My parents won't let me be Muslim, any ideas on how I can change their mind?

Question

There's this Arab guy at my school who I have a HUGE crush on and he says that he has a crush on me too but I have to convert to Islam before he can court me. I've talked to my parents about it and they completely shot me down. The funny thing about it is, ALL of the people that my parents idolize are/were Muslim. Malcolm X, Farrakhan, Elijah Muhammad, Muhammad Ali, Khalid Abdul Muhammad, etc... These were/are all black Muslim men who my parents think were the greatest things to ever happen upon the African-American community but they won't let me be Muslim like them and I REALLY want this guy to take me seriously.

Shyboy265 · Accepted Answer

It sounds like this Muslim dude will only like you if you convert to islam, but in the meantime, he isn't and never will be, attracted to you since you aren't Muslim. Also, don't even bother joining a religion like Islam. Islam is nothing but a violent and sexist religion with the most hilariously, dumb rules every Muslim has to follow, which includes you. Islam says that its perfectly ok for your boyfriend to have more than one girlfriend (which includes marriage as well) so if you happen to see him with another girl, keep in mind that its his "prophet" who gave the thumbs up. Islam also says that its prohibited drinking even a little alcohol or even do the fun shit kids do nowadays. Mohammad (who is the so called prophet of islam) married a 9 yr old girl named Aisha, which Muslims flat out try to defend. If you want to date him, why not tell him to convert to your religion? Why does it have to be you to leave your religion over another? Like I said, it seems he'll only truly be attracted you if you were Muslim. It isn't worth having to date some Arab because he's "hot" just so he can be satisfied. If you want to leave your religion and convert to islam, no one stopping you, but just remember that you will have to sacrifice and abandon things in your life, just so you can be with him.

NineBreaker · Accepted Answer

First of all, no one can truly prevent you from following a religion or system of beliefs.

Second if all, if you want to convert because you're personally convinced that Islam is the truth for you, then by all means go for it. However, you should not convert to be with someone else. That defeats the propose of following any spiritual path. Converting to a a different religion or leaving a religion is a critical life change that you shouldn't take lightly, because it seems that you might be doing just that.

DairyCow · Accepted Answer

If you do, you won't be a proper Muslim anyway. You're not meant to convert for anyone but God. He's going to expect that you learn all prayers and do them 5 times a day. You'll change how you dress and you won't be able to have any male friends. You can't just say you're a Muslim for this guy to like you, because you'll have to live halal.
Seriously, I'm married to a Muslim. If anyone knows how difficult this situation is, it's me. if he's a serious Muslim, he'll take you to his parents and they'll either not accept you or suggest you marry because they won't want their son sinning by being around a female out of wedlock.
You know what they say in Islam? When a boy and girl is together, Satan is always the third person in the room.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Listen to your parents, you do NOT want to get yourself involved in that. You will have to submit to everything he tells you. Are you prepared for that? Right now you are young, not 18, not out of your parent's house. So you cannot make that decision. Your parents told you no to this boy, so the answer is a no. Besides, don't think he'll wait until marriage to have sex either. Some of them are nonpracticing but hold the title. You do not convert into that. Or anything for anybody. NEVER. It should be your choice. But this is a no-no. I don't even agree with that practice. But I cannot tell you otherwise except what I have already told you.

MissLogical · Accepted Answer

You're stupid if you want to convert to a religion just so you can date some dumb high school guy. You're relationship wouldn't last anyway. Plus, you shouldn't convert religions because some guy said that he'd "court you" if you did, you should only convert if the religion aligns with your beliefs. Listen to your parents Jfc.

curiousnorway · Answer

The fact that your parents are trying to protect you may be a sign that they loves you and cares about you. They don't want you to take a so quick decision. If that guy really loved and cared about you, he would think you're fine how you're and not trying to change you. If you convert just to please him, he gets what he want, meaning that he changed you and can use you. Maybe he just want you, so he can use you and show you to his friends. This can be a sign he's not interested in you as a person, but more as a show off object.

Another reason your parents tries to be protective is because they think you should do more research and they don't want you to convert to a religion that may not fit your or their views. It's not uncommon among Muslims to have conservative views like their views on women's rights for instance. Some Muslims, but also Jews and Christians genuinely believes the woman's job is to make a family and be married to a man, but men can get education, jobs and have more freedom. Some treats guys better than girls and is very sexist. Some even support wife violence and that women shouldn't be allowed voting.

I do however understand that it may be tempting. I've seen many good looking people from both genders coming from the Middle-east. Arabs and Persians have nice dark features. In addition they may appear a bit exotic, and especially in the Western world.

I do support your parents and I'm agreeing with Sawno.

eziegler81 · Answer

All the people you named happened to be Muslim, they weren't known because they were Muslim. They were know for their great acts and accomplishments.

You should be or convert to whatever religion you believe in. Don't pick up a religion for a guy especially just for dating. If you knew you wanted to marry him and that required you to convert, then I say go for it. Do your research though. In most Islamic and Muslim cultures, women are regarded as lower grade of human beings.

Another thing to think about is, if he really wanted to be with you, why not abandon his religion or convert to yours? It just really sounds one sided.

Catdragon513 · Answer

If you have to change for him, then don't date him. Religion is a serious thing to a lot of people and you're young. Your parents are not stopping you because they don't like the religion, it's because you're a kid looking to make a serious commitment based on a person who is asking you to change for him. My recommendation is to tell him that he can either like you for who you are, or he doesn't get to date you.

RegularTK421 · Answer

You're parents are right. You are converting to a religion and a way of life not out of a sincere desire to adhere to the faith, but because you like a boy. You haven't even graduated high school yet, but you think you are going to make a major life decision and conform to a religion you know nothing about? Also, fyi, Elijah Muhammed wasn't a real Muslim, he founded hislam, and was a false prophet. Malcom X didn't start out as a real Muslim, but became one towards the end. Muhammed Ali, not really sure about, but he converted mostly because he felt Christianity was the "white man's religion", so he adopted an Arab one instead. Lol irony at it's finest. Christianity originated in the middle east, but that's another topic for another day.

DJB72 · Answer

The real issue is in your question: he says you have to convert to Islam before he can court you.

Why?

Why should you have to be the one to convert?

I am a Christian and I determined I would have to marry a Christian - but I also determined I would not want my wife to become a Christian simply so that I would marry her. There's no sincerity in such a "conversion".

My closest friend right now was raised Muslim. Our friendship has become very deep and she asked me to take her to church, which I did. I moved away a few months ago and she has continued to go from time to time. My only concern was that she was interested in Christianity only because of our friendship at first. Now, however, her interest has shown to be in pursuit of a deeper Truth - which is what it needs to be.

Faith is not something that can be forced onto someone. Don't convert for the sake of a boy. If and when the relationship sours it will affect your view of the beliefs as well.

TripleAce · Answer

If he requires you to be muslim to date - that's already starting on the wrong foot

Your parents are right. Converting for him is wrong
Besides. Muslim men are allowed to marry christians, jews and muslims

You shouldn't have an issue

JustAnotherGirlie · Answer

First of all, I'm not trying to be rude, but WHAT THE HELL. I would not recommend joining a religion for a guy, which is what it sounds like. Please tell me you aren't thinking about becoming a Muslim to get the attention of a man - that's a terrible idea and your parents are right. As you get older, you will become more acutely aware of your parents' views... you gotta accept it and move on. There's no changing how they feel

that1guy_123 · Answer

They're saying no because you're motive is to date a guy, not because you spiritually fit that religion. I don't become Buddhist just to date Asian girls or christian to date european girls. You're religious beliefs should develop independently from whom you're looking to date.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Well the fact that your trying to "convert" for the entirely wrong reason doesn't help. If he likes you he can date you, their is nothing in Islam that forbids a muslim man from dating/marrying a woman who is not muslim as long as they are from one of the monotheistic faiths i. e. jewish or Christian. So that shouldn't even be an issue to begin with. Second, your converting because you have a crush not because you believe in Islam so its not a real conversion. Move on.

sawno · Answer

I do side with your parents on this one, because you are trying to convert for the wrong reasons. He should love you the way you are even if you are not a muslim, and you should only convert if the religion fits your views.
Keep in mind that this kind of islamic behavior is often also against womens rights so do some research before you make your next step.

Jaye234 · Answer

How old are you? Your parents have a good reason for not allowing you to convert- their reason which children do not have to agree, accept or like that reason.
A crush isn't a valid reason for converting to another religion.

Anonymous · Answer

Sure if you want to join a religion of psychos. If you want your boyfriend to abuse you and only be able to wear those hijabs. If you want to one day be murdered in the name of Allah. Islam is horrible and does not belong in America. Shariah Law is the Devil's bible. Don't convert to a hateful religion.

ChancellorCharemagne · Answer

"There's this Arab guy at my school who I have a HUGE crush on and he says that he has a crush on me"

No one fucking cares about how huugggeeee your crush on is, converting for a guy you haven't dated yet is truly idiotic. Get your head out of his ass and listen to your parents kid.

Eugene · Answer

>> My parents won't let me be Muslim, any ideas on how I can change their mind?

You have wonderful parents that truly care about you.
You don't have to change their mind, you have to snap back and change yours.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

They have a point. You're not even dating the guy and he's asking you to convert. If he's asking you at the point when the relationship is more stable (you're engaged or close to) and things like that, then he has the right to. But for now he doesn't.

DonkeyRick69 · Answer

Isn't there a difference between Islam and the nation of islam?
Your parents are right and converting to a religion just for a boy is foolish. Maybe investigate Islam first to see if it's for you, there's no rush as the guy will neither court until you convert to Islam or have sex with you until you are married.

TXKen · Answer

Do not convert for a guy. No guy should expect you to convert just to be taken seriously. The Muslim religion is probably way different than the way you grew up. B I'll labor passing judgement on the way they treat women in Muslim countries. You can research that yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

problem is that guy is crush!..
and once your crush or love ends
you won't want to be Muslim
and there is no coming back from ISLAM

They would rather kill you then let you convert to another religion. '

Your parents understand this that is why they are not agreeing to it!..
because you are literally asking them permission to die in an public Execution!..
and i can promise you your crush will be the one severing that pretty little head of yours from your shoulders..

JJBullfrog · Answer

Don't change your religion for anyone. It should only be in your heart to change. And with that, become a Christian, because God became a human to die for everyone's sins. Don't you think you should love the God that loved you first? Allah is a hateful god (noticed how I used a lowercase g, he's not real). Have you ever heard of suicide bomber Christians? That's because we don't force people to love Jesus.

fred256 · Answer

Hello friend
I think you have to look at it from both ends. You gat to respect your parents decision they are your parents sorry if you cannot come to an agreement with but keep on trying maybe one time they will agree... But in case they don't agree leave it at that you will get someone of your kind oneday

Unit1 · Answer

Under 18

I mean not to show any sign of ageism but you seem to have really no idea about what you are willing to do for just one dude.
Get a clear head and make some research about what you are getting yourself into. And make proper research!
If not then you will only end up being hurt big time and disappointed.

Anonymous · Answer

Why you have to be a muslim? Why can't you practise your own religion? Dont you think the guy is tryin to control you? Muslims are known for their derogatory behavior on women. don't need to believe me... trust google. There are ample examples of that.

Anonymous · Answer

Don't do it. Why do you want to be with someone you have to "change" for? Even if you did convert, I doubt he would take you seriously as a Muslim and would likely catch on that you jumped on that bandwagon to impress him. It'd be worse if that caught his interest, he could perceive you as impressionable and someone people could take advantage of. Definitely not the way you want a guy you're interested in to see you.

Anonymous · Answer

Kid, you're going to regret falling for a guy based on their looks. Is it mainstream to like minorities these days? If you lived in some arab places like I did , it is better off to see what kind of personality they actually have. In Jeddah for example my sister was groomed a lot by this pseudo righteous guy as well as other non-muslim girls. It turned out the boy had a thing for putting up a "nice guy" persona when he had other sexual intentions once he was caught drunk and saying a lot of hideous things. Be careful

DarkBlack9 · Answer

If you convert, you'll end up with a life full of sorrow! Trust me, that life with the Arab guy won't be very beautiful as you think. So, don't convert!

confussionandguilt · Answer

you can't just become a muslim for a guy, if you want to become a muslim you should believe in their religion, and be sure that you want to have the religious muslim type of lifestyle ( im not sure about what it implies,) but your parents won't let you if its just for a guy you have a crush on and you dont even love yet)

Jackblue · Answer

You should not convert to Islam on the basis of romantic interest, it must be because you honestly think it is the correct faith.

karahiri · Answer

jesus christ. STOP PLEASE. listen to your parents. and this is coming from a muslim.

thechico79 · Answer

Don't convert just to date a guy, I have plenty of friends who are dating that are different religions including muslim. If he said that he'll only be with you if you convert doesn't really like you.

Nachowedgie · Answer

So you're not converting for the religion, you're just doing it for a crush, I can see why your parents are against it

marcell_black · Answer

They shut you down because you don't have a good reason to become a Muslim

Starshine85 · Answer

You can't just change your religion for a guy. Not the best reason. You need to know what you are getting yourself in to

Irishboy42 · Answer

Another person should not request you to change for self serving reasons. Religion is important but both and all need to tolerate each others heritage and beliefs. In time y'all can work it all out in your own way not by demand or else reasons

1truekhaleesi · Answer

Why would you drastically change yourself for a guy?

MaiNameIsSunshine · Answer

You’re doing it for a guy? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard this whole month. I can’t.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

Unless you understand and believe in Islam then it is a bad idea to convert to being a Muslim just to be with someone.

soulbabe · Answer

listen to your parents you don't change religion because of a guy that is a no no your under 18 so dont be getting so worked up over a guy who wants to change you i may not like the Muslim religion but if you plan to do it do it for you not him

tartaarsaus · Answer

Sigh. Wanting to convert - which is a very big decision - because of a crush? You're not even dating him. Your parents are right here.  Also, why convert for a crush? His reasoning is pathetic

Mr_Jolly · Answer

If you are going to make such a big life choice, do it for yourself.
You're infatuated and making irrational decisions to be with him.
It could be argued that he could give up his religion to be with you.

Sara413 · Answer

Don't convert to a religion just for some guy... that is silly.

Gypsy_x · Answer

Whilst there is nothing wrong with converting, I would say that your parents issue with it probably stems from the fact you're a teenage girl trying to do it to get with a crush.

Saccharissa · Answer

You really want him to take you seriously, by making a mockery of his beliefs?

stang1558 · Answer

listen to your parents.. they obviously want to protect you from being stoned to death..

Anonymous · Answer

DON'T DO IT! if you decide to leave they will kill you, no questions asked. Regardless what laws and country you live in you are not safe. It's like living in North Korea!

mikeyboy · Answer

Don't become one it sucks especially for women. How do I know you ask? My family are ex muslims! And I turn out to be an atheist

Heyitzmaria · Answer

Only u can choose your religion learn about islam an do what YOU wna do and if u think its right

WeirdoWerdo · Answer

Revert* He surely doesn't know the Quran... Tho no guy or girl should convert to a religion to get someone that means the person puts religion above you and thats not good in any case.

Nick220 · Answer

Ask him to convert to ur religion, if he can't then y should u?

Band_freak · Answer

It's very possible the reason they said no is because of why you want to convert, you can't change your beliefs for a crush

WalterRadio · Answer

You do not have to convert. Moslems are allowed to marry Christians and Jews.

Anonymous · Answer

You are letting your infatuation with a boy, drive you to change your religion. That's so dumb, I'm amazed your parents even let you have access to a computer.

jakeofalltrades · Answer

its one thing to covert because you believe and maybe they would have let you. but to do it just to date a guy is pathetic

Anonymous · Answer

You are aware that becoming a muslim so you can bang someone is the antithesis of a good reason to become a muslim?

decomposingdoll · Answer

They cannot police your mind. I would reevaluate your motives though. Some guy that you have a crush on isn't the best motivation.

YHL6965 · Answer

Why would you want ot become a muslmis as a woman? You would basically become a slave to your husband. There are plenty of stories to back me up. Don't do this, never enter a religion unless your choice only.

HamAndCheese · Answer

If you really are under 18 then I gotta side with your parents. You're too young to be making actual religious conversions just to be with some guy.

TheSpartan · Answer

That doesn’t explain why you want to convert to a religion that’ll put you to death for leaving it.

Twinrova · Answer

How can your parents like Malcom X and Elijah Muhammad at the same time? That's like saying you're both team Edward and team Jacob.

Anonymous · Answer

I mean , should you really converting to a religion because of a crush?

Humpy · Answer

Islam is a really beautiful religion. If you accept it you will get a lot of benefits. All the sins you have done in past will be washed away.

My parents won't let me be Muslim, any ideas on how I can change their mind?

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