Hi! So here is the truth: astrology is really based on someone's entire birthchart and on their North Node, which is the learning lesson in this lifetime. You could have a Virgo who is learning Aries and they will be way more suble and cautious because their natural nature is Air. But if a Virgo is learning Gemini for example or Aquarius, they will be more impulsive because their natural energy is fire. So your first step is to do their birthchart. The themes of Virgo are simplicity, purity, cautious and detail oriented, so yes, most Virgos are shy. Again, everything else in the chart can change this energy. It sounds to be what you are dealing with is someone who has strong LIBRA in their chart with the Virgo energy. Libra's are indecisive and have a hard time making up their mind and don't like conflict, but once they do make up their mind, their cardinal energy kicks in and they take charge. Hope this helps!
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I'm a virgo girl, not quite the same, but still I can back that mentality up based on my experience. They are not likely to jump into something with anyone. But when they are in they tend to go all in so when they pick someone and deem them worthy, that's pretty much it.
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I do not think that it takes too long for virgo guys. I got asked out by one after knowing him for less than a week and we have been dating for the past 3 months. They do take it slow, but that is not always a bad thing.
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