How do you live with grief that still feels fresh after many years?

[Humbertleinad]

It’s been over 10 years, and sometimes I honestly wonder how something that happened so long ago can still feel so fresh. You think you’ve moved forward, then a memory, a song, a place, or even a quiet moment brings everything back.

There are days when I feel like I’m stuck in the same place, carrying something I thought I should have learned to put down by now. And if I’m being completely honest, there have been times when I don’t know what has kept me going except God and the Bible.

Maybe healing doesn’t always mean forgetting or getting completely over it. Maybe sometimes it means learning how to carry the loss without letting it destroy you.

For those of you who have lived with grief for 10, 15, 20 years or more, how do you deal with it when it still feels fresh? What has helped you keep moving when you feel stuck?

[Anonymous]

Well let me first say nothing i say will fix this. Because in God's original design there was supposed to be no death. We were never supposed to feel this pain. This cannot be fixed, only managed until you see them again in the next life. And you WILL see them again. I deal with it by reminding myself this life is temporary. But the love they felt for you, they still carry. So in that sense, they are not gone. And they wanted the best for you when they were here, death does not change that. They would want you to carry on. I try to view it as the people i care about when they left this world took a lot of love with them. So i have to make my light shine all that much brighter to make up for that shortage of love this world now feels. My mother always used to say if ever you feel down help somebody else. Not only does it help distract you but helping is as close as you get to God in this world.

[Humbertleinad]

I needed these words

[strateguy632]

i was sad when my gramma died. but i live in 'now' the moment. i was not thinking about her because i was now traveling. now working now cooking etc. i was over the sadnes the next morning.

[strateguy632]

the problem is you plan to 'live with grief' instead of saying 'i greeved *enuf' and stop seeing what you lack but see what you have.

[Masie]

Healing takes time and some wounds never really heal all the way. The most you can do is lean on family and friends for support and help when you have a bad day.

You will have those. Things will trigger memories and bring that grief and pain back to light. What is important is to learn what works for you to get through those moments.

Maybe it is a certain family member or friend that is particularly good at helping you. That is what you have to figure out. What helps?

[Humbertleinad]

The word of God has helped me more, finding emotional support from people seems to be very difficult because I live far from my loved ones

[Masie]

That is good that you found something that helps. It doesn't have to be a person. I was just using it as an example.

Whatever works is the key, and you found something that helps you.

[Humbertleinad]

Thank you very much

[Masie]

You're welcome and be well.

[Masie]

Thanks for mho.

[Anonymous]

You never really forget. You need family and hobbies to keep your mind and your body occupied. Religion helps some. The memories will be triggered sometimes but you can't dwell on them and let them consume you. Acknowledge them and then find something to focus on.

[Humbertleinad]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

Sadly you will never forget. There will be random moments where it hits you all over again. It gets easier though so hang in there ❤️

[Humbertleinad]

This has been a huge problem to me over the years

[Opinion Owner]

Me too since I lost my dad. Surround yourself with people that love you

[Humbertleinad]

Sorry about your loss, I hope you find peace 🙏 I'll put you in my prayers

[Opinion Owner]

Likewise 🙏🏾

[Anonymous]

@Humbertleinad I don't know or can't tell what's going on with you but I think you really do need to find peace and love