Would you want to continue with a partner when they emphasise that virginity until marriage and monogamy means a significant deal in their life?

[Joris1998]

Agrees fully with what this partner wishes and shares the same value

Yes (Already lost virginity, dissatisfies partners' wishes)

Yes (Still virgin, but wants to wait until marriage)

No (Still virgin, but doesn't want to wait until marriage)

No (And already has lost virginity)

A total of 82 votes were cast: 36 girls and 46 guys. See detailed results

Updates

+1 y

This can be a male and female.
I asked this because I wondered how many men and women would value the idea of having one partner for life.
Thanks for those that answered

[zeitgeist057]

It's a very cute and romantic idea, but also immature and naive. Marriages end in divorce about 50% of the time, so out of 100 marriages imagine only 50 of them do not end in divorce.

Out of the remaining 50 marriages, 60% are statistically reported to be unhappy. That leaves 20 happy marriages remaining, and that's based on self-reporting, which some people lie about because they are lying to themselves or they have some notions about marriages and want to perpetuate the myths.

The majority of marriages are a bad idea, either ending in divorce, or if they stay together, people cheat on each other, have affairs, are miserable but "stay together for the kids", or otherwise have power imbalances and struggle miserably and feel unfulfilled in their lives. People even murder their spouse rather than get a divorce sometimes, because they are so unhappy, but refuse the idea of divorce as a solution. How would you like to end up dead? Many spouses get cheated on and know it, but then they act like they don't know about it just to keep up appearances of happiness to fool themselves or others. Marriages like this show an outward face of happiness, which is part of the illusion and why fools believe in marriage. They see these miserable people who have them fooled into thinking everything is going wonderfully when really it's hell.

The reality of the joys of marriage:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/IrImYMTA-5A

[zeitgeist057]

Relationships are like a sport, take tennis for example. If someone tells you that they want to play tennis professionally and expect to be really good at it and whoever their partner is will be the one to take the gold trophy with them, but then they also say they don't believe in practicing, they won't practice with anyone, not even their future partner, not until that partner promises to sign a lifetime contract to play with them and only them, and by the way they've never played tennis and never will play tennis not even pick up a racket until that contract is signed...

Do you think this is a smart idea to sign the contract with them, if you are looking to win any tennis matches? At best, it's a huge gamble, and your odds are less than 50%. Just like a marriage under similar terms.

[Lliam]

Nope. I wouldn't waste my time. I'd wish her a happy life and move on.

I think virginity is a patriarchal concept. The purpose was to keep women in line and insure men's proprietary rights.

I place zero value on virginity. It's the last thing in the world that I care about.

I think virgins are afraid of life in general. They want life to be perfect, which means that they don't know that life is messy because they gave never gone out and participated. They don't take chances. They want to be taken care of.

A lot of virgins have religious or cultural hang ups that I can't relate to.

Each to their own. But I don't want someone who is weak, submissive, timid and dependent. I want someone who places more importance on a partner than on a written contract. There is a difference.

I'm not interested in an ascetic nun who avoids pleasure in favor of sanctity. I want someone who is comfortable with her own body, and has a healthy libido.

[cryscrys1]

There is a problem
Being a virgin and also marrying someone who’s a virgin doesn’t guarantee you will stay married with them forever divorce can happen too. And it happens a lot sadly
So if you stay a virgin it should be for yourself not to save it for someone else because some people can be virgin down there but mentally can be fucked.

[RiseofArtemis]

The statistics do in fact tell them. It's easy to find and you should search them up. Non virgins are much more likely to divorce you then someone who stayed a virgin until marriage. And the more partners you had the more likely divorce is. In fact, the higher the number the less likely your marriage will stand. 2 partners prior makes you 28% likely to divorce.

[cryscrys1]

I don’t need statistics I come from a country were being a virgin is normal and I know for a fact they divorce too. Even in Japan you come across virgin women in their 30s nothing abnormal here they still divorce when getting married. It doesn’t mean anything it depends from the person to person.

[JDavid25]

"There is a problem
Being a virgin and also marrying someone who’s a virgin doesn’t guarantee you will stay married with them forever divorce can happen too."

How and why is that a problem? Just because they might divorce doesn't mean they shouldn't stick to their morals and principles. But I guarantee there's a lower chance of divorce when people go into like that.

[MendaciousMarxist]

I would continue with them but I'd laugh. my second and first boyfriends thought like this. They stayed loyal to me and I wasn't a virgin or loyal. That is such a feminine mindset that I had no choice but to cheat lmao

[coachTanthony]

If she is a virgin maybe but if she has had sex and now waiting until marriage... Oh hell no. I am not the guy.

[Guy13]

Yes, absolutely support her and grow so that we are beautiful 😍 to one another as swiveled up prune and raisin.

[rosek]

I think the big reason 50% of marriages end in divorce is because: 1) people don't know how to choose their life partner and 2) people don't know how to be a life partner. I don't see that statistic as proof marriage or monogamy is stupid. I see it as proof of our decaying, selfish, immoral society. No one said marriage is love and sunshine all the time, but nothing worth fighting for is handed to you easily.

As for the virginity thing, I totally support it. If I truly loved someone, sex wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. Plus you can figure out pretty quickly on if you two have chemistry, and thus if the sex will be good.

[Juneberry91]

I love your answer! Totally agree I see far too many family members and friendships that have based hey this is the one I’m just pure sexual physical attraction. Where there’s hardly any developed emotional and intellectual attraction that is the real glue that binds. People just rush into marriages and then they become so upset and disappointed that their partner is not that person they thought they were. It’s called marrying the false selves.

[CubsterShura]

That information alone isn't enough for me to know if I would want to be with him, but depending on what he even means by that I am probably already off the table for him lol. So I would have to start with what a virgin even means to him, what does he think of having romantic relationships that were not sexual. What does he think of people who aren't virgins?

[Kevinb18222]

it depends. If I really care about about this woman I probably would. I get it. You want to have sex but if they want to wait till marriage they will most likely be faithful to you and you’ll have an amazing life together. Short term suffering for long term gain

[Kori1236]

While I only go for monogamous relationships, I’m far from a virgin so I wouldn’t be with someone who expected me to be one or wanted to remain one until we married

[Agape93]

Nope. I don't believe in marriage, first off. Secondly, physical intimacy is very important to me and my beliefs. If you cannot accommodate something basic as intimacy ever, I will leave

[DevikaButts95]

No matter the relationship, I need head like super early on in the relationship, and it consistently. At this point first date is like a guarantee for me sitting on their face or I'm just not into it.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Yes, that would be ideal for me. I don't it if my partner isn't a virgin as long as they don't have a high number either. Personally I rather wait until I know I'm in a stable ltr (not necessarily marriage).

[Anonymous]

I only have one question for her. Is she a virgin? And if not, how many? And then if the answer was "no" to the first question then while I have no problem with monogamy, why is she deciding to punish me for HER past mistakes.

Yes I believe in 1 partner for life. But if she's not a virgin she needs to come down from her b. s. ivory tower.

[melanieeeB]

Not at all, I'm definitely not going to wait until marriage... hell nah

[Emiliamazing]

My husband and I were not virgins when we got married, but we do believe in monogamy after marriage.

[Price511]

Not really, I’m hypersexual and polyamorous so it really wouldn’t work out. Best of luck to them though, if it is a value they formed themselves ^^

[inhua]

if it's something important to them yes I would respect it.

[HighValue]

Sure as long as she agrees to a prenuptial agreement first.

[CallmeTheKnight]

No. Why wait for sex when another woman who has the possibility of being a wife will definitely have sex with me...

[PainusNdeeAnus]

Girls hate guys who don’t give it up easily they immediately start to shame you with accusations of not really loving them , homosexuality , cheating and possessing a micropenis

[Ninania]

No, cause I'm polyamorous and wouldn't want to waste either of our time and emotions.

[exitseven]

I went along with this once. I would not do it again. I voted for D.

[MountAverage]

No, I strongly disagree with that kind of mindset and find it highly toxic.

[Juxtapose]

I don't believe in the concept of marriage or the purity of virginity.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship with someone who didn’t want sex.

[RiseofArtemis]

Just put a ring on him then. With a Prenup and you get it. Having sex with someone you know will not stay with you is a mistake.

[Opinion Owner]

@RiseofArtemis true

[LazerBean]

I wouldn't have settled for less.

[linka_pat307]

Much want the same

[Anonymous]

Damn, how boring.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Option C.

[iceprincess8]

Yeah totally