Guy needing a Muslim/hijabi girl to help?

Kashen17
It all started about a year ago. I started talking to this girl on my tennis team, and we became best friends. She is a hijabi, so she had a bunch of rules against talking to me. But eventually I grew strong feelings for her. And then I screwed it up. I am going to be honest, I forgot what I did. But we stopped talking for a little until I apologized. Everything was the same, until we just got used to not talking and being depressed. We both felt not talking to each other was like ripping at each other's souls. This continued until the end of school, where the night of she sent me a paragraph about how sorry she was, and that she liked me for a little bit (a week or two). I replied with another paragraph, but the rest of summer we didn't talk the same. Things were awkward. Well naturally I got tired of it. So I wrote her a long, well thought out poem. She sent me something back, letting me know she doesn't believe we can get things the way we used to, but she misses me almost as much as I miss her. But again, she said she didn't have feelings for me. That was last night, and I am so confused on what to do. I want her back. I'm gonna be honest, I've had a good amount of crushes and a girlfriend before. I can't describe what I feel for this girl. I feel like, I was supposed to meet her. That me talking to her was important. That I am an important part of her life. And usually, when I have a crush on a girl, or when I had my girlfriend, I was able to see other girls as pretty, or I'd still (for the lack of a better term) bang another girl that I saw. But now, I can't look at other girls. I just feel like there is nobody better than this one girl. I literally don't have the ability to recognize a girl as attractive anymore, besides this one girl. This is eating me away. I need help. Ask for my kik for screenshots if you want, and if you have read this far thank you. All help would be appreciated. Don't tell me I can't fix it cause I believe I dont have any limitations.
Updates
+1 y
I didn't mean the "bang another girl" part, I meant to say "I'd still see other girls as a girl I'd bang"
Guy needing a Muslim/hijabi girl to help?
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