Search Results: comfortable in love

I wouldn’t mind living in the same apartment complex or house neighborhood, and just spending the night at eachothers place on occasion. I understand that its technically causing us to spend more money than necessary, but I really like my space and have no interest in shacking up. If we’re at least engaged, then I’m okay living together. But even if living together, I’d have joy in knowing that we have the option of separate bedrooms for when we want to sleep alone or have that extra space between us. It doesn’t mean I love the person any less. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy seeing them on occasion. I just don’t need them in my face every morning/night. Hearing my ex suggest rekindling and me moving up north with him just makes me cringe. Even back then I told him I’d rather just live near one another rather than together. And hearing my current think that I’d HAVE to live with him if I got knocked up is sweet, but not necessary. I’ll probably have mood swings while pregnant and he's probably better off at a distance. #FeelFreeToList

To expand on this, there is this idea that being a parent is very different from wanting a baby.

To want a baby is to want to have something adorable to take care of, something cute that looks like you, that you can dress up how you like, that's completely reliant on you to teach it what it needs. Wanting a baby is wanting something that looks like you that you can bond with on a one-sided basis as babies are not smart enough to comprehend what a bond is, only that you provide them with food and love and shelter and give them what they need when they need it. They are totally helpless and you are helping them happily and find reward in taking care of them, but once the child begins to show signs of their own autonomy that begins to change.

Being a parent means being ready to help a child discover who they are, build on their autonomy, support them and learn new things about this child as they discover these new things, guiding them towards the path that is right for them even if it's one you disagree with on some level (i. e. religious parents helping their queer child be more comfortable being out to them). Being a parent means understanding that you are sacrificing for the sake of someone else and not only willingly accepting that but embracing it because watching your child become an adult is rewarding, despite all of the time you spend losing sleep, losing money, and losing energy to help your baby grow into a child, then a teenager, then an adult.