Why am I afraid of fighting?

[Kellen21]

I'm 21 considered to be a big guy, 6'2 and over 250 lbs. I NEVER pick fights unlike some of my friends I've only been in a few minor scuffles in my life when I was much younger. I have never truly punched anyone or have been punched in the face. I have no idea how hard I can punch or if I can even take a punch. I would take fighting classes but they're too expensive. Every time I think about fighting I always think of the worst possibilities such as becoming serious injured or getting shot or stabbed. I feel like such a weakling, how can I stop this?

[iamchum]

...Don't pick fights ...avoid them if you can ... don't listen to anyone who says, you are less manly because you can't ball up your fist and throw it as hard as you can in someone else's general direction.

Statistically speaking:

1. Getting into a fight will have a greater chance of costing you more than handing money over to a mugger

2. Getting into fights normalizes aggression, in the long run, you are more likely to get into more fights, and your day to day behavior is likely to be altered

3. Generally, and especially in brawls, punches are thrown at the head (because that is where most people THINK the most damage can be done...). Personally, knowing that every time you take a punch, your brain (the actual organ) is shocked and you go into a mini coma for a millisecond (at which point some brain cells die), is not something I like doing.

4. Getting into fights, especially random ones, is no way to build self-confidence, there are other underlying issues if that is the problem.

5. If you REALLY want to learn how to fight, learn a technical martial art, for example, I learned judo and ju-jitsu, none of which involves strikes to the head, and there is no shame in tapping out (tapping out is not an indication of weakness, just an indication that you did sometime technically wrong earlier in the fight that got you into that position).

6. If you have learned wrestling or grappling techniques, don't be "brutal". Be cool, calm and clear headed. The guy opposite of you in a bar is unlikely to be expecting holds and throws. Don't go into a blood rage, use his blood rage against him.

7. Be the bigger man. If you can walk away from the fight, walk away. If you simply cannot, disarm or disable the guy, don't beat him to a pulp. You don't need to half kill someone to prove any point. In fact fists need not be used at all. If you can use your words to calm him down, even better, and, tell yourself, you know you are intelligent enough to sort out the situation in a rational manner.

8. Be confident about yourself. Don't initiate fights. When you back out of a fight someone else is initiating, know that they are the one with some inner issue (you don't need to deliberate on it, just know they are simply lashing out at you).

9. Finally, if you know you can't fight, don't. The simple matter of the fact is learning a martial art, while giving you tools to work with, is simply a matter of fear control. There are other ways to exercise and develop fear control i.e. bungee-jumping, sports involving lots of speed etc.

That's it from me. Keep in mind, if there were more people who could control their will to fight, it would be a more peaceful world. Hopefully, you will contribute to that.

[YouKnowThatGuy]

Go try boxing or MMA. Get in the ring with somebody who knows what they're doing and is willing to fight. Fighting in the ring is harder than fighting in any street fight, I've been in both. You get in the ring, you'll be a lot more grounded about fighting after a couple times in there.

It's better you find out what kind of person you are in a controlled environment anyway. If you have a glass jaw and get knocked out easy, somebody is there to step in and the fight ends. If you have a glass jaw in a street fight, you will very likely get stopped the hell out while on the ground when you're defenseless. That's asking for serious bodily harm.

Plus if you fight somebody who knows what they're doing, seriously hurting them becomes much less likely. Plus you'll have the right protective gear. I think I've hit enough points on why you should give it a go.

[heelsaresexy]

Maybe you're afraid of really hurting someone, losing control (because that's what I'm afraid of).

I'm always afraid I'm going to end up accidentally killing someone from punching them in the wrong place or something. I myself have actually been in all out brawls with my sister, but that's it. Like, she's gone to jail a couple of times actually lol, it's really bad. So I just focus on nerve areas to target so that I can disable her without actually fighting, maybe you can google it and teach yourself some nerve points and where organs are exposed to poke them if you're ever in trouble. That's what I do, and I'm a bit of a trouble maker. My favorite ways of getting out of fights are kidney jabs, trachea jabs, and if possible - squeezing the nerves of the back of the neck (spine) almost like you do to a cat. It really hurts people if you have a firm grip & it's easy to throw them away from you.

[JanJan]

You're just human. When people aren't in defensive situations (such as a mugging, protecting someone, etc), it is hard for them to imagine doing something violent. Without training, we usually only have "it" in us when we need "it". There's nothing wrong with not wanting to feel pain or inflict pain on another human being.

[NothingGoldCanStay]

A man does not know him self until he has fought. Unfortunately in the US people tote guns and sh*t so I would not advice just getting in a fight with a random person. I would go for something simple. Next time you see an a**hole who needs to be put in his place, like a dude shouting at his wife or insulting someone smaller. Go up to them and tell him, what's your problem? Speak your mind. Make sure it is in a public place so he is less likely to use a weapon. Then when the fight start there are some key things to do.

1. Be cold

2. Be brutal

I mean it, you have to want to make this person surrender or else you will be the one to have to surrender. Aim straight and don't hesitate. Hit and keep hitting until he is bleeding. Another pointer. Make sure he is alone, you don't want to find your self surrounded by dudes.

[NothingGoldCanStay]

Another thing, if you are woried about pain, don't, there will be too much addrenaline in your system for you to feel anything. Getting punched in the face will almost feel surreal, it will only hurt after.

[Anonymous]

It's not normal to go around picking fights. That's aggressive violent behavior. I've been in a number of fights over the years but I don't pick fights. I'm not afraid but in that moment everyone gets that fight or flight response going on. Your adrenaline is pumping you are on edge maybe a little shaky or have a little fear, but having courage is what carries you through the battle. You ask why you are afraid? I guess your brain picks flight over fight more often. It's just part of who you are.

[AndyTheG]

Practice makes perfect - do some boxing with some of your mates. My friend Alex and I head up to a local park each Monday to do boxing, I bought some gloves and pads so we do drills and work on technique etc, doesn't have to cost you!

[frustratedchump06]

nothing wrong with fighting

[Moloch]

You haven't been in any fights that's why.