I think my guy friend is projecting, how should I approach him about it?


So first my friend is about 2-3 years younger than me (I’m 24 he’s 21) we used to be coworkers but now we work at other jobs now.

A quick little background about him, he used to be bullied and picked on a lot by girls in school (they would call him fat/ugly etc.) and I can relate to him cause I had a similar experience in school too with both boys and girls. We hangout a lot with our other friends and play video games together.

Anyway I didn’t notice this until mid/late last year he kinda started saying negative things about women. At first I didn’t catch it cause he was mentioning a coworker who wore a crop top and he could see body hair on her. Now this was understandable cause they’re around food all day. But then he started mentioning women in general saying “I didn’t even know girls could grow hair there. That’s disgusting.” I didn’t say anything cause I have body hair myself and felt embarrassed a bit.

Another time this happened when we were out with friends and he pointed out this woman with really short hair like a buzz cut. He said stuff like “I don’t care for females who wear their hair short. It doesn’t look right and she has on too much makeup.” And look I get people have preferences but the way he picked her apart made me uncomfortable. It was out of the blue and unnecessary. I stopped him and mentioned that I had once cut my hair years ago due to damage and how it made me feel when people treated me differently afterwards. He didn’t say anything but I could tell he’s saying those things from being hurt cause he doesn’t ever talk about men that way.

Also he’s never had a girlfriend before either so that’s also kinda telling by the immature comments. You can tell he’s insecure and not used to seeing real life women with body hair, cellulite, short hair etc. and part of it being linked to him being bullied in school. I’m not justifying his behavior but stating that it’s possibly the cause of his reaction? Should I talk to him more about it or let him go?

I think my guy friend is projecting, how should I approach him about it?
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