Is a 3.5 year relationship worth saving?

[Anonymous]

I just don’t feel like trying anymore. I’ve tried for so long because I know we both love each other a lot but maybe I should just accept our differences and how it’s not going to work in the long run. Yes I do communicate and it’s always the same cycle all over again. He does have good qualities too but it’s going to be too much for you guys to read haha but these are things that bother me. I feel so alone in this relationship

- He doesn’t have any goals in life and make 30k a year. I’m in nursing school and working my ass off. He keeps telling me he would go back to school but always make up excuses. (We have a 7 year age gap, I’d expect him to be somewhere at his age)
- We don’t have similar interests in hobbies. I workout, enjoy sightseeing, and exploring new places. He loves cornhole and chilling and drinking at home with family
- I’m clingy and want to spend more time with him while he seems okay to spend less time together (see each other once a week, even when I’m on break) (We live 15 minutes away)
- I’m always craving for more intimacy than him
- I’m begging for the bare minimum like asking for flowers and only receiving it once throughout our relationship

Yes work it out

No there’s someone better out there

[Anonymous]

My simply way of processing this is you have to weigh the pros and the cons. Understand not one person will share everything with you expect i. e guy makes $100K/yr but treats you like shit etc. From what I read, especially at the latter part that it seems you're wasting your time because basic/fundamental needs are not being met. If you stay in such a relationship without meaningful changes either you're going to go without those needs and be resentful of seek those needs out with someone else while being with your boyfriend. You're not living together, not married, probably not sharing recurring expenses (i. e car payments, mortgage etc) then consider yourself lucky that you have a relatively clean exit. Good Luck

[coachTanthony]

I just don’t feel like trying anymore

That is your answer right there. Then don't. Not everything is worth saving due to the amount of time that has been put in. The longer you delay the longer you will not find happiness.

[Flower7]

You shouldn’t feel obligated to stay in a bad relationship just because it has lasted for a long time.

Relationships tend to get worse and not better. You should expect that what you’re getting now will be as good as it gets. Your future with him will most likely be as things are now or even worse.

[Jessica405]

Call it a day. Too many differences. Sometimes we think we are in love, but in reality, we are in love with being in love.

End it, and find a better guy. He may not be the richest or the best looking, but when the going gets rough, he will be there for you.

[Asker]

Yeah there are lots of differences I wished I realized when we started dating. Just sucks because my boyfriend and I have so much fun talking and joking around with each other and he would take such good care of me. But we just don’t satisfy each other’s needs.

[Summeroflove]

Honestly. If you’re married I would try to get things worked out. But I don’t want you to be absolutely miserable either.

If you’re not married. Yeah probably better to leave. Find someone else. That way you’re not married with him and stuck like this ina. Worse situation

[Backnforth]

A relationship is a partnership and both people need to be on the same page. Love is all well and good on its own, but both people need to share the journey together in at least some of the ways you mentioned in your examples. The biggest red flag is that he doesn't want to spend more time together, because your partner should be your favorite person in the world to spend time with. If you end up moving in together, I think you'll become more like roommates than lovers.

[Asker]

Yeah you’d think your partner would be excited to hang out but nope he’s too tired and would rather chill at home

[Asker]

Honestly just so sad how I’m begging for his attention. I’m so close to breaking up but it’s just hard because I still love him and we do have good times together. And he is also my first partner but I guess we’re just incompatible and if it doesn’t work, we can’t force it

[SeriouslyFunny00]

Numbers are BS. Are you ready to stay and be dissatisfied in this relationship for a long time, or even decades? It's hard to be with someone you're completely opposite with. If you know this is not going to work anymore, don't waste your time any longer. 🤍

[Anonymous]

Well how about this.. i gave the woman i love 100 red roses twice and never got a thank you. Gave her flowers a few months ago and more roses and never got a thank you. Gave her expensive jewelry and never got so much as a thank you. Traveled 3000 miles to see her for her birthday a couple of years ago and got stood up by her. Traveled 100+ miles multiple times to support her at her job and got stood up and sent on a wild goose chase by her. Never got so much as a merry Christmas or happy new year or happy birthday or happy Thanksgiving. How about absolutely nothing from her

[Asker]

Yeah that’s kinda messed up. Relationships should be two sided. Both should treat each other

[Allevi]

Relationships are a team effort, not a solitary one. I understand your desire to preserve what has been under construction for 3.5 years, and you are offended if it ends. But sometimes you need to leave on time so that it doesn’t hurt even more later. You deserve someone better!

[IveGotNoName]

By 3.5 years you have to have learned how to take care of each other's needs. Call it off.

[Anemone978]

If you are that unhappy 3 years in its only gonna get worse, men only get lazier as the relationship progresses...

[sadgirl0210]

U should be able to feel it in your heart if he your soulmate.

[SlavicThor]

You're way better off finding someone who's of higher value...

[Shamalien]

15 mins away and you see eachother once a week?

This is not a relationship this is a joke

[Twalli]

Most relationships don't last as long as this one has. You clearly think the good things outweigh the bad, or else your relationship would not have lasted as long as it has.

[Anonymous]

A. Yes, try to work things out and if you fail, then at least you know you gave it your best shot.

[SweetTwistedSatanist]

That sounds like a depressing relationship to be in! You're not compatible!

[Brando10222]

I'm sorry but it's not worth it

[dustybiker]

That sounds exhausting.

[Jennz6]

You should try to make it work