What are some signs of a guy being scared of falling in love?

[Anonymous]

So I have talked to guys who text and flirt for months but don't ask a girl out on a date right away. What can make a guy fear dating? What signs show a guy having too much of a pride to fall in love?

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Well, if he has a penis, That's a pretty good sign he might be afraid of falling in love. Just kidding.

OK I'll be serious now and answer your questions properly. As for a guy fearing dating, it's a lot of the same things I hear from girls. Sometimes it's the feeling of being tied down. Some guys prefer variety. Some guys fear commitment, like it means responsibility, and they're not ready to face that.

Some guys are afraid to date for opposite reasons. Like he's afraid of putting himself out there and getting rejected. Some guys are not afraid of the rejection itself, but rather afraid of it being the wrong girl, because either A: someone else might come along, and he'd be trapped or things will get complicated or something, or B: he invests emotionally, and she rips his heart out, or C: she's just a gigantic slut who will use him like a cheap condom, and throw him away right after.

Both men and women feel this way about dating, commitment, or falling in love. I've heard both sides saying it. It's not always about pride. For the first group... the jackasses, it's more about being selfish or childish, or a fear of growing up. At least by my guess. Sure some of it is vanity. Some of it is pride. But I don't think it all is. But again, I'm just guessing. For the second group, it's more about vulnerability, and the fear of being hurt. Or for those who have been hurt before, an extreme distaste to ever wanna experience that particular KIND of pain again. Because sometimes, falling in love is scary. Sometimes it just sucks. Especially if the other party doesn't feel the same way.

Signs? Don't know. But I figured I'd leave this here as another possible viewpoint. Food for thought as it were. If you bother to think about it later, and wonder if someone is afraid, or just vain and prideful, also ask if what you see is a front. Things are seldom clearcut or there in the black and white.

[Asker]

Thid is very true, I see some possible answers to his actions here. Can I give you a small summary of my situation so I can be moresure of what might be the exact situation I'm in?

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Well you can try. I'll make no guarantees though, but it could help.

[Asker]

Thanks, OK so I knew this guy from high school, its been about 3yrs I have not seen him. 9months ago he started texting me, he found me on Facebook, asked for my # and he texted everyday. After a month of texting he admitted he had a crush on.me in high school, then he told me he was interested in me. We texted for another 3months then I began to ask what he wanted from me, he said he liked how I was and wanted to eventually date and see where that went. 7months of texting and for the 4th time I

[Asker]

asked him, to be honest with me, what did he want? He kept saying he was busy with work, school etc and promised to take me out in.summer. Summer came, he asked me out, I agreed but we didn't exactly set a precise date and the days passed and he texted as if we never planned a date =( I began replying.less, he started texting more so.then I.gave in and poured my feelings out, he said he would be able to go.out on.Saturday, again we texted and the day passed and nothing happened. Long story short,

[Asker]

he told me he jyst hasn't had time on.his hands, but is truly interested and wants me to wait for him. But tgen.out of nowhere he stopped texting me and he would text at least 4 times a week. He had just poured out his feelings after I encouraged him and 2days later he stops communication =\

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Yeah it sounds like he's afraid of getting into things. as far as you know, has he dated anyone else in these last 9 months?

[Asker]

That I know of, he has not dated in the past 9months, he has told me about girls he dated and an ex. He said his ex and him ended the relationship because he didn't have time. I'm guessing he is afraid of moving to the next step

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Sounds like you got your answer. Sounds plausible as any.

[Asker]

yea, well thanks so much for your help, I appreciate it! :)

[HardAppleCider]

Is he male? If so, he probably is afraid of falling in love. Or maybe that's if he's human. I can't remember.

But, what you want to know is when can you tell that a man simply will not allow himself to fall in love "with you right now or any time soon" am I right?

[Asker]

Yes, he is male, I want to know why he won't allow himself to fall in love, we been talking for months, he made plans for a date and then avoided it but kept saying he is interested. I.just want.him to be honest.

[HardAppleCider]

:) He might just be really shy. Or, maybe he just doesn't want to date (either you or in general).

You might try asking him? Try being straight forward. That's usually the best way to interact with a man is to be straight forward.

[Asker]

I have been.straight fwd, he has told me to wait for him because he has no time on.his hands. He was a shy.guy too, but mysterious

[HardAppleCider]

Ahh. Screw that. I've been in his situation before, in that I've been so busy I didn't have time to think about women and dating, but he's a jerk for telling you to wait for him.

Screw that. My advice is to move on.

[Asker]

I see, I feel good tho, because I told him he was being.unfair by asking.me to wait, I told him that I also get asked out by other guys and that he shouldn't rely on me waiting.because I might not be available when he decides to make a.move, he then told me he woukd hate seeing.me with a guy and our talking for months going to waste. So he said he was going to take me out as soon as he settled in with both job schedules he had. But I guess he won't make the time.

[ashleynatasha]

i think if a man doesn't feel safe or sicure they won't fall in love Men are just as insecure as women are they haved to feel they can confide in you!it instinctive..they protect themselves plus a lot of men can't define there emotions like females can

[Asker]

What if the female does let the guy know she is interested

[ashleynatasha]

they still haved to feel safe no matter what maybe they don't for past reasons!or they have a lot of fear iv ben there :/ life is about chances and they seem like they don't want to risk it!

[Konnour]

I don't think such people may even show their interest in the first place, and especially not flirting.

Probably what you're dealing with are people with commitment issues, that's not one and the same.

[Asker]

You think there's a way to help with those commitment issues?

[Konnour]

Of course not, it's them - not you.

[Asker]

I see =\ I guess some people just need time to themselves since they are not ready for relationships

[Konnour]

Some never are.

[NonchalantBro]

Fear of intimacy?

[Asker]

Hahaha, no, fear of risking feelings, maybe

[Anonymous]

Good question.