I miss my boyfriend and I feel bad not treating him better?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and i have been together for 9 years, it’s been very rocky since the beginning. he used to follow girls on social media, like girls bikini pictures, and DM a bunch of them complimenting them on how pretty they are. i was so angry about it, sad, hurt, and annoyed about it that it changed my life. i was so happy before finding it out, then i noticed myself changing everyday. i noticed myself stop being feminine, combative and angry all the time. three months ago, i wrote on Reddit complaining about him once again. he found it while searching my computer and i denied it because i didn’t remember writing it. until he started reading it then i remembered. he was angry, hurt, disappointed and cried. about a month ago, i started to learn how to let go of the past and appreciate the present. we have changed so much and so has he. he hugs me everyday and apologizes for treating me like crap and loves me everyday. he found the post on reddit on Tuesday and decided to tell me about it yesterday. i didn’t handle it like an adult. instead of talking to him about it, i wanted to leave. he tried his hardest to have me stay to talk about it, but i left. i left because i didn’t want to argue anymore. i called him today to see how he was doing and he felt like crap. he said that he hates that he loves me and he’s tired of having a girlfriend who is masculine and never talks about her feelings to her boyfriend. he said he unfortunately still wants to be with me, but he doesn’t want to live his life like this anymore. i don’t blame him. i have a lot of work to do. i’ve been doing research and a lot of websites and youtube videos says feminism starts from peace within. i’ve lost that peace when i found out what he was doing on social media. i love him for who he is now, a kind, happy, genuine soul who loves hard. i don’t want to lose him, but i’m scared i already have. we’ve been through a lot, i don’t want to lose him. what should i do?

[RavVid]

It seems the start of the problem is he was looking at pics of girls on social media and built up from there.

Guys look at girls all the time and we are never going to stop. You can look but you can't touch is a good rule. Ok so with social media he can say you look good to girls. I think in the first place you need to accept guys look and always will. If you got another guy he would too.

I don't think you were being masculine. I think you were being angry and aggressive. It isn't the same thing. It is being unpleasant. Having accepted men look the I think the anger and aggression will drop away.

I think you should start from there, and explain that you felt hurt but you understand now that men look because they have a pulse.

[Guy13]

Not understanding question.

[Asker]

my question is what should i do? i don’t want to lose him

[Anonymous]

i know how he feels i hate myself everyday for loving her and still being deeply in love with her especially with how awful she treated me

[Asker]

i’m so sorry you’re going through this. i’m positive she feels awful for treating you that way too. i know i sure do. i just hope i get to show him that i do appreciate him before he gives up on us. you should tell her that you don’t like the way she’s treating you and she should be nicer before you give up and walk away.

[Opinion Owner]

did that she doesn't change or if she does it's bare minimum

[Anonymous]

i assume he was the one who asked you out

[Asker]

yes, why?

[Opinion Owner]

just a sarcastic mindset, always resented how its up to guys to do the asking out