When my boyfriend and I argue he doesn't really try to fight back?

[Anonymous]

What does this mean? Lol we are argue sometimes it rarely gets really bad. But I asked him why he doesn't try to argue back to get his points across and whatever. And he said because he's afraid if He fights with me That he'll lose me. This made me think.

Does he not argue back because he could just care less or because he really does care for our relationship.

[Marchesi]

I sometimes don't argue because either I know I am right and I find it amazing cute when she figures out I was right (when we're on the phone late into the night 3 am long day) (for example she was so tired she thought there were 27 letters in the alphabet because you usually sing t you v w x why and z), I do not want to start an argument, no matter how small. Or I simply do just do not have enough knowledge about it and know she doesn't either, in that case I just stay quiet and listen, nod and never bring it up in a serious manner, only in a fun teasing way.

[Asker]

I like how you find it cute when she realizes you're right:P haha

[TheDigitalSaint]

Men REALLY DO NOT LIKE ARGUMENTS with women.

link

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Simply put, arguing is HIGHLY stressful for men and stress is the number one reason why men die sooner than women. When you argue with your man for any reason that isn't absolutely necessary, it is bad for his health.

[Asker]

The way you put it made me laugh lmao.! But the articles were...interesting :P

[TheDigitalSaint]

Women argue to talk out problems. Men hope to never argue. Unless a man is addicted to stress, few things are more frightening than an angry woman. Chill out, fight less and only fight over the really big things. Your man will be more responsive if the fights are very rare.

[Asker]

Sounds like a good plan. And less stress for both of us would be good.

Thank you(: haha

But just curious, how do you solve problems with your significant other?

[TheDigitalSaint]

Well, I'm not currently with a SO, but I came up with a plan that worked great with my ex. Whenever she got really emotional, I'd playfully tackle her and wrestle. It is much harder to be mad with someone who is trying to pin you down playfully. After we're done wrestling, she was much more relaxed and we could get to the bottom of things without the yelling. Your millage may vary, but it worked great for us! :D

[Asker]

I wouldn't be able to stay upset either, that's very smart haha:P

[TheDigitalSaint]

Give your man permission to take you over the sofa and make out with you at will. Or at the very least, a little friendly wrestle on the living room floor. It will take the fight out of both of you. :)

[Asker]

Agreed :D

[zombiefood]

You shouldn't be trying to fight/argue with him to begin with. That's highly immature, especially trying to bait him into it, as well. There is absolutely no need to people to argue or fight in a relationship. Communication and intelligent, calm conversation can accomplish everything and more that any childish, silly argument could. It means he's grown up/mature and isn't going to buy into pointless fights. That's what it means. You should follow his lead and do the same. =D

[Asker]

No no, you must have misunderstood I don't "enjoy" arguing with him. It's just some things shouldn't be ignored. And I've never "baited" him into anything so where that came from, idk.

When you're angry or upset being calm is sometimes very difficult. It's also harder to get feelings out that way.

[zombiefood]

Well then you need to wait until you're calm and then talk to him about it. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years now and we disagree about several things but never once have we ever fought. Fighting means that you're reducing the other person to a child. It means you don't think they can handle mature conversation. Or you're reducing yourself to a child because you don't have the maturity to calm down and just talk. That's something you're going to need to learn. And you don't have

[zombiefood]

to ignore anything. If he does something wrong and so you get angry and yell at him for it you're treating like a five year old and COMPLETELY disrespecting him. You're being every horrible girlfriend stereotype in the book. If you really love him and you really respect him and want to be with him when he did things that made you angry you wouldn't go into rage mode. You'd be able to say, "I really didn't appreciate that." and if he doesn't get why explain it calmly and let him apologize, and

[zombiefood]

explain himself and then you're all done. This method also allows you guys to grow closer and learn what the other does and doesn't like and become a better, more loving, stable, growing couple.

[Asker]

I've tried to talk to him and really listen to his views and it feels like he is telling me exactly what he thinks I want to hear and nothing more. I'd rather have the truth. But I really like the way you compared me treating him like a child, that's very true. And wrong of me.

Didn't so much like the horrible girlfriend part, I'm not that bad just frustrated. :P lol

And I've also been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. Haha

[zombiefood]

Well then that's something to talk to him about. Tell him you really want him to be open and you're trying not to yell any more and if he's open with you and communicates how he really feels and all that then you'll be better able to stay calm and talk with him not just get angry and yell. Ask him to please say what he really feels so you two can both have a happy relationship.

[Asker]

That's a much more effective (and mature) way to approach this.

Thank you.! :D

I'm sure my boyfriend would thank both of you two for answering also, if he knew lmao.

[CashMoneyAllDay]

hhhmm..alot of guys find argueing pountless..and see it as feminine..we want to remain cool all the time..girls are more emtioanl than guys..we think rationally..lol..what is screaming and argueing gonna solve..id rather jsut get away from it all..I HATE drama..i def don't think tis a sign he deosnt care..

augueing is very annoying..