Men what makes a woman girlfriend material?

[misscocobutter]

What makes a woman girlfriend material over casual fling material? Just curious...

[Anonymous]

That is approaching the problem the wrong way around.

if a guy does not want a relationship, it doesn't matter what the girl is like. How good she is, how sexy she is, how horny she is, how perfect for him she is... he's just not going to want a relationship.

The idea that a girl would come along and be "girlfriend material" if the guy doesn't want a girlfriend, is an oxymoron.

On the other hand, if the guy is looking for a girlfriend, and looking for a relationship, then the girl doesn't have to have a specific or special quality over all other girls. She just has to meet the guys requirements. And they are going to be very different depending on the guy.

[misscocobutter]

I so don't get men! I'm the opposite if I find a guy I think is amazing then I don't want to pass him up, I make myself ready because he is worth it

[Opinion Owner]

And that's a good example of why men and women are different. Women are always (it seems) looking for a relationship. Men are not.

[misscocobutter]

Interesting. It explains a lot. Suppose if I really like someone my goal would be to be in a relationship with them, but if I don't feel that way there's no chance and nothing he could do to change my mind

[misscocobutter]

It so funny though so if a guy met the perfect woman for him and he just wasn't "ready" he would let her go? I have always wondered if men think women are buses "of there will be another one along in 5 minutes" not trying to be rude, but seriously is there truth to the bus idea?

[Opinion Owner]

I think it might come across that way, because we don't value cementing the girl into a relationship the way that girls do. But I don't think we think of girls as busses or treat them that way.

But yes, if a guy met a perfect girl and he still wasn't interested in a relationship at that time, he might let her go. It's more likely he'd try to keep her around, with the implication of a relationship in the future (when he becomes ready for one) but most girls hate that and can't be patient and wait. They look at it as being strung along with no guarantee of a pay off.

I think the main difference is that women are looking for "the one", their Prince Charming. Soul mate, or whatever. And the guy is just (when he goes looking for a girlfriend) looking for the best he can get, who meets his criteria. We have broader goals, and maybe more chance of success in meeting those goals.

[misscocobutter]

Interesting insight. I suppose for me to be myself and open up to and love a man truly I would need to be in a relationship with him otherwise I don't see it going anywhere. But I have been strung along before and it is a very difficult experience for a woman, very frustrating and we think "make up your mind already, kill me now"

[misscocobutter]

Ok well I won't take it personally anymore then, because I always take it as I'm not good enough

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, definitely don't do that. It's got nothing to do with you, and everything to do with what the guy wants in the here and now.

[misscocobutter]

Wow. Revelation!!! Have always though nope I'm not good enough for him, that's why he's strung me along and doesn't really want anything to do with me. Ouch this hurts us women +++++

[Opinion Owner]

That might also explain why guys do not feel guilty about it when it happens, because as far as they are concerned, they aren't stringing anyone along. It's the girls perception as such which makes it difficult for them.

[Spirit156]

Well if the girl has high intrest in the guy she's girlfriend material. If the girl doesn't have that much intrest (can name many reasons. One of them is definitly that she's very insecure) she's better off as just a fling

a girl that has high intrest is mostly always up for a relationship. I notice that she wouldn't mind to leave her group of friends to spend time with me while the just a fling type would talk but doesn't leave the group.

its kinda difficult to answer this as thete are many things.

[Chuga]

I would think that the ability to care for someone would be a major one. Foresight if you wish to pursue a family and feel that she will be a great wife/mother.

For me, it would be at the point where I could not see myself without her in my life. When I could honestly say that i would be f'ed without her. That is when you know she cannot be just a fling

[cavmanier]

Attraction, get along, respect each others values beliefs and boundaries, communicate well, hot sex

[CasaNorba]

to me would be being smart, decent, humbled, laid back, mature, and outgoing

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

She has to be useful.

[misscocobutter]

Define useful

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

There are many ways to be useful and the needs change. Being able to adapt well to what is needed, a versatility of you will, and just increases value. No matter what though being useful requires more than just sex-related skills, traits, and abilities.

A useful woman to a man's cause will change his life and vice versa, anything less will just be a prolonged exchange of dollar bills.

[misscocobutter]

Maybe I'm weird but I don't want a man's dollar bills, I make my own ;)

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

I'm not surprised. That is the norm. Always was.

[misscocobutter]

Not for me, my mother brought me up with zero help from my father and to this day he has never spent a cent on me or even bought me a present for my birthday, that ship has sailed and I make my own way in life

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

I just said that's normal...

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

Most people take care of themselves financially these days.

[misscocobutter]

Sorry...removing chip from my shoulder...lol

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

No problem. I get that a lot. :3