Polls: Relationships

I met an amazing guy, who is my age.
My dad does not agree with the relationship because he thinks I'm being lustful and emotional and taking my focus off my education, which is funny because he never took the time to ask me how I'm going with my studies but the minute he knows I'm in a relationship he says that even after I told him that my grades have improved and that I go better in school ever since I've been with this guy.

I have an African dad, and most African people or at least Nigerian people, when they hear relationship they think immediately of sex outside of marriage. And me being in a relationship at 18 is like me being rebellious and thinking I can do whatever I want because I'm 18, that's what my dad thinks. But the reality is that I met this guy now at 18 and I couldn't let the chance go.

He tries talking me out of this relationship he does not care about the fact that I'm genuinely happy and that many things have improved in my life... for once I do not have to deal with everything alone. All he cares about is me being submissive and taking his word as law.

My aunty called and said the same thing and basically that I'm too young and that I should just focus on my education. I just feel stressed, overwhelmed and misunderstood.

Even when it comes to lust or sex... as a Christian couple we talked about these things and we have boundaries and our thoughts aren't focused on those things at all because we believe that things like that should be done in the confines of marriage.

But yet, nothing, almost as if no one other than my mom and close friends understand.

I feel overwhelmed because I've always wanted a guy like the guy I currently have right now yet it's like I can't be happy.

My dad, and my aunty and I'm sure my other close relatives will continue to say the same thing, they make me feel young and stupid, I'm even tired of standing up for myself and relationship. It is exhausting, I just want to be happy, I don't know what to do.

Have you been in love? How did it feel and how did you know?

I'm trying to understand what romatic love is more specifically since I think pretty much everyone can tell what sexual love is. Do you picture being in love as going on dates, hand holding, etc? Or spend you life with someone and doing everyday things together?

Going Anon since I've asked too many questions.

i see so many girls 20-30 having babies & I see their mom so happy & taking care of baby & congratulating daughter or cry of happiness. My parents are the type to beat me to death if I’m pregnant at 25-26. All cuz I’m not married but I see many girls have baby then marry few years later. I got bad luck and no guy is racing to marry me. Some girls marry fast at 18. Many girls cry and have no clue when they’ll be proposed to. You can’t force it. Even being married you can be cheated on, ik many women married & cheated on but they get pregnant again fast after guy cheats. My parents are type to disown me & beat me for having a baby at age 26. I live alone. I wish I had chill loving parents 😞

In my relationship we have mutual affection, respect and trust. I have compassionate love towards him, we spend quality time, shared common interests, have a good communication, have no arguments at all and I'm fond of him. After all infatuation fades eventually and you don't live out of that.

I don't feel passionate love for him. The infatuation stage never developed. I'm not infatuated (in love) with him.

Do you think men or women are more likely to snoop and demand passwords?

My boyfriend said it is mostly a female habit and I disagree.

I just read her update on reddit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/yozb12/my_husband_40_m_and_i_39_f_are_working_things_out/

- She cheats in 2002 with the guy's friend. She was 19 at the time. They were boyfriend and girlfriend.

- The guy forgives, she betters herself, hever cheated since, they get married later on and have 3 kids.

- 20 years later, this time the husband cheats with his co-worker but for different reasons, unrelated to her old cheating.

- The guy falls in love with his co-worker, he exchanges texts about traveling to Paris with her and leaving his kids, spends money on his affair (even steals and uses some of his wife's money) and takes his wife's meals and desserts to feed the woman

- Everything backfired in the end; his AP partner was using him for money. They're currently working things out. She's sounds upset on her post though.

Which zone do you think it's the worst one?

The friendzone; you'll always been seen as a platonic friend by that person or others. It'll never progress to dating. No romantic interest.

The fuck zone; it's usually where the girl develops an interest and feelings for someone that only sees her as someone to have fun with but will never ask her nor progress to something serious beyond just sex. No relationship interest.

The forever girlfriend zone; yeah she's in a relationship but he'll never propose nor have kids with her. She's hopelessly waiting for it but it'll never happen. He's just a girlfriend to enjoy for the meantime but he'll always have one foot out the door.

I bought my 1 br condo a little over 3 years ago @ 110K. Only put down 3% as first time buyer with everything combined put down around 8k including appraisal, closing costs etc. I was very frustrated after my experience being absolutely terrible with the upstairs neighbors, the one that was here the longest for 2 years drove me to the point of wanting to put my place on the market. The HOA was involved & her landlords last words were “this is going to get resolved”. Kid you not, she swiftly ends up moving out 2 days before I list my place for sale. Now this woman & her young daughter move in whom so far have been oddly quiet. I list my place at 170k & in less than 2 days my place is under contract with an offer at 175k. I end up having a contingency offer where I was going to sign on another place to buy & after long thought end up backing out. Unfortunately my stupid self was already under contract to sell my place & the buyer isn’t budging she’s adamant about buying my place. My place is scheduled to close on 11/18 & I’m getting close to 60k for the sale of my place. Mind you, I put down around 8k 3+ years ago. My place already appraised at 175k. With the interest & high mortgage with buying another place, I’ve decided to move back in with family after living alone for so long. They’re converting the living room into my own bedroom which I’ll be bringing my own furniture from my place, my mom is letting me live rent free. It’s going to be a huge adjustment, with the money I’ll be getting + saving my paycheck hopefully it’ll be more than enough to put down on my dream home in time. Hopefully by the end of 2023, I know the market may take a turn for the worst. I’ve already beaten myself up over my hasty & ignorant decision making but would like your input.