Search Results: how do you get over a break up

My friend called me this week saying that I say unnecessary things & those things take jabs at her. She's a "girl's girl" & some things sound like I'm competing
She gave me 2 examples out of many
1. She said someone was talking to us about shoes & I said I got them 1st (i specifically dont remember that moment, but I'll give it to her because people don't remember things unless it's attached to a filtering emotion)
2. She mentioned how her ex talked & hugged her & I said he does that with everybody
(That I explained as protection cuz they broken up twice & I've had my own breakup in which my ex liked me physically but didn't want to be with me
I know her ex is not extreme like that but I didn't want her to get her hopes up on something he does to everybody
She should look for other signs.) She still said I shouldn't say it like that
I could understand what she means however while we're in conversation I thought that phrase was precise & got my point across quickly & she never brought it up to me until now
How was I suppose to know she didn't like it & how am I suppose to hold a conversation & know which comments are unnecessary
In general conversations are unnecessary unless you need something from the other person (health/businesswise) Then she said she's upset that she keeps having to find out information from my ex in terms of my dad being sick or me being sick (my ex only knows because we still work together & when he ask wya, i tell him) but her schedule is random I don't know when she's sleep, on the road, etc so it's up to her. When I did reach out, it was at the wrong time, so I got tired of doing it. Also when I told her I was sick, specifically what I was going through, it felt like she forgot or didn't look up what's happening to me for herself. And when we went on outings/convos when my sickness played a role in our interaction, empathy wasn't present, so why tell her? Should I let her know or let it fade?

Long story short fighting with boyfriend over his 4-5 day disappearing hanging with other people and chicks, and then when I go anywhere even a gas station for 35 min to an hour hanging out with my friends he gets upset and wants me to break down my reasons well on day 4 I said I didn't want to continue the relationship with how much he takes off never tells me where he's going makes me worry and never replies to me. Never helps at home with the baby.. so I finally say point blank in black and white, WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP? he says he will move out, I'm a fucking bitch, he can't stand me, and he will come pack his stuff.
Later 6 hours later asks if he can come get clothes I say yes. He shows up to sleep and repeat the cycle of taking off once awake. NOW 4 days after finding out his intentions I've tried distancing myself, Detaching etc. And He sparks another argument with me which I say why does it matter that I cooked dinner with my family last night I deserve social interaction too besides just kids all day. He says it's not fair cause he doesn't get to go out. He will count me 1 hour with my family but his 5 to 8 hour hangout at the neighbors wasn't getting out. Then I blow up saying, Were not together so who gives a fuck and he's like oh now we're not together I'm like no we haven't been together since you told me your intentions. I used to love him so much but the controlling behavior only seems to be getting worse. To the point he tells our neighbors he was going to smack the fuck out of me. Like what man does that? If someone told you that they hate you and their intentions were to leave you, then, by all means why does he think we're now working it out? Yea I've been civil. Civilly waiting for him to get his shit and go. Then says he doesn't know what makes me think he didn't want to still be with me? Like I'm more into self love after this experience. I asked point blank his intentions yet I'm the bad person now.