How do you get around loved ones when you want to do anything?

[WindAtMyBack5]

When I want to go and get a hotel room to get a break from everything at home or go out of town, someone always has a birthday or wants me to do something with them, it feels like they are diverting my plans and I have to be beholden to them.

I have to be beholden to my family, my neighbors and our community, it's like one thing I want to do could affect how someone will react or what they will do, it's like a psychological thing, what do you call that? It's not like I am a selfish person, I just never really went anywhere on my own without my family and doing something that someone else approves of.

Should I just call it quits on my life and give up, because every time I try to be 'independent' and do something on my own someone always makes a bad choice or something, I'm not responsible for their bad choices, especially my younger brother and his wife, they always jump into a new house or apartment and get a TV, but wait later to take care of their financial stuff. It's all about impressing people, where most don't care what anyone thinks.

Aside from that, I'm not my brother, I'm not married, but how can I be when I'm just in the house with my mother and only going somewhere when it is someone's birthday or a dinner party, I want to compromise this, but I have to live my life for me, and not just when someone doesn't do something on a whim, what do you think?

[StarWarGirl]

Being born and raised among our loved ones makes us feel like we owe them, make us feel bound to them we do forget our own indentity. We tend to dismiss the thought of "self".

It's a situation where a parrot was kept in cage because of their protection, got fed really well got loved by everyone has nothing to complaint about but when time has come and gate has got open still that parrot hesitate to fly in sky, which is his actual identity still that parrot hesitate because he thinks he ows his protector for all love and comfort he got.

But he forgets that, getting those love and protection was actually the right thing. It was your rights to get protected those days to get loved those days. It doesn't comes under any kind of "favor". And actually no matter someone saves our life still we don't own anyone anything. Nothing is enough to make ourselves lose our self identity, compromise with it or feel like bound or slave to anyone.

You are MOST RESPONSIBLE towards YOURSELF. In this whole world. Towards your own happiness towards your own identity. Before that nobody comes not even spouse or children.

Yes if that parrot would fly then some people would be there to blame that parrot that he became selfish, or we did this much for them still he went away but those are words of a immature mind.

So it's only you to decide what is important for you? You still want to feel like slave and compromise with your needs, you still want to keep yourself bound with that invisible chain what only exist in your brain has no reality? Or you want to be true to yourself? Want to be truly happy?

You are very much allowed to decline to not attend party and take some alone time for yourself. You are very much allowed to go out of house for some "me" time. You need to understand this. All this restrictions only exist in your head. Let people speak whatever they want to. You need not to be responsible for their immaturity or non understanding mind.

[StarWarGirl]

As far as you are being respectful and not ignoring your actual responsibilities you are very much allowed to go for what you truly love or what you truly needs. Non important things can be ignored. Or can be keep behind in your priorities list.

[Chazmatazz269]

Welcome to manhood!
Men are expected to provide and produce for others, particularly women and children. If you’re not doing that, most people will tell you that you’re no man at all. If you want things for yourself you’ll be compared to a child or a woman, or called one outright.
Only women have had a liberation movement. Men have not. The expectations of us haven’t changed one bit and likely won’t any time soon. Maybe your grandchildren’s grandsons will be allowed to pursue their individual happiness without critical judgments. Not us. Not today. Return to service or be damned, Cog.

[Avicenna]

Well, you take charge of things and say no sometimes.

[strateguy632]

just prioritize kids the rest ignore