Boyfriend that I live with stayed the night at a friend's house last night for the first time in three years?

Question

So yesterday, after I got off of work, my boyfriend and I spent some time together and he was being super sweet alllllll day. Until, his friend came over and announced that they were going to be staying the night at his house. Now me and my boyfriend have lived together for about 2 years all together, and he has NEVER stayed the night anywhere else. I'm freaking out. We were doing great, and then he decides to take a night to "Skyrim it up". Now, the friend he stayed the night with also has a girlfriend. I'm basically trying to figure out if he did this to try and save us in a way or if he really just wanted to be away from me, this just isn't like him. He didn't text me at all except at midnight to say, "B I'm just going to pass out here I love you" -exact text message.

Now, I didn't reply. I figured if I didn't have anything nice to say, I wouldn't say anything at all. And I really don't know if that was the best thing to do or not, but he never tried getting ahold of me the whole night we were apart. Just sent that and I never heard from him again. I got up and went to work this morning, so I won't see him until I get off at 2 today, unless of course he is still gone or something.

How should I act when I get home? And why did he do this? I'm so confused, and I don't know how to take all of this...help?

JanJan · Accepted Answer

I get the feeling that you two don't spend much time away from each other? There comes a time in every relationship where you HAVE to start spending time with your friends. You have to regularily go out with yours, and he should regularily go out with his. To spend ALL of your time togther is not healthy, and it is a comon cause of relationship failure. He is not doing this to send you a message or get away from you. He just needs time with his bud to hang out, because he also cares about his friends. Don't read into this. The fact that he warned you in advance and sent you a text says that he doesn't want you to worry and cares about you. If you are worried about such a small thing, after such a long time being together, I think there might be something bigger that you haven't included. Have you been fighting recently? Have you been insecure about something? You need to trust each other, and if you don't, it suggests that something is wrong. If there is a bigger problem, sit down and talk calmly about it. But don't worry about him unless he's given you real reason to worry.

Sit down and have a nice night to yourself, or invite your own friend over!

fascination_streak · Accepted Answer

Sometimes, a guy likes his buddy time and his own space. It doesn't mean that he loves you any less, that you did anything wrong or the relationship is bound to be doomed. It's very healthy and really I think he should have time for his hobbies and friends outside of the relationship. The same goes for you. Even though you're in a relationship, you still need to maintain your own identity and independence outside of the relationship. It enables you to breathe more in the relationship, maybe have more alone time or just 'you' time.

Personally, I wouldn't be mad at him at all. When he gets home, I'd proceed as you normally would. Ask him how his night was and if he had fun then drop it. He needs to feel that you are secure and above all that you trust him- bottom line. Unless he truly disrespects you in some way, disappears for days with no contact etc THEN you'd have good reason to worry. But the fact is, he went out, he texted you a lovely message then went to sleep.

Sometimes you have to pick your battles in a relationship. This is one you don't want to get caught up in.

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

I don't think you have much to worry about. Sounds like he just had a good night playing video games with his friend. I think all couples need time to be apart. Doesn't have to be for a long time, but even just a night out with friends. There is no reason to get mad about this, unless he has been acting odd for a while now.

Seems to me like he just got so wrapped up playing video games that he forgot to text you. You two are around each other all the time, at least that is what I got from what you said. You two live with each other, doesn't mean you can't go out with friends and stay over at their houses. Sure it sounds like something kids would do, but adults stay over at friends houses all the time. I don't think they were doing anything wrong.

Just tell him that next time you would like him to text you more. Other than that, I don't think he did anything wrong. I wouldn't get mad at him for that, he probably doesn't even realize that you were feeling ignored. And I'm sure once you tell him he will feel bad about it.

justanotherguy00001 · Accepted Answer

It's true what these people are saying, us guys like to every now & then bum out at a friends house and play video games all night. By 2am we're usually making stupid, retarded jokes and laughing our head off about it (cause we're so tired) and just generally blowing off steam.

The worst thing couples can do is force themselves to devote EVERYTHING to each other.

Please. The best part of relationships is when you're not together (physically, not emotionally), then go do something fun and then get to share that with your significant whoever :)

It keeps the mystery & fire alive. Much more so then when you share everything. How boring!

Here's some advice, go out with some friends, go do something fun, get a clear head :)

It'll make you 5x more sexy to him. Or if you guys don't trust each other, it'll push you two apart.

Both are good, as you want both results.

Unless you enjoy being in a untrusting relationship or something..

iXenomorph · Accepted Answer

Women... women will never understand THE SKYRIM.

Can't you just get off his back? He has a world to save. Dragons are going to destroy Tamriel and you're worrying he's cheating on you? He has to master the dragon tongue, destroy Alduin, protect Tamriel, stop the Aldmeri dominion, astral project himself backwards in time to retrieve an elder scroll (after finding it first), satisfy the daedric lords, conduct missions for the Dark Brotherhood, join the Thief's guild in riften, take over Winterhold, and THIS is how you repay him?

By Sithis, this is ridiculous!

147703 · Answer

I honestly think he probably just wanted to chill with his friend. Don't take it personally.. If you guys were having some issues the BEST thing for you to do.. is to be cool about it :) be happy to see him, and ask how his night went, be really happy that he got to chill with his friend, and he'll honestly love you for it.. if you make a big scene the chance is.. he's going to feel like you ruined his good night you know? so be the cool girlfriend :) and be happy to see him when he gets home. have a small surprise for him when you see him next or something like that.. he'll appreciate you a lot more if you act that way. :) just breathe, and good luck!

branmcc1220 · Answer

He just wanted to hangout with his friend for a night, there's absolutely no reason at all to get so worked up over nothing. The fact that you both have lived with each other for 2 years means absolutely nothing at all to this problem, there's nothing wrong at all spending a night with your friend, as much as you are his girlfriend he has other friends of his as well that he likes being with and spending time with and having fun

Minus · Answer

You couldn't just give him one day to his friends out of two years without getting upset?

He let you know and said he loved you and you wouldn't even reciprocate that?

You said you 'were' doing great until this happened, so does this change how you feel about your relationship?

Given you said you were doing great, it probably wasn't to 'save' the relationship or just to be away from you... He is probably just a human who hasn't had a chill night with his buddy in two years and decided it was about f***ing time.

How should you act when he gets home? Pleasant and understanding would probably be great to get from you. To know he doesn't get a guilt trip for seperating from his conjoined twin for one night out of two years would be refreshing.

Lights · Answer

Can you not be away from him for a day without freaking out or thinking he's up to something ? I don't see this as a big deal at ALL to be honest. Sometimes people need time alone and some space to themselves.. I know I would even if it was my boyfriend.

He even texted you to let you know, I'd cut him some slack. Just let it go you don't want it to look like you don't trust him might cause more problems. imo it's up to you though, you know him better than we do - but from what you said I wouldn't worry!

ashleynatasha · Answer

Was there drinking envolved if not...I think it's inappropriate but I think if you don't like it then that's that! if it makes you feel uncomfortable talk to him about it..some people don't like certain things .would he mind if you did it?I don't think it's so much a trust issue but a respect thing.I feel you guys share a bed you both should sleep in your guyses bed. you where kinda out casted why didn't you go? His friend has a girl you could have hung with. It's not like you told him he couldn't go you just wanted him to be home at an appropriate time.

sef0181 · Answer

I would say don't worry. There's times where driving is dangerous (lack of sleep, alcohol, etc). And I know lots of guys who only want to play skyrim for hours on end until they fall asleep. And to be honest, it is a really awesome game. Just don't freak out about it. When he gets home ask him if he had a good time, and tell him you're glad he had fun but that you missed him. (Don't say this in a whiney voice, but maybe in a flirty I missed having you in my bed way). If you make it negative, he'll think of you as the negative that ruined his evening. Stay positive and you're the positive that he likes to come home to.

6Paul11 · Answer

Let it go. Don't let one night of male fun ruin two years of good behavior. He's been all yours for two years! Give him a break.

When you see him, tell him that you are sad that he left you that night. Tell him that you understand that he needs his guy time, and that you would appreciate it if he spoke with you about it first.

xBurningSilence · Answer

Your over reacting. I have skyrim nights with my buddies all the time. He might need a break and he might not, don't over think it. You are being a little clingy but that's not always a bad thing. Just don't be pissed at him for staying at a friends place. He's most likely trying to reconnect with his old friends as it sounds like you have both devoted your time to only each other which isn't very healthy.

Katyperry · Answer

skyrim is a cool game... I play that all the time, but then I feel you gurl, all I can say is TRUST is the best way of all, just don't let your neg-thoughts ruin your mind, just be calm its just a matter of give and take... GODBLESS I know it will work out just tell him about your feelings... :))

anony84 · Answer

It's really not a big deal. Just because you two live together doesn't mean he is obligated from here on out to always sleep at home. Sometimes it's nice just to spend time with a friend or to get out of a house. There is nothing you have mentioned that even remotely indicates that anything is bad plus he even took the time to message you before going to sleep.

You need to start trusting him and stop overreacting. There is nothing to be confused or worried about. So just act normal.

Anonymous · Answer

What, are you picturing like a crazy party with strippers or something?  Kind of like out of a beer commercial?  Because that doesn't happen in real life.  Well, not much anyway. . .

SandyDandy · Answer

The best thing you could do is act normal and trust him if you act all worked up over something you're assuming and he didn't do anything bad that would just be stupid. My boyfriend plays Skyrim a lot of guys are really into it and could spend countless hours playing it. He just probably wanted to have a little time for himself and his friend not because he doesn't love you but everyone needs a break every once in a while. Trust and communication is the key, if you really want to know what happened just act nice with him say you missed him last night and ask him how his night was ect. But don't be all mad act normal and most likely it was just your head overthinking things. Goodluck

AmberChick · Answer

I don't know why your boyfriend stayed at his friends house that night, but have you ever found a reason not to trust him? If you trust him then you should know he's not out doing anything bad.  And he did text you so he obviously was thinking about you. But if you really want to know just ask him.

Yeahhbro · Answer

I don't get it so are you afraid he was having gay bum sex with his buddy? lol I don't even klnow why you are being so paranoid about.

Xx_DRE_xX · Answer

Your so damn clingy, I see why he needs a break from you.

DJLeftFoot · Answer

Don't worry yo! The 3 of them are just going to kick it at a strip club.

GymStatus · Answer

Male slumber party... Skyrim is not really a slumber party game to spend the night lol. Madden is a different story...

Anonymous · Answer

I think you're overreacting and are prone to be the controlling type

Boyfriend that I live with stayed the night at a friend's house last night for the first time in three years?

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