Yeah I just went through this about two and a half months ago I lost my dad..
And then probably a month and a half ago I lost my mother..
I had only met my real dad probably about 5 or 6 times and a couple of those times were for a long period of time so I got to know him pretty well
My mom I moved out of the house when I was 16 and a half.
About three and a half 4 years ago she moved in with me she was living with my sister and nephew and my sister son my nephew was a bully to his mother and my mom and she wanted out of there she has full blown dementia Alzheimer's so I could not let her just go live someplace so I let her moved in with me
And that was all good until probably about the last 9 months of her life because I couldn't go to work I couldn't do anything I had to take care of her and that was the worst job I've ever had in my life I would not wish that on my worst enemy it's heartbreaking
But before she passed she did tell me that I turned out to be a very good man a very very good man and she was really proud of me of who I had become
You got to make me feel good because I never heard that before she said a lot more but not going to get into it but it was nice to hear that after all said and done..
. For me the way that I handled it is it my belief is since we are all energy and everything on this planet is energy the body falls to the ground the soul the spirit and the energy who we truly are goes into another dimension. And they start laughing again..
I don't really look at them as being gone even though they do miss them or the conversations that I had but I just know that one day we'll see each other again..
And the biggest thing is is you have to accept it you have to acknowledge it that they're gone from this planet Earth right now or into another dimension or even they died and you have to accept it and you have to say well I will think of the good times it kind of gets depressing if you allow yourself to go there but there's nothing you can do about it and you have to be thankful that there are no more pain you have to look at all the positives and remember all the positives
I mean for me it's weird because she moved into my house and she died in my house and I still hear her once in a while or I hear her TV on even though I know it's not true but there are times when I will be in my room and I'll get up just because I thought I heard her call me or something and it doesn't done on me until I'm halfway out of my room that it wasn't her she's not here and I think that's kind of funny
. Do you find your way it's okay to l to miss them. It's okay to talk to them and it's okay to answer for them LOL
. I can tell you this though if you have a loved one that is getting ready to pass you should not only be there to communicate with them and let them know that everything is okay and let them know that you love them and remember Good times because once that's all that spirit that body that entity is gone..
You can't have any of those moments back
I think would help me was the first month I would run into one of my friends and they would say sorry I heard about your mom and just to talk about it for a few minutes I think help me.
I'm a coin collector and I have found a lot of pennies laying around lately a lot of feathers too
. One day if you want to smile go down to the dollar store by yourself a balloon helium is it write a note before they blow it up and put the note in there let them put helium in it walk outside and let the blue go you never know who might find it but whatever message you put in there they might relate to it too and you might help them if you ever need to talk or anything you can DM me anytime you want if I'm on here I won't answer you if I'm not on here I won't answer you until I see it when I come back home but I hope you're okay I know you'll make it we all will we all do but it's only going to get easier and better when you allow it to you can only grief. Or mourn for so long...
And it will change you but yeah I'm sorry about your loss and like I said if you ever want to talk just send me a DM I'll be happy to talk with you
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Anonymous
(18-24)
21 d
Don't drink, do drugs or take antidepressants. Let yourself grieve. Continue to live, work, go to the gym though it's difficult.
When my brother hung himself it hurt the family really badly. My mother was devastated, my younger brothers and sisters were acting up drinking doing drugs failing in school, bad boyfriends and I was emotionally frozen unable to work or sleep. My father had to continue on looking after my mother, arranging the funeral, taking care of my brothers and holding down his job. It's amazing how helpful and could people can be during these times, also shocking how cold, ruthless, manavolent and opportunistic people can be during these times.
My father didn't get time to grieve he had to keep going on for everyone else's sake. My sister said a few times that he didn't care and how could he go to work when my brother wasn't cold in his grave but she was immature and stupid. Even to this day she can't see that if our father had shut down like we all did or ended up in a mental home like our mother or drunk himself stupid every night like she did the whole family would have collapsed. That's no mortgage paid so my parents would have lost their house and we'd all be homeless, no income from work if he'd no job, he'd have blown their savings quickly so no money for her to go to college etc, no health insurance, no cars, no money for food or clothes and so on. He did what he had to do for his family. Having to be strong like this started taking its toll on him in the form stress related ailments. He also wasn't the same man for a year or two, he wasn't the sharp nonsense take no shit guy he was before and others at work took advantage of that.
My ways of understanding how to cope with deep grief will be greatly different from how my body will actually process it first hand. Grief can come in anxiety and depression, sometimes leaving the individual stuck but in their own time, things will progress if they’re ready. We can’t make people grieve, it will make the process harder for them.
I think one way to deal with grief is to appreciate what you have left and to force yourself to appreciate what new things are coming your way. It might seem awkward and low value at first, but the process of appreciating what remains and what you are newly building will lead to a wonderful life later on.
historically, avoidance and bewilderment. I've learned to be more accepting of life and feel the pain, reflect on what was and accept the only thing that is... right now.
Seek emotional support and ways to feel good, with friends, family, animals. Grief share... talking process, talking to God... getting it out and accepting.
The religious solution is realize and accept that you are not separted, that death is a passing to the next, not an end. I think science in some ways, supports that concept.
It depends on what you're grieving. I had friends die on me from drugs and alcohol, it never really hit me that hard. Losing my dog and grandpa did though. I kind of isolated myself to grieve, remember the good times, and get myself straight to deal with other people.
Continuing to work, and keep yourself busy help too. About the worst thing you can have when you feel down is a lot of time to do nothing but think.
I lost my Mom and my older brother 3 months apart from each other last year , and I am still grieving about it , I don’t think it will ever go away to be honest with you , my life felt like it started going downhill since then and I try to keep my head up and stay positive the best way I can , but at times it isn’t easy. Don’t ever let someone tell you to get over your grieving , that person has no clue what they are talking about
The memories and connection you shared with that loved one is only something you have , no one else. So understand there is no time limit of grieving. If it gets too hard for you , I suggest you participate in grief counseling which can help you manage it better
The usual mourning phase, feeling overwhelmed with sorrow, anger, frustration, powerlessness, in no specific order, for an undefined amount of time. Until healing comes, if it comes.
These are just words though, experiencing these words, living and feeling them entirely is not describable at all.
Everything happens for a reason... We don't understand the wisdom behind such things Our destiny our life is designed by the best of planner that is the almighty!!
Plus there is more grief of others than us like Palestinians they r suffering since last year but there faith is determined and they do not blame God but rather they accept what is written for them their children!!!
I don't have to imagine, when you loose your parents it is not something you "Just get over" I was able keep an even keel for the first month or so, then I ended up using a gym to burn off the frustration and anger.
I compartmentalize and lock it away, never to deal with it. Monday will be a decade since my dad passed and I still have not fully come to grips with it.
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Anonymous(18-24)21 d
21 d
