Girlfriend threatening to break up with me after a big fight, what do I do?

[Anonymous]

So myself (31) and my girlfriend (30) live together and we generally get on great and are very much in love with one another.

However I have very bad anxiety when it comes to other guys texting her as I was badly cheated on in the past. A guy friend of hers text her the other day and when his name popped up I lost it and went into a very bad mood. I explained to her how this made me feel and she said that I don't trust her, I explained that I do trust her and it's males that I don't trust.

We made up after that last night and then today she would barely talk to me all day. I became very agitated and upset and explained that I was sorry and I didn't mean to hurt her this way. She then said that she wasn't sure if she wanted a relationship any more and refused to hear me out any more.

Then as the evening went on she said I am on my last chance and again when I said can we please talk about things she went to bed angry. I don't know what to do here.. Is she done with me?

Also I did become mad in the past when male friends would text her, she knows I get paranoid about this but this time it's like she is sick of it all?

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you have anxiety about your girlfriend receiving texts from male friends, given your past experiences with being cheated on. However, it's important to communicate your concerns in a constructive and respectful way, rather than becoming angry or upset.

It sounds like your girlfriend may be feeling frustrated and hurt by your behavior, and may be questioning whether she wants to continue the relationship. It's important to listen to her concerns and to try to understand her perspective, even if it's difficult to hear.

It may be helpful to have a calm and honest conversation with your girlfriend about your feelings and concerns. Apologize for your behavior and reassure her that you trust her and want to work on building a healthier and more trusting relationship. Ask her to share her own feelings and concerns, and try to listen without becoming defensive or dismissive.

It's important to remember that relationships require effort and communication from both partners. If you both are willing to work on building a stronger and more trusting relationship, it's possible to overcome this hurdle. However, if your girlfriend is truly done with the relationship, it's important to respect her decision and to focus on your own healing and growth.

[Hulk_kitty]

Sorry pal, but you can't be in relationship with someone if you don't trust them, just cause she is talking to guys doesn't mean she is cheating.

You shouldn't be worrying if she is cheating on you, because you can't do anything about it. What you can do about if she definitely cheated on you, then move on from her.

But you can't prevent someone cheating on you, that's absolutely impossible to do. You are pushing your partner away, you are almost creating your reality of her leaving you anyway, and she dumps you instead.

This type of behaviour from you or anyone, is actually toxic and controlling behaviour. If you don't trust your girlfriend having guy friends or talking guys, then you shouldn't be with her, and maybe you will struggle to keep girls going fowards.

I suggest you sort out your trust issues asap, before you lose a good women. Go and seek professional help, is best suggestion.

[Hulk_kitty]

And you being cheated on the past, is not your current girlfriends problem pal, that's your problem to deal with.
If I had a girlfriend like you, emotional baggage, worried about me cheating on her, she would be gone out the door. Your past in not my problem. Its your baggage, you deal with it.

[Hulk_kitty]

look at like this, there are so manys a girl can cheat on you. The only real way to prevent someone cheating on you, is chain them up to you, or lock them in their bedroom forever, but you can't do that. Sorry pal, but you have really no chance of preventing any girlfriend cheating on you, you are fighing a losing battle there.

[jennifer_bloom]

It’s not a question of why you got angry but how you behave and treat people when you get angry. Refusing to smile or hug is acceptable but hitting and insults and yelling is not acceptable. If you want a girl, you have to respect her rights more than you respect her loyalty to you and if you cannot do that, then you need a personality make over and she needs to end the relationship. Good behaviour is the long term solution to getting a happy relationship, cruelty is a short term bandage that doesn’t work forever.

[Hulk_kitty]

Good answer, but his past, is not his current girlfriends problem. If he can't trust women in general, cause he was cheated on, then he shouldn't be in a relationship with women full stop, until he sort out his issues out. Cause now, he is just being controlling. His past, is not his future girlfriends problem.

[NotTacocaT6969]

You’re insecure and allowing those feelings to make you controlling.


You have to trust her not to cheat on you and to talk to whoever she wants or else the relationship will fail.


My ex was like you described.


Know how many of the men he was jealous of I have had sex with since I broke up with him?


None.


He ruined our relationship for no reason other than his imagination,

[ColHathi]

Sounds like she might be sick of it, yeah. That would be my guess based on what you wrote. It doesn't sound like you are okay with her having guy friends, and I can understand why that too would be a dealbreaker.

Can I just say, it doesn't sound like you trust her. If you trust her, what does it matter what her guy friends do?

[noohair]

What I have found out is that when the woman says it is over, it was over.
I don't want to be around someone that does not want to be around me.

[KrakenAttackin]

She is cheating and is projecting into you to manipulate you. Do t stand for this, get rid of her.

[KrakenAttackin]

Don't stand for this

[Softlife808]

You need therapy. I don't know why you're in a relationship this is ridiculous

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Breakup with her instead!

[Iron_Man]

You guys have to work it out

[NostalgiaSenpi]

End it!