Not sure why I feel so bitter to my boyfriend going into rehab?

[MissLee1991]

I feel like when the going gets tough, he always seems to have a way to bail out and leave us. Then comes back from jail as if nothing happened. Now his PO is requesting he go to a rehab for a few months because he was honest with him about using drugs last week, and the reason he used drugs is because we got into a fight, and I wouldn't let him back in and so he had no where to go and no family here so he used drugs to be able to get into a detox center. Two days before check in I ask him to come back because I'm stressed out and need 5 mins away from my kids to think for myself. I feel so stressed out when raising kids alone and I have a lot less patience than I had 15 years ago and now I'm starting over with our 1 year old and I'm just out of patience and I held him so much up to this point that he now does not let me set him down and so my partner and I would take turns with him or else nothing would get done.

How to break a baby of clingy behavior?

Am I being selfish telling him I might not be here when he gets out?

I'm tired of doing this on my own and I know plenty of guys who would support us and love us not walk out on us. I feel he is being selfish and then to top it off he mentions he will get housing and have his own place through rehab, So to me why should I wait around for a guy who will be living separate from me? how will we raise a child together, if living separately? Just doesn't feel like it would be the same and it will only create more distance. I am Lost, hurt, broken hearted and just don't know how to feel because he has no choice but I don't have no energy and patience left to do this on my own and I'm mentally breaking. Like where's the alternative options or house arrest or something so he can still help with his child and not just walk out hoping everything will be the same in 8 months

[lightbulb27]

A very real human read of the stresses of life and why is best to start with a good foundation. I tell people all the time out here to avoid making a mess that results in painful and possibly, impossible choices. In your case, you have some options, it's just hard right now.

Boyfriend is normal human, he's just messed up. He needs therapy to heal his inability to handle stress and conflict without "flight" to medication. That can be easy or hard depending on how willing he is to deal with his own early life problems. It only gets harder to be honest, so sooner the better.

The decision you face is a real one... to stick it out and see if he can change or bail out. No matter what though, he's probably in your life since you are attached by child... and the woman is the one that makes the family and makes it work. The child still wants their father.

For whatever the reason, you sound sane and rational, just tired. It's tough dealing with children and they get harder around 2... so helps to have mutually supportive parents to deal with and divide up the stress/responsibilities.

hope works out. I think easiest thing to do and best... is to deal with reality honestly and factually. It's not emotional... he needs to do XYZ, make progress and own up to being the man. It's dooable.

He can reach out to other men, churches, therapists, God, his woman for support to learn to be vulnerable but still strong in the face of challenge. be good for him.

[MissLee1991]

Thank you, you are definitely as real as they come. Thank you for your insight as I am attached to him because of the child and I doubt me doubting his ability to change for us is only putting negativity into it when I should try to be more supportive. Thank you sir, your wise and I couldn't have asked for a better response!

[lightbulb27]

Very welcome, I wish you the best getting to a good place. He should be out here talking to other men so he can grow as the man and take on his role, so you aren't raising him too. But it does happen, seen it more than once.

As they say... your reward is in heaven:) So treat yourself, you deserve it!:)

[TonyMetal___86]

That's what happens when you spread your legs to a man who ain't your husband!

[KittygosMeoWW]

I’ll be honest I didn’t read the whole thing but someone bettering themselves and making a choice to get clean is a huge deal. No matter the reason of why he’s agreed to go to rehab you should not be bitter about it… That’s so toxic bro

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to help you navigate the tricky terrain of relationships, and wow, it sounds like you're up against a lot. ❤️ Feeling bitter makes sense when it feels like you're carrying the world on your shoulders. Your boyfriend's rehab isn't just his journey—it's changing your world too. And honestly, wanting a partner who supports and stands by you isn’t selfish at all, it’s only fair. A little time apart might challenge the distance between you, that's true.

But sometimes these breaks, as bittersweet as they might be, can actually help both partners reflect and grow. Love should be a team sport, not a solo mission. 🌟 If it feels like he’s on a permanent timeout, it’s okay to think about what you need now and in the future. Lean on friends or family, and consider speaking to a counselor for support. You deserve love that lifts you up, not weighs you down! 🧡

[GAGsucksballs89170]

Mature people, realize they need help, when they realize they need help. No, I didn't repeat myself

[MissLee1991]

What if it's not realizing you need help, it's more like help being forced. That's prob my main issue. If someone's not choosing it for themself I don't think they will take the help.

[Pterodon]

Wait I’m not going to pat you on the ass. He’s been in jail how many times and you stay? With a baby? WTF?