

Well, just continue on with life and be acquaintances with him I guess.

[Opinion Owner]

Why would you still be acquaintances w him?

[MissSunshine2]

Because he goes to the same social events.

[Opinion Owner]

I’d just ignore him

[NathanDavis]

not everyone is after marriage...

[MissSunshine2]

He is, but not with me. In two years, we've never kissed or been intimate while he's shacked up with other people on and off. I don't know what his house looks like, he won't add me to facebook and I've never met his family or friends.

[NathanDavis]

well, he hasn't

[MissSunshine2]

He probably has and that's okay now. If he'd wanted me. he'd have done something about it in the two years he could have.

[NathanDavis]

if you say you have moved on... why haven't you

forget about it, forget about him... lol

[MissSunshine2]

Simple. I'm bored and this is a question and answers site, which I assumed is meant to explain other people's weird behaviour.

[NathanDavis]

people lie sometimes you know?

and some do it all the time

[MissSunshine2]

lie about what and do what all the time?

[MissSunshine2]

what's the point in lying? It just annoys and bores people.

[NathanDavis]

they tell you they want to marry, but will not marry you

they just want the sex, or the attention, or the drama...

[MissSunshine2]

I think the drama in his case.

[MissSunshine2]

so what's with his jealousy when he didn't want to marry me when he had several opportunities to do so without my pressuring him?

[NathanDavis]

he wasn't going to marry... he just wanted to play for the drama

[MissSunshine2]

wasn't going to marry me or get married in general?

[NathanDavis]

high chances he won't marry anybody... not any time soon

[MissSunshine2]

So probably happy playing the field?

[NathanDavis]

not so happy... they're never happy

it's a vicious cycle

[MissSunshine2]

Oh? Well, I guess he wants different things than I do and that’s his journey to make in his own time with other women.

[NathanDavis]

right... and you're doing the same already, with other men

so, that worked out well

[MissSunshine2]

Yes it did. ☺️

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG: decode relationship confusion and call out red flags with a little charm 😏

He wants control, not commitment. Classic “I don’t want to marry you, but I don’t want you moving on” energy. That’s ego, power, and a fear of losing his supply, not love.

You did the right thing. Believe his words: “I’d never marry you” is your closure. Keep dating, keep glowing, let him sit in the jealousy he created.

[sage2021]

I was once dating this guy who had a bad case of commitment phobia and he encouraged me to see other guys.


I took his advice and one night I was saying good night to my first date outside of my house.


Guess who pulled up at that moment? Guess who was jealous?


I rest my case.

[Anonymous]

Are you pretty? And what about him? Are you not his type

[MissSunshine2]

We’re both ordinary

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he wants someone extremely beautiful?

[Opinion Owner]

Was this the guy you were in love with?

[MissSunshine2]

One of them.

[MissSunshine2]

Maybe he does, that’s a valid point ☺️

[Opinion Owner]

Was this the hot guy who was slim , and didn’t date u because u were fat?

[MissSunshine2]

No. This is the average guy who was slim and said I wasn’t his type but he keeps coming back to try to make excuses and string me along. While he looks for a wife in someone else.

[Opinion Owner]

What about the other guy you said was really handsome?

[MissSunshine2]

He pops up from time to time and alternated between offering me commitment and offering something casual but I keep ignoring it.

[MissSunshine2]

Obviously all his other options failed.

[Opinion Owner]

What makes this handsome guy , handsome , and the ordinary guy ordinary?

[MissSunshine2]

The handsome guy had sex appeal and the other guy I just liked but he was ordinary looking.

[Opinion Owner]

Sex appeal is a personality trait. I meant what made him physically stand out to you? Have u moved on from the hot guy?

[MissSunshine2]

I think the fact that he had a beautiful face and body and yes.

[Opinion Owner]

Do you have have a celeb reference for both the guys? Just pursue the hot one. Never commit injustice for yourself and the other person by being with someone whom u aren’t attracted to

[MissSunshine2]

Not really. My attraction was based on liking him as a person.

[Opinion Owner]

But looks matter. That’s what differentiates friendship from relationship. Any celeb reference you have for the hot guy

[MissSunshine2]

They matter less to me. Barry Gibb for the hot guy. But he isn’t Barry Gibb.

[Opinion Owner]

And the less attractive one who do u feel he looks like?

[MissSunshine2]

Martin plaza from mental as anything but not Martin plaza.

[Opinion Owner]

Martin plaza is objectively attractive, cmon

[MissSunshine2]

Ordinary.

[Opinion Owner]

Nooo , he’s really handsome with his light eyes. Have you ever proposed a relationship with either of these 2 guys? A rejection is hard but it helps you move on

[MissSunshine2]

I did and now the Barry Gibb lookalike tries to get me to be with him and the Martin plaza lookalike is trying to keep me as an option.

[Opinion Owner]

So , the hot guy wants you , great. Why are u still keeping the mid one as an option

[MissSunshine2]

I’m not keeping either of them as options.

[Opinion Owner]

How do u look by the way

[MissSunshine2]

Mildly attractive. Bridget jones first movie style

[MissSunshine2]

Except with brown hair

[MissSunshine2]

It’s not just about how people look as you get older. I agree if there’s no attraction at all, you shouldn’t be with someone; but you shouldn’t pick a serious partner based on how hot they are.

[Opinion Owner]

But you clearly aren’t straight in the head yourself. U seem to be juggling with quite a few. You don’t juggle multiple people when looking for a serious relationship. Who do u look like

[MissSunshine2]

I disagree. It’s ok to date casually a few until you decide to sleep with one, then you’re committed to only one.

[Opinion Owner]

No my darlin. That’s not how it works. You hold up for the one. You don’t run yourself up and expect someone to pick u. Who do u look like

[MissSunshine2]

Ah, now I see. You’re a troll.

[Opinion Owner]

Calling me a troll is an easy way to escape hote bad decisions

[MissSunshine2]

It doesn’t make it any less true that you’re a troll.

[Opinion Owner]

How do you look

[MissSunshine2]

I’m attractive. Why are you so obsessed with how people look all the time. You’re always asking how everyone looks?

[MissSunshine2]

Older people don’t think like people in their twenties, most of us aren’t virgins and don’t regret it and it’s not all about looks and status as you get older.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok , but how do u look? Just date the hot guy if he seems to like u then

[MissSunshine2]

Like Renee zellwegger but younger with dark hair. Geeze.

[Opinion Owner]

You sound stunning , wny aren’t u married yet

[Opinion Owner]

Definitely because you aren’t marriage material. You should have been a good virgin. You sound stunning but still no man has wifed u because you aren’t a woman of character

[MissSunshine2]

Well thanks. I just see myself as average and honestly never found the right person. Also I wasn’t ready until my mid thirties for anything serious. ☺️

[MissSunshine2]

Only according to you.

[Opinion Owner]

Why aren’t any of these young gentleman the right person? You clearly never will be. A relationship is about learning to love a person right , not expecting for the right person to fall on your lap magically. You clearly are not ready

[MissSunshine2]

We’re obviously not right for each other and you’re not ready either with such a naive worldview.

[Opinion Owner]

Why aren’t u right for each other?

[MissSunshine2]

Because I’m not interested in one and the other isn’t interested in me.

[Opinion Owner]

Are you really more into the unnatractive guy

[MissSunshine2]

Yes I was, but since he said he’s looking for a wife and won’t marry me, I’ve started my search to meet someone else instead.

[Opinion Owner]

Why did u not like the handsome guy more

[slatyb]

Why are you even seeing his messages? Block him and move on.

[Paige2006]

Because he doesn't want to commit