Girlfriend wants to break up after every argument?

[Anonymous]

Everytime when we argue my girlfriend wants to break up with me, I love her a lot, but i cannot take this emotional roller-coaster anymore, its becoming a burden for my heart. She said "I am sorry for everything, It's not that I don't want to apologize to you for the things I've done, I don't want to argue anymore, but if you not going to care when I cry, die or am hurt, you don't need to care anymore, I am hurt, I will shoulder it on my own, I wish you happiness, bye". She even threatened to kill herself, No matter how many times I said I love her, care for her and even show it, she still keeps saying that I don't care, her behavior is becoming repetitive. i am getting sick and tired of this, should I just move on?

[Anonymous]

This is manipulative BS is to make you behave the way she wants you to behave. She needs constant reassurance that you care about her and love her etc. and that's why you get all this BS.

You need to speak to her and tell her exactly how you feel so that she understands what it does to you. Everything is about her and what she needs. It appears to me that your feelings are being ignored. You can't stay in a relationship where your girlfriend is threatening stuff and making you stay out of fear that she will carry out said threat. She is an emotional high maintenance girl which is probably due to her past. You two need to communicate your feelings, tell her that this is not an argument but a discussion and lay it all out so you can move forward. She won't change her behaviour if you keep going back to her.

[Asker]

I have tried to sit her down, and discuss things with her but she thinks that I want to argue, she promised me that she would change, but she hasn't .

[Opinion Owner]

That's a shame. In that case you will need to show her physically. If you try and talk to her and it turns into an argument, then you need to get up and physically walk away & not engage any further and tell her you won't be talking again until she calms down and realises it's a discussion we're having and not an argument. The cycle won't change until both of your behaviours change so take the bull by the horns and start first. If that doesn't work, then I hate to say it, but the easiest thing would be to walk away. This must be exhausting.

[Asker]

After I was going really break up with her I gave her a call, and she wanted me to apologize to her first for making her sad, so I did, but there were still a lot of things that she did and didn't even apologize to me properly, I said that I want to discuss our problems not argue about them voice to voice not text to text, I also told her that she does not understand in a relationship there must be proper communication, we can't text all the time like robots because its informal and does not feel right. So then I talked to her why she is being like this, does she really love or even care about me? she said she does love me and care but when she gets really angry she doesn't care what I or others say about her and does not care if she walks away from me afterwards, I also told her I came on here for advice, and told her a lot of people say that her behavior is unacceptable and does not show she actually love or even care. Should I stay or should I walk away?

[Opinion Owner]

At least you appear to be making some progress here.

Only you can decide whether to stay or go but ask yourself what you are getting out of this relationship? Does it meet your needs? Do you feel fulfilled as much as you can in it?

If your GF loses the plot when she gets angry, it may something that you just have to deal with. If she doesn't care about walking away when she's angry, then to me she has the ability to let go of things easily. Sadly the shock of you leaving may be what she needs to make her realise what she has. I don't think she understands what she's doing to you both because it's always about her. in my opinion your GF is immature and selfish but you have to balance that out with what good she does for you. She says that she doesn't care what you or others think but in reality, the opposite is true - she is too concerned with looking like she is in control to realise that sometimes being vulnerable is actually the key to meeting someone halfway.

[Asker]

Hey sorry for the late reply, but I just broke up with her 3 days ago, yes I know it was late, but I was being patient enough to see how she was, but then there was another problem again and she said "Fine if I'm bothering you, I won't brother you again, tonight also" and I replied with "When did I say that you were bothering or annoying me? this is why when I try my best to talk things out with you, you keep on acting this way. Why? okay then if you really don't want to sort things out then fine I don't think I can stand anymore of your behavior", after that the next 2 days, she deleted our photos that weve taken together and hidden her friends from me, so I sent her a text "Why are you doing this?", she saw it but she did not reply, so I texted her again the next day, still no reply and called her and no answer, so i texted her that Im breaking up with her, deleted and blocked her on social network. Should I be patient and wait until she realize what she's lost? and com looking for m

[Yeatts]

Yes you need to move on.

Whether she realizes it or not she is manipulating you. This is not a healthy relationship for you or her and it will not improve. She needs to sort out her issues before being involved in a relationship.

The sooner you break up the better. When you do break up with her she will try manipulating you again by saying those things she said before do not listen to her and ignore her completely! Otherwise you are just encouraging her to act like that.

[Yeatts]

Honestly if I am right it sounds like she has BPD and hasn't been treated for it.

With someone with BPD at times it's like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum. The more you give in to them the worse it will get.

The only way this can change and you two still be together is you need to put your foot down. You need to lay down the boundaries and explain the consequences of crossing those boundaries. When she does cross a boundary you then need to enforce your rules. You need to use tough love. No matter how she responds you NEED to stick to your guns.

[Khaleesi89]

Break up with her. She says those things to grab your attention but in a wrong way. She isn't right for you and this doesn't sound normal to me. This sounds very toxic and the longer you stay the longer it will hurt you. Don't worry about what she says because she knows if she says those things you will fall for it, this time don't, keep your head up and move forward.

[Asker]

After I was going really break up with her I gave her a call, and she wanted me to apologize to her first for making her sad, so I did, but there were still a lot of things that she did and didn't even apologize to me properly, I said that I want to discuss our problems not argue about them voice to voice not text to text, I also told her that she does not understand in a relationship there must be proper communication, we can't text all the time like robots because its informal and does not feel right. So then I talked to her why she is being like this, does she really love or even care about me? she said she does love me and care but when she gets really angry she doesn't care what I or others say about her and does not care if she walks away from me afterwards, I also told her I came on here for advice, and told her a lot of people say that her behavior is unacceptable and does not show she actually love or even care. Should I stay or should I walk away?

[Khaleesi89]

It's up to you at the end of the day. I wouldn't bother having this chick in my life if I was you, however I am not you. If she cares she will make changes, if she doesn't she will continue down this road. Just try and champ it out a little to see what her behavior is like and if nothings changed then end it. Don't settle for someone because you're comfortable with them, be with someone you can picture yourself being with forever and always. Just remember that you come first and if you can't see her in your future of marriage/ children then end it.

[Asker]

Hey sorry for the late reply, but I just broke up with her 3 days ago, yes I know it was late, but I was being patient enough to see how she was, but then there was another problem again and she said "Fine if I'm bothering you, I won't brother you again, tonight also" and I replied with "When did I say that you were bothering or annoying me? this is why when I try my best to talk things out with you, you keep on acting this way. Why? okay then if you really don't want to sort things out then fine I don't think I can stand anymore of your behavior", after that the next 2 days, she deleted our photos that weve taken together and hidden her friends from me, so I sent her a text "Why are you doing this?", she saw it but she did not reply, so I texted her again the next day, still no reply and called her and no answer, so i texted her that Im breaking up with her, deleted and blocked her on social network. Should I be patient and wait until she realize what she's lost? and com looking for me?

[Khaleesi89]

Don't wait for her. You're done with her, she wasn't good to you. Remember why you broke up, live your life happy and let her know you're a happy person that's moved on. She won't change because if she really wanted to be with you she would've changed how her attitude was. Just keep reminding yourself why you broke up with her and realize you are now single and free to do things that you've wanted to do for a while (go on vacation with friends, play a sport etc). You now can do whatever you want and not have someone on you and making you feel guilty for it all the time you know. Be happy, think positive.

[ButterSauce]

Just let her go. My ex did that to me. It sucks and all I could do at the end of the day was respect his wish to break up for my own sake. Its not worth your time to make someone stick around if they so unsure. It will only make you sick... literally.

[Asker]

After I was going really break up with her I gave her a call, and she wanted me to apologize to her first for making her sad, so I did, but there were still a lot of things that she did and didn't even apologize to me properly, I said that I want to discuss our problems not argue about them voice to voice not text to text, I also told her that she does not understand in a relationship there must be proper communication, we can't text all the time like robots because its informal and does not feel right. So then I talked to her why she is being like this, does she really love or even care about me? she said she does love me and care but when she gets really angry she doesn't care what I or others say about her and does not care if she walks away from me afterwards, I also told her I came on here for advice, and told her a lot of people say that her behavior is unacceptable and does not show she actually love or even care. Should I stay or should I walk away?

[ButterSauce]

You should keep walking away, she's being rude

[mithramitzmittu]

you guys need to sit down and have a proper talk about everything that's been in inside your head. Something is going on with her that she's not comfortable talking about, try to break that guard and see what's up?

[Asker]

I have already tried that, sitting her down and discussing things like an adult does not work out with her.

[mithramitzmittu]

Then It's just best to give her what she wants, BREAK UP with her. Maybe she'd realize what she had.

[rambox1]

i've been facing the same situation just like you bro... I don't know whether I did right or wrong but the only thing I know is she wanted to breakup with me...
I wanna ask you are you out of that situation or still with the same girl?
If you're out, do you feel any guilt to take that decision?
do reply man

[kheserthorpe]

You should probably break up. You're enabling her behaviour and probably don't have the temperament to straighten her out.

[NheSica]

Man, I'm a girl but this girl is making your life complicated. Why don't the two of you just take a break? Give her what she wants and see if it's what you both really want. If she's not making you happy or making you grow, it's the best thing.

[Asker]

Taking a break is not an option, its either stay or go, I don't want to be strung up like a doll for her to keep playing.

[Menarecrooks]

she is such a drama queen. she could move on if she find someone else to do it. Praise her a lot like you are good at acting, or you should be a model or you can be a star constantly boost her self esteem. then she will find someone crazier than her.

[Anonymous]

Start talking to each other more... you have to start listening to what she says and she has to start listening to... or... You two need to spend more time together.

[Anonymous]

Oh wow, she must have seriously low self confidence. I think if her behaviour is making you suffer, you should break up with her.

[JackPack]

She sounds manipulative

[sp33d]

It's a mad mad mad mad world. :/

[oleg_oleg]

she does it to fill her worth