What is your opinion on 'taken in hand relationships'

[Anonymous]

I don't know if this is a common term.

This site explains it: link

There are lots of mixed feelings on this. I think 'taken in hand' is more of a scale, where you can have it a little bit in your relationship, to a lot, and some things may not appeal to you, while some other things do.

To be honest, this does appeal to me.

[Malcom_Reynolds]

Personally, I don't think they should be the norm, but there's nothing wrong with them. It sounds like the very traditional idea of what a marriage should be.

My view of a relationship is that it should be a partnership and there's nothing wrong with the dynamic described, as long both are happy with it.

I could see myself being happy in that kind of relationship, but I do not see myself in one. The reason I don't see myself in one is I put too much emphasis on equality. And because of that, it's not something I'd try to turn the relationship into.

Then why could I see myself happy in that kind of relationship? Let's look at the aspects of it:

Sexual Exclusivity: I think that's the norm already. While I think I could handle an open relationship (never tested that theory), I'm already assuming exclusivity and appreciate its appeal.

Being actively in charge: I do feel the need to include her in all decisions, but if she wants me to make the decisions cause she doesn't care, I'm OK with that. I can make decisions, and if she's OK with me just doing it without her, that's not me being left out.

Putting her first: I'd already do that, for the most part. Let me explain:

Firstly it's technically not true as there is one thing that I would put ahead of her: that's when I have kids. I don't have any yet, but I do plan on it some day, and I can honestly say that when it happens, they will come first, even over her. But I don't think that really goes against the relationship described.

The second thing is, there's always some give and take in all relationships. In general I will put her ahead of my career. When it comes to things like spending time with her and which one is more important. That being said, I've been working towards someday being an astronaut candidate. I realize it'll likely never happen but still. I have to say that if I ever got offered to go into space, and she said don't because she's worried about the rocket blowing up. Yeah, I wouldn't listen, of course I'd also know that rocket inside and out. But for the most part I'd put her first. Things like being offered a job that requires relocation and such, she gets a say in and would likely have veto power.

Honouring and respecting each other: Yeah, that goes without saying.

Her being submissive but not thinking she is: If she's happy with that relationship dynamic then it's not negatively affecting me in any way.

In conclusion, I would never want to be in the wife's position in that kind of relationship, and because of that, wouldn't expect her to take that position. But being the husband in that kind of relationship, I'd be content with that.

[Anonymous]

It appeals to me and I've been in one before with a very smart, beautiful and submissive woman who trusted me to lead the relationship in a fair manner. I liked the idea of being someone she could look to to overwhelm her physically and emotionally, and in turn, she responded back with that same sort of love in a good feminine energy.

[TPAgrl89]

I think that it could work... quite frankly if a relationship is a GOOD relationship than I think a lot of this applies anyway. A husband SHOULD put his wife & their relationship first, and a wife should reciprocate. There should be NO cheating.. there's just no reason for it. Husband's and wives should be able to talk through their problems, and have open lines for communication.. I guess I wouldn't ALWAYS be able to give in to my husband, but if he were putting my thoughts/feelings FIRST than it would never come to that, right?

I'd never heard this term before. Very interesting question.

[OfAfricandescent]

It could work, if the people are on the same page. Not sure how many people would support this in modern society. What you said would probably suit most people. Have a scale, where there can be a little or a lot.

[HandsomeRaj]

I'd take it more as a lifestyle and culture than a scale.

Any culture or lifestyle is the best of both the partners are upto it.

If you are in for this then you should follow it and find someone who thinks the way you do.

[antonlikesmlb]

It's a good type of relationship.