Understanding Women’s Social Nervousness

ManOnFire

I write this for guys who feel frustrated or confused by the way women can seem sometimes when they’re interacting with them, particularly who are young or just don’t have a lot of experience in mingling with females. So I want to offer a little perspective on what might be going when you talk to her in school, at an event, etc. Most times it really has nothing to do with you, but more about them.

Understanding Women’s Social Nervousness

Women are hypersensitive about appearance

A common gender misconception is that men are more visual and care about looks in a person more than women, and this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Women tend to be much more visual and concerned about appearance, and not just about their own but also other women’s, and yours as well. To the point where you may notice a woman you’re chatting with is literally running her eyes all over your face in some moments, studying your pores and skin to see how clean and clear it is, or almost grimacing if they see imperfections in it like acne, moles, dark circles, scars, etc. Women pay extra attention to physical details, it's just how they are.

Women are ultra aware in social situations

Similar to caring about physical appearance, women are very sensitive about social appearance as well. And this is because they are creatures that care more about social image and being seen. It's just their nature. They have a tendency to be more concerned about how they look in front of others, and the prettier the woman is (by conventional standards anyway) the worse it is. Believe it or not, females are way more afraid of looking stupid or doing/saying something embarrassing than you are, and they fear the actions of others will make her feel it as well, even if those actions really aren't embarrassing.

Interesting fact: women suffer from social anxiety more often than men. "The lifetime prevalence rate is 13.3%, with rates of 15.5% in women and 11.1% in men." - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10335674/
Understanding Women’s Social Nervousness

They care what other people are going to think

Women often worry about being watched in public/social situations, and they are often very concerned about what others will think of them with who she’s being seen talking to. You might also notice their face flushing in nervousness when talking to you as well, or you may notice that she isn't like this with other guys. If you are unusual in personality or your own physical appearance, the more nervous she becomes in a social situation with you. Or also if you're a guy she is actually really attracted to and you talk to her, she might become nervous because she feels like the whole world can see through her.

Thinking of you as an oddball

You also have some situations where a girl will tell other people how “weird” a guy was, or “he makes me feel so weird.” He most likely was not, but she says that because others who saw might think so, or simply because she felt weird and awkward talking to you, or because you're a guy who did not act in a way she would've expected from others, which is not necessarily bad, it's just your own different way. It’s not your fault, it’s just how they are. They will also sometimes call a guy weird as a cover for the fact that they actually like him but they know others might not. Women often times say something about some guy, just for you to find out later that she likes him and/or they slept together.

Women feel embarrassed by other people in social situations

Ever heard of the term second-hand embarrassment? Also sometimes called Spanish shame, or fremdschämen in German. It’s when someone feels embarrassed by what someone else is doing, and it’s a very common thing in people, it’s just that most don’t know that’s why they “feel weird” with certain others. It tends to be extremely common with affluent people/groups but also much more common with women than with men.

Understanding Women’s Social Nervousness

They will feel embarrassed at hearing someone speak who is not conventionally popular, socially recognized, physically attractive, etc. Or they will feel embarrassed just by your body language or the way you express yourself in a social setting, and will worry that it’s some kind of shameful reflection on them. There is usually nothing wrong with how you are, you are just different and have your own personality, but she doesn’t know what to do with it because she is used to people/groups that she relates to or what she feels just look better socially.

You feel like things are complicated after talking to a girl

Women - but it is almost always younger females - have a tendency to make things awkward when a guy is interacting with them, because they often perceive almost everything you do or say as being something flirty, and they overthink very small words and details and try to figure out “what it means” that a guy did or said such and such. But it’s also self-centered and conceited of them to deduce that any male’s actions or words with them revolve around some kind of perceived attraction in the female brain.

Understanding Women’s Social Nervousness

This is why later on if you sometimes talk to a girl a second time and she’s acting funny or like she’s trying to avoid you, she already made up in her mind that what you said/did last time was some kind of flirtation or move from you, without actually considering any of the facts. She just overthought you, and then created awkwardness because of it. You of course have situations where a guy really was acting or saying things in a weird way or like they're coming on to a girl, but more often than not, girls are just perceiving all actions from guys as being that way, because they've been overly taught that they're desirable and that all men want them.

Keep talking to them

I hear a lot of guys in today's world always saying why they don't talk to girls anymore and advocating the independent RedPill life. I'm not here to push that. Regardless of girls' strangeness in being social, do not give up, become frustrated, or feel like you shouldn't interact with them.

Understanding Women’s Social Nervousness

I simply want you to have a better understanding so you can navigate them easier. I won't lie, it can be stressful at times, especially when it's with a female friend or other female you're close to, and she's just acting all weird and funny in public or a social situation. You wonder what's going on with her. Is it you? Something else? You don't have to stop talking to them, but you can eliminate the ones who are really messed up, and keep it moving. Trust me, there is always a better one to meet.

Namaste, and good luck.

Understanding Women’s Social Nervousness
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