I can't ever express my feelings without my girlfriend getting upset with me...

[horsey]

I feel communication is important in relationships, so when there is something on my mind, I think about it, and if I feel I should let my girlfriend know, I tell her. For example, "i do not understand why you do this ______, and it hurts my feelings because ______" I don't raise my voice or anything, and am very relaxed. She gets so defensive as if I was saying "you are a terrible person and I hate you, etc. etc." starts crying runs away, and doesn't talk to me. I am left trying to apologize to her even though I was trying to express something that she has done that has upset me... all I ever want is an explaination or an apology!

[Anonymous]

I had a boyfriend the same extact way. If I told him, calmly and level-headedly, that something he did hurt my feelings, he would blow up at me and say things like, "why are you trying to make me seem like an oppressive monster?!?!?! I've done nothing wrong to, you're the one who's been trying to make me seem like an abusive prick when I'm nothing but good to you!" and completely overract, even though I was the one sitting up all night worried and afraid that he'd stopped talking to me, or that he was mad at me for something. When I'd try to simply ask him if I'd done anything to upset him, he'd go off the deep end. In hindsight, I feel like he was actually being very emotionally abusive and manipulative toward me because of some problems he'd had in his life growing up. When people get that psychotic, I find it better to just purge them from my life, you can't rationalize with them. I do hope you find your solution though, and let me know about it!

[Freetobe007]

Sounds like she is way too sensitive and she needs to get it together because it's really annoying to deal with people like that. I think she's just over sensitive and she doesn't like to be criticized. Tell her to get thicker skin and stop acting like she has the emotional capacity of a three year old every time you bring up an issue in a respectful, calm manner.

Sorry, but you just need to be blunt with her. You guys are adults; you shouldn't have to worry about babying her so that she doesn't have a dramatic crying outburst over nothing.

[SmithsGirl]

Well I see you have a really emotional girlfriend, maybe the way you tell her the things that upset you is too harsh. You mentioned telling her the things relaxed but the thing is that the truth hurts either way you put it. Like you said communication is important, make her know that, there might be things she wants to say too... But most important of all, always show that you care about her a lot, even when she has those emotional attacks. Good luck!

[humble_bee]

Find a good time to discuss things with her...when she is ready to listen to you. good luck.