Polls: Relationships

After nearly a year of dating him, I decided to break things off. I could never connect to him deeply. I wasn't even sexually attracted to him too much either. When kissing, it felt dull and as if I was kissing a stranger, no passion whatsoever.

I felt as if I was dating him out of compassion but not really loving him in a romantic manner. I love him as a brother, as a friend but not as a woman in love.

Let’s say the woman makes $80,000 a year and the man makes $50,000 for perspective

for those who are fine with it or say you’re open to it, would you expect the guy to do more to make up for it? For men who say yes, would you be willing to do more and take care of everything at home (stay at home dad, cook, etc)?

I just don’t feel like trying anymore. I’ve tried for so long because I know we both love each other a lot but maybe I should just accept our differences and how it’s not going to work in the long run. Yes I do communicate and it’s always the same cycle all over again. He does have good qualities too but it’s going to be too much for you guys to read haha but these are things that bother me. I feel so alone in this relationship

- He doesn’t have any goals in life and make 30k a year. I’m in nursing school and working my ass off. He keeps telling me he would go back to school but always make up excuses. (We have a 7 year age gap, I’d expect him to be somewhere at his age)
- We don’t have similar interests in hobbies. I workout, enjoy sightseeing, and exploring new places. He loves cornhole and chilling and drinking at home with family
- I’m clingy and want to spend more time with him while he seems okay to spend less time together (see each other once a week, even when I’m on break) (We live 15 minutes away)
- I’m always craving for more intimacy than him
- I’m begging for the bare minimum like asking for flowers and only receiving it once throughout our relationship

I used to speak with these 2 guys pretty often through an online game during COVID but since 2021 we stopped talking as often. I guess they got busy? I still play pretty often but I’m one of those people that hold grudges. One of them was conceited & said cocky stuff that rubbed me the wrong way at times while the other was just kind of there & acted dumb. I feel like I was the one that was in contact with both of them more often, they didn’t talk as much when it was just the two of them. We began talking less often & I didn’t see the point in keeping them on my friends list. One of them wished me merry Christmas but I left him on read. I deleted both of them from the game & social media, if you were them would you follow up? I guess not, maybe if you were closer to someone you’d consider it?

I learned this the hard way, so to me, nope!

A relationship has to have more than just love to survive! That's IF the love is even really there to begin with! And they're not just "loving" in a casual way! Or as someone on YouTube said: "Just Pretending"!

In a heterosexual relationship, I'm curious to know which option both sexes would choose given the right circumstances were in place.

I encourage you to consider what would make you feel happiest and most fulfilled.

Try not to worry about what other people would think or want you to say.

You can vote anonymously if it helps.

Women - please read carefully

How many of you would prefer to be a wife and possibly a mom, IF you were guaranteed the man would treat you with love and respect for what you do?

That said, your husband encouraged and supported you in your passion projects, hobbies and part time work if it's something you chose to do. BUT your family would be your FIRST priority and your work and passions come second.

That said, you aren't the main bread winner.

OR, would you be happiest having a full time career and just hiring a nanny or the man be the homemaker?

Men - please read carefully

If all of the above applied to you and you could chose to be the breadwinner or the homemaker, which one would you chose? Let's say hypothetically, we are still living in a "perfect" world still. And your wife and society would treat you with love and respect despite which role you chose. What would you chose?

We get so many messages on what we should or shouldn't do based on our sexe. In fact there are mixed messages and views on it. At the end of the day, I'm curious to know what people truly desire if they new without a doubt they could trust their partner and the social pressures and judgments are completely removed.

She’s kind of a lead & one of the best, we work remotely & she’s responsive with answering my questions. Since last week & this week, I noticed something & wonder if it’s a genuine mistake. I sent her an IM & her usual response is “looking” meaning she’s checking the file I’m asking about. But last week & this week she typed “LOOKING”, caps always comes across as yelling. Then right away she edits the message & puts it in lowercase. She answers, her tone isn’t condescending, she continues to heart/like my msgs but that was strange. I’m kind of hesitant now, I need to be wary of my boss bringing this up. Ugh

28F, my mom & I have always went through periods where we stop talking for a few weeks/months. Back in 2020, we got in a big fight & didn’t talk for a little over a year. I finally began talking to her again & we got back in an argument for the first time since Dec 2022. That was squashed after a weekend & got in another argument this Tues. It’s usually over petty things, I can be very argumentative & a good amount of the time she tries to rekindle. In 2020 I was living alone & I moved back in with her Nov 22. I don't know if we went a good amount of time not fighting bc I wasn’t living with her, I’m older now & hoped things would’ve changed. I really thought they did but I snap very easily, work has been stressful & we’re back to old ways. Bc of this, my anxiety is up the roof & not very content atm. My dad said we have a crazy relationship, mind you he & his mother’s relationship was worse. It makes me second guess if we’re really ok, I feel comfortable with her but we’re equally petty & too alike I guess?

Traditional:

The woman doesn't work or contribute financially. Most of the woman's time is spent on looking good and little time is spent on education or career. The guy works long hours and brings home the bacon. He is responsible for affording everything. Both parties are expected to be somewhat celibate before marriage but especially women. The woman is expected to have kids and cook and clean. The guy is conscripted to the army for a minimum for 12 months.

Modern:

Both parties work and make similar incomes. Both spend same time on hobbies and going gym and sharing housework etc. If they decide to have kids they both take on part time work (3:2 or 2:3 split whichever). Celibacy is not important and both parties had similar # of sexual partners before. Both parties still surprise each other with cute gifts and thoughtful gestures. No army conscription for men.