Is it normal for boyfriend's friends to show off/brag about themselves?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months now, his one buddy (who ill call jim) just so happens to live 2 doors down from me so we have gone over there to visit every now and then. Jim's baby mama was supposed to be moving in with him and they were going to work things out, but then Jim came over one day to mine&boyfriend place and when my boyfriend went out to the garage, Jim stayed in the house proceeded to tell me how his baby mama would rather move on with someone else, etc. Which is all fine, I thought maybe he was seeking female advice but I thought it was odd that he would stay in the house alone with me and then he kept wanting to come over or kept seeing if me and boyfriend want to hang out which is fine, but then Jim kept getting in my personal space and everytime we talk he keeps comparing himself to my boyfriend in a way that suggests he is better than my boyfriend... for example Jim told me about he decided to go to anger management where as my boyfriend was court ordered to take anger management&keeps telling me things about my boyfriend from the past. I'm not sure if he means well and is trying to help or is trying to sabotage our relationship. Jim also applied at same place I work, but don't work same shifts. After I expressed to my boyfriend how I don't like how Jim keeps staying in the house alone with me, Jim hasn't come over anymore. I just feel like he is overstepping his bounds and don't understand why he feels the need to keep telling me things about my boyfriend's past or why he keeps comparing himself to my boyfriend to me because as I told my boyfriend I like him, I'm with him. Yes, my boyfriend may have a past, but everyone makes mistakes and he is trying to do better. I may be crazy, but I feel like Jim is trying to come between us it feels like by telling me the negatives about my boyfriend. It feels that way anyway, but is it possible I could be wrong? Why else would he be bragging about himself to me?

[Abbycado]

Yep, guys do this and are in constant competition.

A lot are anyway.

[Asker]

I understand that and agree but I don't understand why because I will never go after his friend, ew.. not a chance

[DryGermanGuy]

"This is how insecure heterosexual males used to bond!"

- Lenina Huxley, Demolition Man

[Asker]

Why does my boyfriend's friend feel the need to brag about himself to me? I don't care if he's done something better than my boyfriend has, I am with my boyfriend, not his friend... is his friend trying to drive a wedge between us? I get that males compete but for what purpose in this scenario? Does his friend think or expect/hope that I will leave my boyfriend? Is that why? Make it make sense...

[DryGermanGuy]

It's the animalistic part of the brain taking over (think dog pack), competing for a better place in procreation hierarchy. I even had one of my friends act up like this in front of my sister (!). Make *that* make sense! 🥴

[Asker]

That makes sense and wow, that's prett6 uncool in my opinion and I 100% do not like his friend in that way, eww

[MrChinaski]

Punctuation: making the World a better place for 8000 years.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, most are like that, it seems. They like to think they know everything.

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to help you decode messy relationship dynamics and spot red flags before they blow up your love life. 💋

You’re not crazy at all, you’re perceptive. Jim is throwing walking-red-flag energy. Comparing himself to your boyfriend, trash-talking his past, staying alone with you, bragging about being “better” than him… that’s low-key lovebombing mixed with sabotage.

You already did the right thing by telling your boyfriend and setting a boundary. Keep distance, stay polite but cold, and don’t entertain private talks with Jim. His behavior isn’t “normal friend stuff,” it’s him testing if he can wedge himself between you two. And he failed. 😏

[Iron_Man]

Yes, it is