Search Results: noticing the little things

29F, have been told I’m pretty/attractive, have a younger face which is how I could be deemed as cute instead. When I tell you I’ve never been approached by a guy I’d actually want to date, I get attention from guys in person but it’s usually the questionable ones. I’ve been told on and off in the past that a guy I found attractive would look at me/found me attractive but never did anything about it (I’m too shy to also). I don’t have any in person friends as I work remote & sadly only rely on dating apps. The guys I match with I find attractive but not sure if I’m just unlucky (likely the case) or it’s dating apps as a whole but for some reason it doesn’t work out for a multitude of reasons. If those guys actually noticed me in person I would feel a little bit more secure. My thing is I’m pretty old in my opinion, as most people my age are married & have kids. I only have a str under my belt from a few years ago when I was in my early twenties & have been single since. I have this mindset that if I was actually attractive, I would’ve had quality guys lined up by now. Since that str, I’m very selective & am even quicker to stop something in its tracks if the guy does something that turns me off/isn’t what I’m fully looking for. I think dating has treated me very unfairly as “pretty girls” don’t deal with this, unless I’m missing something. And I’ll add this even though it shouldn’t matter that much in the very early talking stages: I don’t care about sex much at all, maybe overthinking it but unsure if that vibe is picked up on being so reserved.

TLDR: would you also think you’re unattractive if you’re almost thirty & don’t ever get attention from guys you’d actually consider dating?

My fiancé and I have been together for 4 yrs-engaged for 1 yr. I moved to his home state and into the home of him and his grandma. There’s no real drama except our relationship is done it seems

Today is his birthday (12/14) and he sends me this text.

His grandma was out of the house since she was in the hospital leaving us alone almost 6 days. For once he didn’t have to keep doing everything little thing she asks him to do and he had peace for once. But I noticed he was “bored” a lot. That alarmed me since he wasn’t taking advantage of the peace and freedom he had for once.

We are in our mid 20’s and he has never had the house alone in years! So it’s weird he wouldn’t enjoy it. But I’ve come to the conclusion that he likes taking care of her EVERY single need even if he has no energy to focus on himself let alone OUR RELATIONSHIP.

Don’t think I’m jealous & inconsiderate & don’t want him taking care of his grandma, that’s what I admired about him. I work all day so by the time I get home @ 6/7pm I only get 1-2 hrs of his time and in the mix of that she’s calling him to get something else.

it’s to the point where we haven’t had any dates but our weekends consist of running errands for her. I tell him I wants dates but that’s hasn’t happened.

I tell him we need quality he shuts down and gets upset as if I’m asking for too much. The topic of getting or saving up for our own home is now contingent on his grandma’s at home nurse capabilities on taking care of her. But 2 months earlier we agreed to start saving.

Is he breaking up with me?

I find myself at the center of gossip from other women (who over interpret every little thing I do and twist it to suit their narrative, try to find me flaws, spread rumours to isolate me at work, try to isolate me, smear campaign, illegal recording, hacking into my google account etc) and of stalkerish males.

The repeating element in all of this is me at the center of this mess. My usual go-to is to ignore, smile and get away as fast as I can while pretending not to notice to not start any fight.

What should I do if this keeps reoccuring? This has to be a life lesson, right? So does that mean I am supposed to act differently and if so, how?

PS: it does not have to do with my CHOSEN relationships, these are people I did not select and who just try to get in. So this is not an issue of me needing to surround myself with better people. This has to do with me attracting weirdos.