Has anyone ever ended a long term relationship and regretted it?

[anythingbut]

Hi all, my girlfriend of 6 years left me, out of the blue, 3 weeks ago.

I wondered if any of you had ever done anything similar?

If so what happened, and did you end up regretting your decision?

How long did it take you to realize you had made a big mistake?

Thankyou all

Updates

+1 y

Thanks all for your responses. The main message I'm getting is that you didn't regret your decision because your relationship hd reached a bad place - with arguments etc


In my case though the relationship was great - close as hell, affectionbate caring and loving


She went through a 2 week period of work stress, and it just seemed to change her. She woke up Saturday (3 wks ago) and just said 'we're like friends now, it's over'. Then bang, that was it she cut me out. Impossible to understand

[Thanny]

Realise I had made a big mistake for wasting 6 years of my life, or realize I had let the best thing in world slip through my fingers?

The answer to my first question would be I would realize before she finished her sentence that she was going to leave me (I can be quick like that). The second answer , that I had made a big mistake, would be by counting how many nights sleep I had lost, how hard my heart was broken, how much I missed the sound of her voice, the touch of her, her perfume, her nuances, it would consume me for weeks, months, only for the wound to open again the next time I saw her, and even worse if I saw her with someone else. If you regret the parting then it takes the time it takes. Sadly there will be a lot of reminders. But if you feel that you want to socially mix again, that you can enjoy an evening out with your friends without being consumed with the past, then you are slowly allowing yourself to move on. If you know that you made a BIG mistake, then stop reading this crap and ring her!

[Ultima]

are you a guy?

[sockz]

I also left a guy after 6 years. The whole relationship was pretty awful but there were some good parts and things had been pretty bad for a long time.

The part where I regretted the decision happened prior to me leaving him. I spent about a good two months trying to work out what I was gonna do, how I would break it to him, whether I was making the right choice. I felt regret that things had not worked out, a lot of sadness, and fear about the future.

In the end I packed up my stuff, then got on a plane, and moved interstate. For ages I felt sad that I'd left my cat behind. I missed that cat more than anything in the world. Never once have I missed my ex though. If anything a newfound sense of freedom had me euphoric for a good 6-12mths.

I think the reason why I didn't go back or regret my decision is because I didn't leave a 6 year relationship on a whim, it was something I only did when I was 100% sure it was the best thing to do.

[vishna]

Yeah, we made a few huge mistakes and at the time I couldn't get over them.

I regret it when the melancholy blues hit but then I think about why I broke up with him and that eases the pain.

For me it's better to have moved on in pain than stay in a relationship with a guy who felt more for me than I did for him and that when in I bent my values.

[backspace]

Yes mine ended after 8 years. At the end we were fighting a lot and getting on each others nerves all the time. So we decided after a fight that this can't go on and that we needed to end it.

So we did gradually we pulled away from each other.

After a couple of months I realized that even though I've liked other women in the mean time I still miss her company on occasion and I think us breaking up was a mistake. I believe that we still could have worked things out but on the other hand I would like to be with other women.

It's a tough situation and if you ask me now what I would do in a given situation if I could be with her again I'd say probably yes but under different circumstances and I think that I'd like to see what a relationship with someone else looks like first.

[kheserthorpe]

Any LTR I ended, in retrospect I wish id ended way way sooner.

[RedSmartie]

Being 19, I've never been in a long term relationship. But I always somewhat regret breakups in the few weeks after I break off the relationship. Then eventually I realize that it never would have worked out and it's better to be single than to be with the wrong one. Usually breakups are for the best.

[Anonymous]

Well technically I left an ex of exactly 6 years too..however he was a complete prick deserved it and played the whole last year of the relationship around so I didn't even know if it was on or off ever and then I met the best man ever got married and I could give a F*** about the loser that f***ed up soooo... =] possible. I hope he regretted it, and through sources of outside I KNOWS he does ^.^ cheers.

[carinabina820]

No. I never had a relationship at all because of things like my last question happening over and over and over and over and over. At least you got to six years I'd kill for five minutes of knowing what that's like...

[desireesauco]

I had the same situation, I did not end up regretting my decision

and I think I that move made me happy, it gave me freedom and time for myself

coz my X was an ass. So breaking up with him is like a dream come true.

If a guy is such a pain leaving him would be the happiest thing

If a guy is the ideal one I would regret leaving him

No regrets for me

[Anonymous]

im actually debating leaving a 5 1/2 year relationship now and wondering the same thing if I will regret leaving.

as for your circumstance what happened to make her want to just leave like that was there a specific reason for example did one of you cheat on the other person, maybe she is not happy anymore? were you living together? have you been fighting? maybe she just needs time?

[anythingbut]

Hey, thankyou for the response. In short, no there were no issues: we hadn't been fighting and there was no cheating going on. For the entire 6 years we were incredibly happy and content - making plans to get a house and start a family at the beginning of 2014.

Before she left me we had an unusually distant 2 week period where she waa super stressed out with work pressure. Then randomly she told me that it was over, we had bevome more like friends and there would be no going back. Bang, gone

[Opinion Owner]

did she give a reason for why she left? or did she just leave and has she tried to contact you to give any further explanation? I know you must be wondering what in the world happened

[anythingbut]

hey, it was just out of the blue, it was crazy - there were no issues whatsoever. She just said that we had become more like friends and it was over. I obviously was distrought, and she could see this - so then refused to see or speak to me. I then decided the best thing to do was to delete her mobile number, block Facebook, change my mobile number etc not out of spute, but to stop me from having any avenue to contact her - knowing that if I did I would just plead with her not to ruin us

[Anonymous]

She probably left you cause you've been dating for six years and haven't taken the next step. I'd leave too.

[anythingbut]

hi we had planned to start a family in January 20014, also we had planned to but our first house at the end of this year.

[Ultima]

Way to assume anon girl, way to assume.

[Anonymous]

I never regretted leaving a long term relationship because I try to find out if she's really worth it for the long run, and there are strong, solid reasons why I should break it off with her.

[chibij82]

Let go of the hope that she will change her mind as best you can, it will only delay the healing process. So, my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me 3 years ago, I'm still trying to piece myself back together because I kept having these instances where I thought we might get back together but he only wanted to be friends/friendly due to our long history. It will be painful for quite some time but just take this as a chance to learn more about you.

[calialltheway1993]

What are your solid reasons, if you don't mind me asking.

[Anonymous]

I regretted it quite a lot for the first couple of months after the break-up, but I knew it was only because I was hurting, and that it was for the best in the long run. It was.

[why-makoto-kun]

No, each relationship ended for the best.

[why-makoto-kun]

Seeing the update, that sucks. :( I'm so sorry.

[Anonymous]

yep...3 years later and I still regret it.

[anythingbut]

do you mind me asking what happened? I am absolutely devastated by what has happened to me - I didn't see it coming, there were no warning signs and no problems with the relationship. She had been extremely stressed with work for a period of two weeks, and its almost like she just snapped. She told me that we had become more like friends and told me she wanted out, and that was that. I went from living with her for 6 years, seeing her every day to absolutely nothing.

[Opinion Owner]

someone mentioned that 6 years is a long time without taking "the next step"... she has to a least feel like she has a future with you, maybe you were holding back too much? That is sort of how I feel wih my ex.. but I also had insecurities issues so I understad why he was holding back.. we dated for only a year, I wasn't expecting him to propose or anything, but I did want something more serious, we basically would just hang out with his friends and rarely ever did fun things, other than sex..

[Opinion Owner]

The reason I have so much regret is I wish I tried harder and I always wonder what we coud have been.

[Deft_maiden]

Nope

[Robotic]

Well, I didn't regret our break up neither >:(

[Deft_maiden]

@ Robotic Such a good sport you are haha