I don't want to be a Muslim anymore?

If you're not Muslim, please do not answer.

Lately i have been feeling very conflicted inside my head. I still believe in Allah and the last day but I just can't agree with some of the things Islam allows. For example:

- Men get the Hoor Al Ayn in paradise.
What do women get? Nothing? It was not mentioned and I feel like I am not going to be happy in Jannah so why should I even Strive for it?

- Men are allowed to have up to four wives in Islam. Even though I am not married I can not help but feel like one day when I am married and have kids, my husband will want to take a second wife. This really makes me angry and it makes me want to be single forever.

I keep crying. I want to still be a Muslim because I beleive in Islam but I just can't accept these things. May Allah forgive me for saying this.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "Men will get Hoor Al-ayn in paradise but what do women get?"

    You are talking like if you have 100% guaranteed the paradise and everything is ok for you in the day of judgement and just all you have to worry about is Hoor al ayn.

    -first of all, if you go to Jannah inshallah then you might be one of those Hoor al ayn.
    - the way you think/feel in this life, is not the same way you think/feel in the second life, so to say that I'm not gonna be happy in Jannah is soooo wrong, who is not gonna be happy in Jannah? Astaghfirullah

    "Men can have 4 wives"

    -First of all, you don't have to worry about that considering that only 1% of Muslim marriages are polygamous, and seriously, who wants more than one wife in these circumstances that we have nowadays? And you know very well that the Quran says "if you can't do justice then marry only one"

    -and there's a reason why Allah allowed men to have up to 4 wives (it's optional not a must, so don't worry, men won't get rewarded for that) ... Watch these videos, they explain it better than me https://youtu.be/AlWEvQ4fvY4https://youtu.be/cMBHEMco5js

    • That's why I said that I don't want to Strive for it anymore. I don't even want Jannah anymore. But I still pray for it because I have to

      and to be honest, instead of being given what I desire the desire will just be taken out of my heart. That way I won't desire it anymore. So I really will not have what I want because all that I want (which I can't want) will be taken out of me.

      Lots of men want 4 wives. They want sex after all. That's called cheating

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    • You're welcome :)

    • I hope I never doubt like this ever again lol

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • Atheism is love, Atheism is life.

    • But that's not what I want, I'm scared that I'm becoming one though

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    • House M. D. :: If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people.

      Ok ok, I'll shup up. *Zipp*

  • Ok I am a Muslim my friend and I studied in azhar the answers are :
    1 - yes men get hoor el ein but in heaven u become more prettier than ever like u got a light that lighten earth and heaven literally and he sees u the prettiest thing ever and he stays with u most of the time hoor el ein are like entertainment not like he is gonna prefer them more than they just are there to amuse him and of course there are no sex in heaven it's more like another greater thing we don't know

    2- men can't marry more than one exept the first wife agrees besides that it's haram and Really really really big sin any other thing 😊

    • And don't worry u won't get punished for ur words just always have someone u trust to answer ur questions and I am always here to hel0

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    • What the heck? No

    • First off u don't get me تواتر هذه الأحاديث , and yes hoor el ein are WAYYYY beatiful but when a woman enter paradise is is WAYYYY PRETTIER THAN THEM

  • I believe it is not a bad thing to have doubts sometimes or that you question somethings

    • But doesn't this count as a serious doubt?

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    • I'm trying

    • Many people who do believe will have a period of time like you have now, it is normal. Don't feel to bad about it!! God loves you anyway and understands you!

  • I am not a muslim, but my fiancee is. Lot's of drama and issues with family involved of course.

    If you want to talk about the topic, feel free to write me a private message since some fo the things I would and will say aren't meant for the public.

  • trust me women have the same rights as men and even more if you read and understand the quran right. you can message me later im not available now but i will tell you everythinh

    • I even watched a video about women's rights in Islam not even 30 minutes ago. And I cried because I feel like they're aren't any!

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    • i would never marry to two or three women. and lots of muslims only would marry to one women. marrying to two or three women happens only in saudi arabia or something and not where i live

    • I'm not listening to you because you didn't even read what I wrote.

  • I thought everybody was born muslim

  • So stop being a Muslim. If you live in a free country, just stop. Be happy!

  • dear asker i think u need to watch this too

    • Alright, I will watch it. I just feel like women have no rights and are oppressed. Even though I've read of their rights in Islam but I feel like they are nothing.

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    • Honorable* I mean

      And FYI it is exactly like that

    • Yeah, okay bye

  • Islam, like Christianity, is a cult, and it certainly does not benefit women, it's just a way to exploit and take advantage of them, that's all it's ever been.

    • It's not a cult

    • It is most definitely a cult, all religions are. There is no proof of the existence of any sort of deity, Mohammed was a warlord who converted people by the sword. It's all about power and control.

  • The quran can't be true, but the Bible can be, and in my opinion is, want proves?

    • No I don't. Goodbye

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    • Wow , the first reply made me think of the exact George carlin Quote " My God has a bigger dick than your God."

    • @takumii
      Bigger dicks doesn't matter, only the truth matters.

      If I am right, it can be proved, if it can't be proved I am not right, it's that simple really.

      I can disprove the Quran, it's quite easy actually, and I can refute the accusations against the Bible, I can prove there is no definitive evidence proving evolution from a scientific standpoint either. The end result is the Bibles is at least as likely as evolution and unlike the Quran, it can actually be true.

      You can all believe in whatever you want of course, I am only here to point out a (better) alternative.

What Girls Said 7

  • Hour al ayn: Men needs are more complecated then women (sexual things)
    Men are allowed to have four women:
    Doesn't mean they HAVE to, there are rules on when can he do that, like is he in need for an other wife because his wife doesn't take care of him or doesn't satisfy his desires? Remember marriage has also a goal for controlling our desires so if a wife can't do that, that goal is broken so he must marry an other one to protect his religion, there really a lot of rulling in this matter.
    And no, it is not because that men got all that that we are hated! Heaven is under our feet, not having a lot of mates got only one goal: protect our dignity and purity, have you ever wondered why do we have that delay of time when we are divorced or widowed before getting married again? It is to protect us and protect our purity, sperms stay in our genitals for a certain period of time, so if we marry again before the end of that time we will have a mix of genes, also, our genitals needs time to be prepared for a new mate, like we are used to only one and then suddenly we get a new one so we need preparation, think about it, what if we were allowed to have four men? Will we be different than the other women sleeping around with whoever? Don't think that this is protecting us? There a lot and a lot of other reasons behind this and believe me, you will be thankful for it when you learn them :D you just meed to learn more about your religion ;) so I suggest you to look for Fatawa about this matter and you will never regret it! We all have the right to question things in our religion and Allah never and ever said something in vain until now science has proved a lot of this so just inform yourself about it you will find a lot in google or islamic sites or you can just get in touch with an imam :D in sha Allah you will get free of rhis feeling

    • I am reading and listening to fatwas on the things that I have stated. They only make me angrier and angrier and they make me only hate the religion more. Astagfrallah

      So I don't want to listen to anymore. I am trying to hold onto the Iman I have left

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    • I am sure you will because Allah never gives up on his people :D <3

    • Are u muslim?

  • Its ok to have doubts and ask questions so be aftraid to ask.
    Firstly you would be so much much more prettier than those hoor al ayn.. And you would be free of all the negative feelings you are having right now for example jealousy, haterd or anger etc. Other than that its female nature that they feel satisfied with one male partner however males feel differently. You would get the man of your dreams and he will value you much more than the hoors. Besides you would be so happy jannah otherwise this issue won't even bother you.
    Secondly its only optional for men to marry more.. It says in the Quran that its better if you marry one. Since women are biologically different it wouldn't make sense for them to marry more than one man since they won't be able to tell who the other of the child is.

    • Sorry I mean don't* be afraid to ask lmao :P

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    • Thank u @YazanAA im doing my best. :)

      My God girl.. You are taking such itty bitty little details and exaggerating them with such negatively and bitterness. You're blocking out everything we're saying and repeating your own points over and over again.
      Your desires of this world won't be forgotten by you they aren't even your true desires they are mainly driven by the devil. And after it is over you will realize how foolish you were to be thinking this.
      The women of jannah are going to be like queens and the the hoor al ayn like servant girls they are nothing compared to them. About getting two worldly wives.. It's not even really true. I researched about it and there is only one very vague hadith that sort of states it.. ONLY ONE.
      And all the other things you stated about women being oppressed aren't even half true. Women are equal to men in this has been stated so many times everywhere.. Men have no right to treat them unfarely and they are free to leave any man who abuses them.

    • No where does it say that women are second class citizens. You came to that conclusion on your on based on no valed reasons.

      "... And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in a just manner..."
      Holy Qur'an (2: 228)

  • I think you can write down no second wife in the marriage contract.

    As for the first one, it took me a while to understand that.

    Message me so I can try to explain better.

    Meanwhile @Omar5881 share your wisdom.

  • Talk to an imam or your parents about it before you make your final decision, so you could have a better understanding about Islam. I don't have a perfect understanding about Islam even though I'm Muslim, but does things could be just misconceptions.

  • I know you said you didn't want non-Muslim answers but I have been through a similar situation recently with my religion (Christianity).
    I'd say do some more research into your religion before you make any huge decisions, as you said you still believe in Islam. Or perhaps you could still believe in some aspects but not others (that's what I did). If you're really in doubt, is there anyone you can talk to about it?
    Wishing you the best of luck :)

    • Thanks. Maybe it's just something most Teenagers experience

    • Perhaps, I hope you find the path you'd like to take, though

    • I want to take this path and I want to love it. I'm just having a really hard time though. And thanks, I hope that for you too

  • i have a smillar point with you " what woman get in jannah if the men get angels" i didn't get the answer yet but i still musilm,, for the second one if a man reallly really loves u dont get married another time.. and if a woman have more than one husband when hi got a child no one know who is related to !!

    • I know but I think it is not air astagfrallah

    • its fair just ALLAH knows what he got for females and i think the ANGELS are the man;s wife ALSO did u know !!!

    • Men don't get angels? 😕 angels are limited they r all males well it's most likely no gender and they don't die or reproduce and they have certain duties

  • I live in muslim country but I'm not Muslim.
    Cuz I feel there's so many unfair point and ridiculous point.
    U can't do anything while living which is banned by Allah
    But u can do those in heaven if u were good person in world.
    Having sex with angels, drinking wine waters.. ridiculous
    Also Muhammad got 6 years old wife. if he would be good person enough, he can take that girl as a daughter but he had sex with that girl.
    It's absolutely being pervert in my opinion.
    U don't have to be Muslim if it's not a thing for you, you are free enough to make a choice
    God is precious in Quran but if u are bad person, he gives you new skin and burn you over and over again. it doesn't make sense..
    I'm not Muslim and happy with that.
    I believe I'm good person cuz I'm not robber or murdered. if I'm gonna go to hell just cuz I don't believe in Islam, it's not fair.
    I didn't do anything bad.. people who is muslim but still doing bad things.. and are they gonna go to heaven? Bullshit
    There's no one who knows heaven or he'll are exist.
    I'm not giving a shit..

    • Uh... Okay

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    • When did ur great great grandmother marry I am sure at a very young age in the past women usually married at that age even the story romeo and juliet they loved each other and had sex at the age of 14 and that reflects the culture they come from aisha radya Allah anha the girl that married the prophet NEVER complained about anything in fact she said that she was blesses my that married why the hell are mad about it and she is not

    • Mohammad was chosen by God.
      To me, if u are chosen one, u could do better things that this.
      That romeo and Juliet explain, also great great grandma explain were ridiculous.
      They weren't chosen by God.
      I understand you why you are telling like this, but I need reasons that make sense.