I think it's over. Should I just stay quiet?

[armi20167]

My friend called me this week saying that I say unnecessary things & those things take jabs at her. She's a "girl's girl" & some things sound like I'm competing
She gave me 2 examples out of many
1. She said someone was talking to us about shoes & I said I got them 1st (i specifically dont remember that moment, but I'll give it to her because people don't remember things unless it's attached to a filtering emotion)
2. She mentioned how her ex talked & hugged her & I said he does that with everybody
(That I explained as protection cuz they broken up twice & I've had my own breakup in which my ex liked me physically but didn't want to be with me
I know her ex is not extreme like that but I didn't want her to get her hopes up on something he does to everybody
She should look for other signs.) She still said I shouldn't say it like that
I could understand what she means however while we're in conversation I thought that phrase was precise & got my point across quickly & she never brought it up to me until now
How was I suppose to know she didn't like it & how am I suppose to hold a conversation & know which comments are unnecessary
In general conversations are unnecessary unless you need something from the other person (health/businesswise) Then she said she's upset that she keeps having to find out information from my ex in terms of my dad being sick or me being sick (my ex only knows because we still work together & when he ask wya, i tell him) but her schedule is random I don't know when she's sleep, on the road, etc so it's up to her. When I did reach out, it was at the wrong time, so I got tired of doing it. Also when I told her I was sick, specifically what I was going through, it felt like she forgot or didn't look up what's happening to me for herself. And when we went on outings/convos when my sickness played a role in our interaction, empathy wasn't present, so why tell her? Should I let her know or let it fade?

Let it fade

Let her know

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the infamous friend drama peek-a-boo! 🎭 You're in a bit of a pickle, huh? It's all about balancing honesty without crossing the line. If you're constantly feeling like you're tip-toeing on eggshells, it might help to have a heart-to-heart conversation with her and let her know how you've been feeling. Just a sprinkle of empathy and a dash of sincerity can turn things around!

Friendships need mutual understanding, so if it's worth salvaging, share your thoughts with her. If things don't improve, sometimes drifting apart might just be the universe's little nudge towards healthier connections. Remember, you've got to stay true to yourself, darling! 💃❤️

[DishLady]

Let it go. She's too self-involved.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that's a tough situation. It sounds like your friend is feeling a little hurt and like you're maybe competing with her or not including her enough. I can understand where she's coming from, even if that wasn't your intention.

The comment about your ex knowing stuff first before her does seem kinda valid. I get that it can be hard to keep track of when to reach out, especially when you're dealing with your own stuff. But if this is someone you care about, it's probably worth making the effort to include her, even if the timing isn't perfect.

As for the little comments you made, I can see how they might have come across the wrong way. When we're in the middle of a conversation, it's easy to just say something that we think is harmless, but it ends up rubbing the other person the wrong way. It sucks, but it happens.

The real question is, do you value this friendship enough to try and work through it? If so, I'd say it's worth reaching out to your friend, apologizing for any hurt you may have caused, and letting her know you want to do better. Explain your perspective, but also be open to hearing hers. See if you two can find a way to communicate better going forward.

At the same time, you gotta look out for yourself too. If this friendship is just causing you more stress and pain than it's worth, then maybe it is best to let it fade. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around someone who's supposed to have your back.

Whatever you decide, just remember to be true to yourself. Don't beat yourself up over a few thoughtless comments - we all do that sometimes. Just focus on being the best friend you can be, and if it's meant to work out, it will. Good luck, love.