Advice for someone who feels flooded with misfortune?

[Anonymous]

I understand that innately nobody is good. I accepted that a long time ago. My understanding was that hopefully the more good I did the better my life would be. But it’s backfired a lot. Good gestures get unappreciated, loyalty is met with disloyalty, direct and honest communication is met with passive aggressive or cop outs, trying to control my own temper gets taken as weakness, being generous gets taken advantage of. And often I try to be the kind of person who I want to meet or receive. Not that I never fall short but I make a constant effort and if anyone calls me out I do make my best efforts to improve. However, I can’t remember a time when anyone has ever told me “your a bad person.” Or anything of that nature. Usually people tell me I’m doing everything right. Even if I beg people to admit to some flaw or shortcoming I have I never get an answer. I even constantly have people at work tell me “your the nicest person I ever worked with.” So even though I know that I’m not innately good I must be having some impact that people who know me often perceive me as good. But often, it feels like it’s just me and god against the very world which praises “goodness” but perpetually takes it for granted. And more often than not, it feels like it’s me begging for guidance and answers in tearful prayer and thanking Him for my blessings which little by little keep getting taken away from me in one form or another whether it’s losing something that made me happy or never finding joy in my life and pleading for a blessing. I believe that it very well may be something I did or something in me that deserves it and I try-I try SO hard to see the bigger picture but I am depressed. I beg god daily for help. But even as I write all this I don’t just want to complain. I do want that answer I seek so much as to why bad things overwhelm me in this way?

[Anonymous]

There is an erroneous belief that people have that being a good person equals having a good life—as if there aren’t horrible people living in luxury, carefree, and happy as the day is long.

Conversely you could literally spend your life helping people and end up perpetually struggling to make ends meet and barely get by. You could volunteer at soup kitchens and orphanages and work two jobs, and just suffer for your entire life.

Don’t try to understand it. You’ll only make yourself go mad. Some people get the breaks in life, and some people get the short end of the stick.

[jshm2]

Seems you attract a lot of drama, and cause a lot of drama.

Get some better hobbies, be more attentive, and give alms as well as do more charitable work.

Shitty things happening are often the symptom of you knowingly or unknowingly doing shitty things.

[Asker]

By shitty things I meant having rude customers at my job constantly, having a gun pulled on me by my alcoholic father because I was asleep when he called to get into the house, having my brother and mother have schitzophrenic episodes that caused me to have to work at a job I hate in order to raise my sisters because my mom was unwell and my dad was an alchoholic and my oldest brother was violent. Being left for another girl by my boyfriend a month after I took him back after he begged me to give him another chance since I had broken up with him telling him “I suspect your seeking another relationship but I don’t have proof but I’m not trying to stop you from being happy so please leave me alone” only to have him lie to me in order to return, waking up to learn that my favorite cousin was murdered during a time when my depression was so bad that I didn’t want to live but having to stay strong because I had people to look after. Having a friend hate me because I was too busy overworking to support myself and two kids (my younger siblings) to make it to her birthday party and then finding out from other friends that she was just jealous of my physical looks and was looking for a reason to break up the friendship. I really feel like these are all things that are out of my control

[FreyaRed]

Your inner child that starts every impulse that creates perception about surrounding world isn't loved and happy. If your deepest needs aren't sadistic or of pathological nature you should satisfy them to help yourself. Antidepressants change neurochemical balance but they don't affect how a feeling or a though arises.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, stop playing the victim.🤣🤣🤣