Let’s say the woman makes $80,000 a year and the man makes $50,000 for perspective
for those who are fine with it or say you’re open to it, would you expect the guy to do more to make up for it? For men who say yes, would you be willing to do more and take care of everything at home (stay at home dad, cook, etc)?
This is a great question because it hits at an INCREDIBLY common fallacy that I've observed over and over and OVER again both in real life conversations and on here:
First, people make the observation that when they look out in the world they see that most women are with men who earn more and consequently most men are with women who earn less than they do. Without too much work, you can discover that there are three primary reasons for this. In order of importance, they are:
1) Women explicitly prefer men who either earn more or have high earning potential as reflected in some other characteristic like educational attainment, high intelligence, or extreme talent in some domain.
2) On average there is an age gap between men and women in couples where the man is a few years older than the woman. Particularly in younger couples 3-5 years of additional work experience will make it FAR more likely that the man out-earns the woman, and
3) Women get pregnant and have kids and typically take time out of the workforce to do this either in the form of maternity leave, scaling back hours, or simply leaving their jobs. This would also tend to make the man the higher earner, but obviously only applies to couples with kids
So mystery solved, yes? NOPE! Because there's NO shortage of otherwise intelligent people (in addition to the mouth-breathing morons) who will then postulate, "well, CLEARLY it's the case that MEN are just INTIMIDATED by a woman who earns more!" And this, my friends, is fucking HILARIOUS! Women (as a group) explicitly put earning power amongst their most important dating criteria, thereby ruling out lower earning men and THEN try to blame men for not dating women with higher earning power.
How this just doesn't die is kinda beyond me. @MCheetah, would love to get your take on this.
This just really depends on a woman. Though if a woman is looking for money she needs to be honest about her standards and preferences. There is nothing wrong with having standards and preferences by any means. But you should also be looking for love.
For some women income doesn't matter and for others it does. Even men sometimes have standards and preferences as far as this stuff goes. If he makes a income of a certain amount even if he is fine with dating a woman whose making less will still want her making so much amount of money. But then again some men want housewives'.
You see how everyone is different? We are not all looking for the same things so if we aren't compatible we should still respect one another as human beings and just say that we aren't compatible for a romantic and/or sexual relationship and move about our life's.
Though gold digging especially if dishonest about what you're wanting is wrong.
I think some people would view this question as basically being "ladies, are you greedy" but I think there are other factors. For me, I want to be able to stay at home w kids when they are small, and I also want to pursue some career options that don't pay v. well, so it is just preferable if my income isn't the main one bc if it was, I would need to make choices that I do not think are as good for me or my family. However everybody looks at things differently I am not saying others should see it how I see it. JMO!
Been there done that, I made more than him and that was fine by me. I don't care how much he makes as long as he is responsible, works full time (don't even care what job it is) and has decent credit score. That shows responsibility to me, or at least a good verifiable reason why he doesn't.
I don't want to be with someone who is way far in debt because he can't control his spending.
Opinion
54Opinion
Money is not the determining factor in any relationship that has the possibility of lasting 50 years of marriage. If money does exert this type of relational pressure holding priority position then brace yourself for a very difficult, lonely, and unsatisfying life experience as you comparison Self to spouse and Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
To the contrary, the ability to do without as One ☝️ nestled within contentment and current circumstance is what is needed for marriage.
Haven't met a woman who earns more then me so I guess I will cross that road when it comes if it ever comes which i doubt lol
Sure, no problerm. We'll pool our money together for most things anyway, so it doesn't matter if there's a disparity in each person's earnings.
The only thing I can say is to repeat what I have actually observed over the last 15 or so years. I have known about 30 married couples where the man made no more than 50% of her income. Of that number, not a single relationship survived. Almost every one of them the female was the one that filed for divorce. In almost every one of them, the female got hit hard with the final settlements. I know several that are still paying their now ex-husband's spousal support. In about half of them, the female lost the house. On the flip side of this, I know many relationships where the man makes more or is the sole breadwinner. Very few of these marriages have failed. So I challenge all of you, what the hell is going on?
Where I'm from that combined salary would not be enough to afford to get married sadly. Regardless I wouldn't care if a woman made more than me if I was working hard and doing the best I could. If I was slacking I would feel bad I'm not pitching in enough.
Salary gaps are still not even but catching up between men and women. That said not all men make more than all women. My take is if money is something you're going to hold over a spouse or a thing of envy/pride your relationship is not headed in the right direction.
Most men themselves lose interest in women who make more than them and many others act insecure. I don't care how commonly men believe that women are the ones chasing men for money, there absolutely are men who care about how much money a woman has and/or the financial status of her family.
I would watch his attitude.
I'm not sure of the 'yes or no' is in regards to being okay with a woman making more or in regards to if the woman makes more then the man should be open to doing more chores to make up the difference.
I've absolutely no issue with the woman making more money. When it boils down to things your relationship is a team and the more that team can bring in the better. I wouldn't be okay with being expected to do more to make up the difference though. I've always earned more than my partners but never have I took that as an excuse to sit back with my feet up and expect them to have to earn their keep so to speak. All work is stressful, most jobs don't pay what they should and at the end of the day people do their best and don't deserve to be treated less than based on their income
I couldn't care how much money my partner makes. I'm not with him for his money or his assets. I'm with him because I love him and can't imagine being with anyone else. And no, I wouldn't expect him to do more to make up for it. I'm pretty old school when it comes to this sort of stuff, so I would still want to make sure I cook for him and clean for him etc. That's just another way of me showing him that I love him.
This issue is more complicated than most people today, especially women, will acknowledge. I would have no problem being with a woman who earns more than me, IF she continues to respect me. That is a big IF, because women are hypergamous by nature (sorry, it's just a fact), and that does often lead to them respecting their man less, which creates obvious problems in relationships. People (again, especially women) like to blame that on men's insecurity, but that is an unfair characterization. I have seen it play out twice in my extended family, and it destroyed the marriages and left the kids pretty fucked up.
I voted B because I'm not 100% against it, but it's not ideal.
I did marry a woman who at the end of the marriage earned more than me, but that is probably why she left. I gave her a roof over her head and cheered her on through med school, but once she finished and had the higher salary, she left me. At least she was fair in the divorce and did not take my house or my retirement and even left me with some cash for living expenses on the way out, like a "reverse dowry".
As long as she wasn't the "strong independent type" and didn't hold that over me, sure, I'd be fine with it. Unless kids are involved, I honestly think childless couples should keep their money separate from each other. That way, things don't get messy.
I would, but at the end of the day, two things would be the deal breakers.
1.) If she rubs it in my face and tells me that I need to get on her level when she knows full well I have no desire for higher education or want to rule the world vibes by being a fucking CEO or something like that. She can pack her shit and get out at that point.
2.) A lot of women grow to resent men I relationships if they end up making more than them.
I'd be fine with it.
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If we're both working full time, no I do not expect him to "make up" for it.
Me making 30k more than him doesn't make him lesser than me in any way. We are both hard working individuals & I don't expect my partner to do extra on top of his full time job just because I take home more than him.
Work is taxing for the both of us.
We live in such fuck up times that I see slogans for women that says “have lady balls”. I don’t get it is the media trying to promote women as some next male hybrid type human being? Women nowadays hate traditional values. Ladies, you might find it hard to believe but there are good hardworking guys out there who won’t take advantage of you whether you make less or more. But I feel like women get swayed easily socially or politically that she will get the whole, “you’re marrying him but he makes less then you” bullshit.
I don't know because for me it's more of what i feel for the oerson. i actually cannot relate to thid. money is a factor yes i think so in terms of attraction but the overall feelings i have for the person is what really determines if i wanna be with the person or not
Yeah, both ways. Some of it is too much effort and responsibility, some good to have - but sentiments and liking/affinity I feel I take as a better guideline/source of direction.
I don't think money is useless, but to glorify it at expense to feelings is a bad idea
Yes. Money isn't everything, especially if you're working in a profession with income that is more than enough to sustain adequate life quality.
Didn't read the description just assuming you mean food, my wife has been in the kitchen making me sandwiches since 1996 and it's the best marriage I've ever had. We still don't talk. My daughter learnt how to make more food than me from her mom. She's got a bright future ahead.
Sure, too many times I hear about couples complaining about each other money situation. I'm fine if either one doesn't want to work even, but have some hobbies beside complaining about each other.
Yes I did. Once we are married…we worked together so that he can make just as much.
I look for the possibility of the potential of this person who I want to be married to.
