My girlfriend breaks up with me everytime we argue because she can't control her emotions because of her mental problems?

[Anonymous]

She has severe depression and she's bipolar. Every time we argue she breaks up with me and says things to me I can't handle sometimes. After we break up or after the argument she apologizes and says that it was because of her mental illnesses. I love her a lot but every time we break up I always feel like it's going to be the last time talking to her and it's taking a toll on me mentally. It's gotten to a point where I don't know if she's coming back anymore and I don't even cry that she's leaving me. I hurt her a lot but not on purpose, she's really sensitive and overthinks a lot. She cuts herself sometimes when I hurt her even though I'm there for her. I hate seeing her hurt, mentally and physically, I often think to myself that leaving her is the best option to be happy but she says she can't be happy without me and it leaves me thinking whether or not I should leaver her. We've been together for almost 3 years and it's been like this since after the first year. What should I do?

[Keyboardkat]

As you can see, being in a relationship with a bipolar person is no picnic! It sounds to me as though she has never been treated for this. Simple medication would relieve her mood swings. The problem would be A) getting her to acknowledge that she has a serious problem and needs medical treatment, and there's no shame in that, and, B) once she is in treatment, to reliably take her meds every day. Sometimes when bipolars are in the manic phase, they feel energized, "up," and feel, "I don't need this med." That way lies trouble. One of my ex girlfriends has this issue. You unfortunately cannot "fix" her. You cannot be her therapist, her physician, her nursemaid. And you cannot allow her to make you responsible for her happiness! This is an overwhelming burden for you to be under! I know you love her. People like this can be EXTREMELY affectionate and seductive. But it's like getting stuck in a jar of honey. You can't get out and you will eventually drown. You need to take care of yourself, too. It's like hitting yourself on the head with a hammer repeatedly. It feels SO good when you stop! I think you need to distance yourself from her, difficult though that will be, because she will blame you for "abandoning" her and therefore being responsible for all her problems. You are NOT responsible for all her problems and you CANNOT be responsible for her happiness! THIS GIRL NEEDS A DOCTOR! SHE IS ILL!

[ChrisMaster69]

If she is not already she needs to go to counselling.

Then you both need to attend ideally same counsellor for a couples therapy session or two.

if the above is not possible or does not work, then you need to look at a clean break and she still needs to go for counselling.

I would also consider some for yourself, as this type of relationship can be hard on someone.

is she on medication? Does she take it? Has she had counselling in the past? is she having it now?

[maddie2003]

This is hard because I'm in a similar situation as her, but it is also not a healthy relationship. She needs to help herself before entering a relationship. I would suggest splitting up and, possibly, getting back together after a year if you two are doing better.

Personally, I've been single for nearly a year. I'm taking the time to become a better person so that I can be prepared for a commitment when the right person comes along. Assuming that she is also an adult, she can take responsibility for herself as well.

[Asker]

If we were to split up should we stay in contact or completely cut all ties until we think we're ready?

[maddie2003]

Probably cut all ties. With a question like that, it sounds like you're holding on to the hope that you two will get back together. I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That doesn't sound like a healthy situation for either of you. Does she get medical care or counseling for her issues?
Sounds like you both need to be in a better place before being in a relationship

[Asker]

She does not

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

She should, especially if she cuts herself

[Anonymous]

I have bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, ptsd but I changed most of my ways before the meds though. I even attended therapy for help. I had to see that I wanted better for myself. It’s not our place in life to judge others. GOD didn’t make us all the same. Some people still suffer internally and never realize how bad they hurting even with their actions. This is how they so use to coping

[Anonymous]

Dump her and move on before you have a kid with her. Then your stuck with the crazy bitch for the next 20 years.

My ex wife, perfect example. Bat shit crazy, broke up with her in the 90s. But because we had a kid.

I had to wait for the bitch to die before she would stay out of my life.

No, I did not kill her, She died from a bad heart. She died last month.

[maddie2003]

It's ridiculous how many grown-ass women can't take responsibility for themselves

[slatyb]

You should end this torture so you can meet someone capable of being a partner. Even if you love her, you can't stay with her in this condition.

[Anonymous]

She sensitive they make good mates if they learn how to control that they make passionate warm great ones too.