How do you handle grief?

[meetkitty123]

How do you manage stress or grief?
there's a lot going on lately for everyone.
___________________________________________
I have had many ups and down this past 2 years. More recently I have had a very sick spouse since mid Feb. Little over a week ago he was even on life support after a 7th surgery but he pulled through. A little further back we had a family member pass. I was unable to attend the funeral because my husband was having his 6th surgery on the same day.
Now about 2 hours ago I received a call that my cousin was being taken out of her on a stretcher. She past away from an aneurysm before the ambulance made it to her home.
This is the second family member on my dad's side we lost this month. She was only a few years older than I. I saw over vid about a week and a half ago. So unexpected.😞
________________________________________
In the meantime I have tried to keep busy. Answered random questions on gag and booked flights for family members. Its like my mind was running on overtime auto pilot. Now that the flights are figured out. I been left feeling hallow. I tried talking to my spouse but with his dementia he wasn't understanding me. He didn't understand why I had been looking at flights. He couldn't understand who died or why I was sad. In away I've lost him too. His body is here but the man I once knew is gone.
________________________________________
I been managing these past months by

• keeping busy working
• I try to chat with others and listen to other people's troubles. It helps to get out of my own head
• Posting on gag
• Taking kids to the park
• Exercising
• I've made time to see a therapist
• I avoid the news throughout most if the week. Maybe tune in once a week to avoid added stress

So What are your methods of coping?

Updates

+1 y

I just came back from dropping off family at the airport for a late night flight. They're going to help out my Aunt and help with the funeral. Its hard being so far from family and having a sick spouse to tend to. I can't just drop everything and go during times like this. All I can do is send prayers.

[ohshee]

I guess it depends on what kind of grief like sorrow like a death no matter what it's going to be painful but you have to stop yourself and you have to remember the good times you have to remember the funny times there was a question on here yesterday about laughing so hard you pee your pants and my Aunt Louise I could get her laughing so hard she would cry and she would hold herself because she was peeing her pants and I would just keep going and going and going and she passed away about 8 years ago and the girls question had brought back memories and I kind of figured that's my aunt talking to me about my mom and the girls question it was so funny it was so beautiful because it reminded me of my aunts. And without her question I might not have ever felt the way that she made me feel by asking a question Bizarro Bizarro grief is grief it's the same time that you're grieving smile because they're going to a better place smile because you got the opportunity to know somebody that's just a beautiful person you can't just try and wish and dream you got to love you got your smile and you got to save them for being in your life I do with it by smiling I do invite accepting the truth whatever it is and I remember the good times I remember positive things

[meetkitty123]

Thank you I have been thinking a lot about us as cousins... She put toothpaste in my hair I was so angry then but now it made me laugh funny how its laughable as a grownup

[ohshee]

I know for me the older I get the wiser I get
Or maybe it could be I just under standthings or myself deeper.
Or maybe I just understand people better and deeper
I'm going to go with all the above.
Like really is just way too short the amount of things did I would love to experience in this world and I hope I can find time for every single one of them because that's why I'm here to experience everything to understand it

I'm a very patient person and I can look back and say I didn't waste too much time by being negative but there is still time involved it could have been for something positive

And if you think about it we have evolved into the same thing in a roundabout way and there's one answer that branches out two bunch of little answers that goes back into one answer

We all have choice
With Choice
We have
God devil
Right wrong
Positive negative
Love hate
Hello goodbye
Happy sad
Yes no
So on and so on
The choice of two options
When option is love other option is fear everything we do in life has a choice I'll be there good or bad and I look at the bad side of all the above and how much time has been wasted when the bottom line is we don't have to have that bad side we could all live on the good side we all came from the same God
we are all one and the day that we all decide to understand this and to go that way
it' will be the day that change all of our lives we won't have that other side that negative side the time waster
times is time that has no time..
It's sad that it takes us so long to understand things and to snap out of it and say what the hell am I doing why was I angry over something so stupid
Well like always trying to say 5 different things for one question I hope you can read in between the lines and figure it out LOL

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

My way of coping is just to talk about it, from 1996-to 2008 I manage to lose my Grandparents, Uncles, My Mom, etc... My late maternal grandma's birthday was
yesterday she would have been 109 years old... She passed due to Dementia at
age 85 she was a wonderful woman who would give her heart to anyone no matter
who they were... I helped care for my grandparents when they were sick my mom
passed within 14 days of having a cancer diagnosis she was in 2 different Hospital stays and a nursing home... My heart goes out to you and I pray God Blesses you and your family trust me it's rough losing them. 👼🙏

[meetkitty123]

Well Im sorry for your lost too. I know dementia and its not pretty.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@meetkitty123 Thank you, yeah I cried so much over my grandma, seeing what it did to her was sad but I made this far

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for Most Helpful Guy :)

[WonderBell99]

There is no set form for grief, and no ‘right’ way to express it. There seems to be an expectation that, after a great loss, we will progress systematically through the well-known stages of grief. It is wrong, we are told, to jump to anger — or to wallow too long in this stage before moving towards acceptance. It’s best to not bottle up your feelings. . . talk to someone you’re close with. It may help you feel better. I’m glad you’ve made plans to meet with a therapist. That’s a good choice 💛

Keep yourself busy, do something productive. Take a walk in the park. More importantly, put your mental health above everything else. If you want to cry, cry! Nothing is more therapeutic than crying. I lost one of my classmates to suicide in 9th grade. She was depressed and had lost her mother recently. I did not have many friends, and I was fairly close with her. It affected me deeply. I reminisced the wonderful times I had with her, i still think of her sometimes. Think of the happy times you had with your cousin. Don’t focus on her loss, but rather the wonderful life she lived.

I’m very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. My condolences. Sending loads of love and hugs ❤️

[meetkitty123]

Thank you I appreciate. Im doing my best keeping busy. I can't go see my family but I can help out by taking other family members to the airport. It makes me feel as im contributing. In the meantime I think about our childhood and that helps too.

[ering987]

Keep being you! You have been through a lot and that is a testament to your ability. I know it gets tough but just remember you aren't alone there are many of us out there who both sympathize with you and look up to people like you as inspiration to get through our own stuff. Hang tough you got this

[meetkitty123]

Thank you

[Bricealan]

I read through your post and cannot imagine what you are going through. After reading what you are doing to cope, I am in agreement with you at to what you are doing, and I would probably do the exact same, as I cannot imagine doing more or less that what you are doing. That is what I would probably do under the same circumstances.

I certainly feel for you and hope you can find some kind of calm with all of the terrible things you are going through.

Bruce

[meetkitty123]

Thank you

[Guardian45]

Last year, I lost my BFF unexpectedly too soon soon. Like your loss she was too young. I was hurting very bad, but fortunately, my girlfriend was there for me when I felt at my worst. My suggestion is to reach out to someone you trust, who loves you, for support! My Condolences on your Loss!😪

[meetkitty123]

Yes I recall about your friend. Its ashame to lose people when they're in their prime. Sorry for you're lost too. NRTT TOY 💜🐻🫂

[Guardian45]

Thank you. You're too kind.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I had very deep sorrow in my past regarding something I suffered at the time.

One thing that helped me was to verbalize my pain and struggle to let it all the negative energy out (you can do this alone) and the other was to focus on God and the Bible since I'm religious.

[meetkitty123]

Thanks I'm trying to let out the pain. And when I went to church today I sent up a prayer for my cousin and her immediate family who I know are hurting bad

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I sit down outside somewhere quiet and close my eyes and I think about what's stressing me out.

The first step to dealing with any problem is accepting the situation you're in. So really let yourself go step by step what got you into your situation. Figure out what specifically about it is having what effect on you and then you'll be able to focus on the future/present rather than just the past.

[Blaine999]

My method of coping isn't advisable, but it's the only way I know. I bury it and lock it away instead of dealing with it, I had to do this at a fairly young age; it has changed me and these days I have to be very careful with just how much stress or grief that I subject myself to.
I'm very sorry for your loss luv

[meetkitty123]

I've done this before. Sometimes I do this for basic stressers. It helps filter what needs to be dealt with now and what can be dealt with later.

[dorksided1]

sorry for what you are going through--i lost both my parents back to back and have zero family left, so art, movies, music and getting out just even to walk around in a store around others

[meetkitty123]

Im sorry for your lost. I couldn't imagine not having my father.

[OlderAndWiser]

I am very sorry to hear about all the burdens you now have. I cope by keeping busy and productive and I confront my grief after everyone has gone home and I am alone.

[exitseven]

I bury it deep and don't think about it. If I do think about it I refuse to let myself get bogged down in it. After a while I have it internalized. It stays with me like a rock in my boot.

[Yucy_Gluttony]

Crying alone, come to a conclusion and get off my ass!

[DaveToo]

As I always have, I go through the process of grieving and eventually the grief softens, and I retain the good memories.

[Cowboy6666]

I try to keep myself busy and go for a walk, Use GAG, Watch Youtube, look after my plants, sometimes reading, Take bath, give tuition to my students, try to look for someone online to chat with etc.

[Rudon00]

For me it about retreating from the world. Take a time out.

Communicate with God and gather myself together to renew my perspective on life

[msc545]

Time is the only antidote for grief, sadly. Therapy can help a lot if the grief is unbearable.

[jimmy2]

You are a caregiver and I going to open up a business for that

[Anonymous]

In fact, we are all being tested in this world. God wants you at his door by keeping them alive.

[Jouth]

I punch it right in the face.

[Jouth]

I didn't actually read your post, I just skimmed it barely right now.

It sounds like you're going through a ton right now.

I want you to know I'm praying for you:)

May your load getter lighter and your days get brighter!

[meetkitty123]

Thank you so much for the kind words

[Jouth]

You're very welcome

[TX651]

Cry it out alone.