Let’s say the woman makes $80,000 a year and the man makes $50,000 for perspective
for those who are fine with it or say you’re open to it, would you expect the guy to do more to make up for it? For men who say yes, would you be willing to do more and take care of everything at home (stay at home dad, cook, etc)?
This is a great question because it hits at an INCREDIBLY common fallacy that I've observed over and over and OVER again both in real life conversations and on here:
First, people make the observation that when they look out in the world they see that most women are with men who earn more and consequently most men are with women who earn less than they do. Without too much work, you can discover that there are three primary reasons for this. In order of importance, they are:
1) Women explicitly prefer men who either earn more or have high earning potential as reflected in some other characteristic like educational attainment, high intelligence, or extreme talent in some domain.
2) On average there is an age gap between men and women in couples where the man is a few years older than the woman. Particularly in younger couples 3-5 years of additional work experience will make it FAR more likely that the man out-earns the woman, and
3) Women get pregnant and have kids and typically take time out of the workforce to do this either in the form of maternity leave, scaling back hours, or simply leaving their jobs. This would also tend to make the man the higher earner, but obviously only applies to couples with kids
So mystery solved, yes? NOPE! Because there's NO shortage of otherwise intelligent people (in addition to the mouth-breathing morons) who will then postulate, "well, CLEARLY it's the case that MEN are just INTIMIDATED by a woman who earns more!" And this, my friends, is fucking HILARIOUS! Women (as a group) explicitly put earning power amongst their most important dating criteria, thereby ruling out lower earning men and THEN try to blame men for not dating women with higher earning power.
How this just doesn't die is kinda beyond me. @MCheetah, would love to get your take on this.
If you look at what most women said most seem completely fine with out earning their partners. I think you’re just trying to share what you believe to be true not what is actually true
Not at all. I'm just familiar with how you actually do social science research. If you want to understand people's preferences, a great way to NOT do that is to ASK them what they prefer. Because preference falsification IS actually a thing. So you need to actually watch how they behave. If you give them a choice amongst various options, you watch what they ACTUALLY CHOOSE rather than listen to what they have to say about anything.
Want a concrete example? How many times have you heard a girl say something to the effect of "I can't STAND players! I'd never go out with one!" only to then go on and get pumped and dumped and then say "I'm never, EVER going to do THAT again!" And you can guess what happens next. . .
And lest you run off an assume I'm ONLY applying this logic to the ladies it works on the guys too. How many times have you hard a guy quoting the old adage, "never stick your dick in crazy!" Then he meets a straight up 10 who's so nuts she LITERALLY shits the bed when she's mad. So he marries her! LMFAO!
What do we learn from all that? Dudes like hot chicks. Chicks like rich dudes. Is it an iron-clad law like the area of a rectangle = width times height? No. Does it work in the vast, vast, VAST majority of instances? Yes, yes it does.
didn’t read anything after you said “pumped and dumped” you sound like an incel
Thanks to the AI bot for SUPERB OPINION!
This just really depends on a woman. Though if a woman is looking for money she needs to be honest about her standards and preferences. There is nothing wrong with having standards and preferences by any means. But you should also be looking for love.
For some women income doesn't matter and for others it does. Even men sometimes have standards and preferences as far as this stuff goes. If he makes a income of a certain amount even if he is fine with dating a woman whose making less will still want her making so much amount of money. But then again some men want housewives'.
You see how everyone is different? We are not all looking for the same things so if we aren't compatible we should still respect one another as human beings and just say that we aren't compatible for a romantic and/or sexual relationship and move about our life's.
Though gold digging especially if dishonest about what you're wanting is wrong.
I think some people would view this question as basically being "ladies, are you greedy" but I think there are other factors. For me, I want to be able to stay at home w kids when they are small, and I also want to pursue some career options that don't pay v. well, so it is just preferable if my income isn't the main one bc if it was, I would need to make choices that I do not think are as good for me or my family. However everybody looks at things differently I am not saying others should see it how I see it. JMO!
Been there done that, I made more than him and that was fine by me. I don't care how much he makes as long as he is responsible, works full time (don't even care what job it is) and has decent credit score. That shows responsibility to me, or at least a good verifiable reason why he doesn't.
I don't want to be with someone who is way far in debt because he can't control his spending.
Opinion
55Opinion
Money is not the determining factor in any relationship that has the possibility of lasting 50 years of marriage. If money does exert this type of relational pressure holding priority position then brace yourself for a very difficult, lonely, and unsatisfying life experience as you comparison Self to spouse and Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
To the contrary, the ability to do without as One ☝️ nestled within contentment and current circumstance is what is needed for marriage.
I SAW YOUR SWINE GUY13 GUY
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@Summeroflove
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Even Jaba, with a tiny waist, can work in and out the drive-thru 🐷
I SAW YOUR SWINE
Haven't met a woman who earns more then me so I guess I will cross that road when it comes if it ever comes which i doubt lol
Well then you haven't dated models 😏
@PinkRose24 Many women I haven't dated yet. Yet being key word.
@PinkRose24 to be fair models don’t make much but he hasn’t dated supermodels
I’m sure you’ve dated a woman that’s more intelligent than you are, that’s not saying much though.
@Kingofkings1992 are you saying coach isn't smart?
@PinkRose24 Honey if you really need an answer to that I seriously worry about you
@Kingofkings1992 he didn't say intelligent, he said earn.
"I’m sure you’ve dated a woman that’s more intelligent than you are, that’s not saying much though"
It's not saying much because he's not smart so the girl being smarter than him isn't a big deal since it's not a high IQ anyway
@Keplerbett 🤦♂️
Sure, no problerm. We'll pool our money together for most things anyway, so it doesn't matter if there's a disparity in each person's earnings.
The only thing I can say is to repeat what I have actually observed over the last 15 or so years. I have known about 30 married couples where the man made no more than 50% of her income. Of that number, not a single relationship survived. Almost every one of them the female was the one that filed for divorce. In almost every one of them, the female got hit hard with the final settlements. I know several that are still paying their now ex-husband's spousal support. In about half of them, the female lost the house. On the flip side of this, I know many relationships where the man makes more or is the sole breadwinner. Very few of these marriages have failed. So I challenge all of you, what the hell is going on?
That’s interesting. Where are you meeting these couples? Thinking it’s a biased sample
My business forces me to network across most of the US and Europe. Because of this, I meet a lot of people both male and female. I also help run 2 men's groups a week and work with a fantastic Therapist who is also a Medical Doctor. Remember I said this was over 15 or so years. I am simply telling what I have seen with my own baby blues. I am not quoting things I have read or have been told. I am strictly sticking to information where I have 1st hand account. I have no bias when it comes to relationships. To be honest I consider close to a full third of the population in the western world to not be much more than trash! MALE AND FEMALE! I see this bullshit almost every day! Understand I am not saying people are trash because they don't earn a lot of money! I know a lady who is working 2 jobs to feed her two kids after her POS husband got up and walked off. I consider her a hero! I consider her husband to be 100% human trash!
Where I'm from that combined salary would not be enough to afford to get married sadly. Regardless I wouldn't care if a woman made more than me if I was working hard and doing the best I could. If I was slacking I would feel bad I'm not pitching in enough.
Salary gaps are still not even but catching up between men and women. That said not all men make more than all women. My take is if money is something you're going to hold over a spouse or a thing of envy/pride your relationship is not headed in the right direction.
Most men themselves lose interest in women who make more than them and many others act insecure. I don't care how commonly men believe that women are the ones chasing men for money, there absolutely are men who care about how much money a woman has and/or the financial status of her family.
I would watch his attitude.
But are you saying they care for the opposite reason? To make sure the woman / her family isn’t richer than him?
No I meant that there are also a lot of men who are also chasing money and status of women for the classic "gold-digging" purposes. Hoping to get a share of property, political gains, social gain, or just a meal ticket. I've unfortunately had the horrible experience being with a guy who used me to gain access to my social circle because he enjoyed getting attention and popularity. My friends didn't say it aloud but found it as a big red flag when he would join to talk to my peer circle and then completely ignore my existence. Some even say he seemed to be after all the free food I gave him, because I always complained I had access to food worth this much money but I don't eat much so it will go to waste. Almost like dating or befriending a person getting disability benefits for the money.
I'm not sure of the 'yes or no' is in regards to being okay with a woman making more or in regards to if the woman makes more then the man should be open to doing more chores to make up the difference.
I've absolutely no issue with the woman making more money. When it boils down to things your relationship is a team and the more that team can bring in the better. I wouldn't be okay with being expected to do more to make up the difference though. I've always earned more than my partners but never have I took that as an excuse to sit back with my feet up and expect them to have to earn their keep so to speak. All work is stressful, most jobs don't pay what they should and at the end of the day people do their best and don't deserve to be treated less than based on their income
I couldn't care how much money my partner makes. I'm not with him for his money or his assets. I'm with him because I love him and can't imagine being with anyone else. And no, I wouldn't expect him to do more to make up for it. I'm pretty old school when it comes to this sort of stuff, so I would still want to make sure I cook for him and clean for him etc. That's just another way of me showing him that I love him.
This issue is more complicated than most people today, especially women, will acknowledge. I would have no problem being with a woman who earns more than me, IF she continues to respect me. That is a big IF, because women are hypergamous by nature (sorry, it's just a fact), and that does often lead to them respecting their man less, which creates obvious problems in relationships. People (again, especially women) like to blame that on men's insecurity, but that is an unfair characterization. I have seen it play out twice in my extended family, and it destroyed the marriages and left the kids pretty fucked up.
I voted B because I'm not 100% against it, but it's not ideal.
I did marry a woman who at the end of the marriage earned more than me, but that is probably why she left. I gave her a roof over her head and cheered her on through med school, but once she finished and had the higher salary, she left me. At least she was fair in the divorce and did not take my house or my retirement and even left me with some cash for living expenses on the way out, like a "reverse dowry".
Seems like she was a pretty good woman based on what you said. I know many who would not only take everything she had but what you have even if she was richer
She was - and is- fair about things and is whip smart. I have to give her that. I am sorry I could not make her happy. She entered med school when it became clear, after four miscarriages, that she could not conceive (after 35 that window does often slam shut).
As long as she wasn't the "strong independent type" and didn't hold that over me, sure, I'd be fine with it. Unless kids are involved, I honestly think childless couples should keep their money separate from each other. That way, things don't get messy.
We live in such fuck up times that I see slogans for women that says “have lady balls”. I don’t get it is the media trying to promote women as some next male hybrid type human being? Women nowadays hate traditional values. Ladies, you might find it hard to believe but there are good hardworking guys out there who won’t take advantage of you whether you make less or more. But I feel like women get swayed easily socially or politically that she will get the whole, “you’re marrying him but he makes less then you” bullshit.
I know some feminist extremist will call me a woman hater or a wimp for saying this, the grade 3 logic online.
I would, but at the end of the day, two things would be the deal breakers.
1.) If she rubs it in my face and tells me that I need to get on her level when she knows full well I have no desire for higher education or want to rule the world vibes by being a fucking CEO or something like that. She can pack her shit and get out at that point.
2.) A lot of women grow to resent men I relationships if they end up making more than them.
I'd be fine with it.
?
If we're both working full time, no I do not expect him to "make up" for it.
Me making 30k more than him doesn't make him lesser than me in any way. We are both hard working individuals & I don't expect my partner to do extra on top of his full time job just because I take home more than him.
Work is taxing for the both of us.
I don't know because for me it's more of what i feel for the oerson. i actually cannot relate to thid. money is a factor yes i think so in terms of attraction but the overall feelings i have for the person is what really determines if i wanna be with the person or not
Yeah, both ways. Some of it is too much effort and responsibility, some good to have - but sentiments and liking/affinity I feel I take as a better guideline/source of direction.
I don't think money is useless, but to glorify it at expense to feelings is a bad idea
Yes. Money isn't everything, especially if you're working in a profession with income that is more than enough to sustain adequate life quality.
Didn't read the description just assuming you mean food, my wife has been in the kitchen making me sandwiches since 1996 and it's the best marriage I've ever had. We still don't talk. My daughter learnt how to make more food than me from her mom. She's got a bright future ahead.
Sure, too many times I hear about couples complaining about each other money situation. I'm fine if either one doesn't want to work even, but have some hobbies beside complaining about each other.
Yes I did. Once we are married…we worked together so that he can make just as much.
I look for the possibility of the potential of this person who I want to be married to.
How do you look at their potential?
By seeing how ambitious they are. There are those who pretend, those who care for your feelings, there are those who are selfish. So yes, dating is a good time to find the one who will work with yiu.
But you must know yourself, know your worth, your wants…
We as women have a lot of power…. I wish more women can work their power to make a better life with the man they pick.
My ex husband had $2k in his bank when I met him, by the time he divorce me, he became a millionaire.
We were talking the other day…he was impress with how well my family (siblings are doing) I told him, we could have been even more successful…but he said I was too business oriented.
My now husband was a handy man when I met him. Now he is a stay at home dad because we don’t need more money.
I am a guy I don't give a crap in how much she earn, it's more about how she use what she got and if she can be happy with it. I don't want anyone that can't handle money, or a girl that can't be happy because she doesn't feel like she got enough.
no, women pretend to be chill about it but they eventually always turn into being condescending and bitchy to a guy that makes less than them. Hypergamy is their nature, they respect men that make at least the same if not more than them.
I'm not really concerned with what she makes. I'm more concerned with her spending habits/her views on finances. If we don't share a similar philosophy it's not going to work, I don't care if she's a millionaire. I have plenty. Odds are she isn't going to have more than me.
How many times is this question going to be asked? A person who places importance on how much money you earn is an extremely shallow person, and not worth being with anyway. In the mature adult world, What matters is having a job and being a responsible person.
To be fair, if these are questions keeping you up, then you should not be marrying.
Marry for love, character and faith - not status or money.
I'm married to a successful man who makes significantly less than I do.
I'm honestly fine with that.
Yes, I Am In This Scenario With My Fiance'... She Makes About $15,000 More Per Year Than Me, And We Are Both Fine With That, It Has Never Been An Issue... Who Makes The Most Money Is Not Important, Annual Income Between Couples Is Not A Contest... We Both Make Very Good Salaries, We Live Very Comfortably... We Have A Brand New 3 Story Home, Our Wedding Is Just A Few Months Away, Which We Paid For Ourselves In Cash Without Taking From Our Monthly Income... Life Is Good!!!
I don't mind if my partner makes more. Im also willing to make up for it in other areas if needed. Its not an issue for me personally.
For me I don’t really care much about the girl’s income so long as she contributes what she can and that it’s reasonable based on what I’m contributing to her and the relationship
Yes it’s not about amount…it’s about the ambition. We have to match expectations for relationships to work. If someone is working toward a mansion and Ferrari she can’t be with a long term coffee barista.
Yes. Money is meant to meet your needs and some desires. It's just paper.
To reject someone who likes me and I like them and get along great will be very immature and stupid just because she makes a higher salary than me.
She is gonna resent me because I’ll have an easier time than her as a stay at home dad
just sleeping smoking weed tons of time to exercise I can go fishing go see a movie play PlayStation butt ass naked on the sofa while she is working
I don't have a problem with that. I'd want to make more than my partner tbh
I'm married to a woman who makes more than me, doesn't bother me one bit, in fact I don't even think about it. She went to college and got a degree, I chose not to go to school and have a decent job but she still makes way more. It is what it is
Since I'm currently taking an education that will result in me having a pretty high paying job, I doubt that my husband will make more than me.
As long as we love each other what would it matter.
Depends on the situation, but probably not. For the sole reason that it statistically increases the likelihood of divorce.
I almost married a homeless guy. That's how POWERFUL Love can be!
My fiancé earns a lot more than me. It don’t bother me. We need it because weddings are expensive!
While I was unemployed for the last 18 months my wife brough in more money than I did. I was okay with it.
At this point I'd rather he makes at least similar to what I make because I don't make that much.
I don't care what a woman makes it has literally zero affect on whether or not I like her or want to be with her, could care less.
How much you earn doesn't affect your domestic role.
I doubt I will ever marry, but I have no problem dating women who make more. I have dated a few attorneys who make more, up to thrice what I earn.
I would not marry any woman who earns less money than me, I will not support any woman.
The votes definitely prove femal hypergamy. Men will vote down because we do not care about money.. But women won't do that locking them into being single for the rest of their lives or being forced to be with someone who they do not love. Sad.
She could make $350k a year for all I care. I still expect her to serve me dinner and rub my back after a long day and have my clothes clean for me. Working is not an excuse to not be a woman.
"stay at home dad, cook" that's not in our DNA.
Imagine grown man staying at home cleaning and cooking, such men have lost their manhood.
I did, she took over a business mid-last year and it's so busy she's turning down work until she can hire some more competent staff, and we got married early December.
i've always made more than my partner. now he is closer to my pay but i still make more. makes no difference.
Yeah it doesn't matter.
Those income levels are way above average by the way.
Sure it really only matters what you make combined together.
If I can pay my fair share then I'm not doing shit extra.
I don't care how much she makes so long as she pays her half.
For years I made more than my wife. Now, she can make more than I can. No problem.
It would be pretty hard to find someone that makes less than me.
i don’t mind making more money, i support my man i love him
I make a comfortable amount of money, more is meaningless, so even if she earned double what I earn, it would feel the same to me.
This is such a stupid fucking question. Women always date up, no matter what lies they tell you.
I haven't found any woman that made more than me but I would certainly welcome the change.
Yes it’s no big deal if both of us can work.
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