While unmarried, would you feel more comfortable living with your current/future significant other or having your own place? Why?

Question

I wouldn’t mind living in the same apartment complex or house neighborhood, and just spending the night at eachothers place on occasion. I understand that its technically causing us to spend more money than necessary, but I really like my space and have no interest in shacking up. If we’re at least engaged, then I’m okay living together. But even if living together, I’d have joy in knowing that we have the option of separate bedrooms for when we want to sleep alone or have that extra space between us. It doesn’t mean I love the person any less. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy seeing them on occasion. I just don’t need them in my face every morning/night. Hearing my ex suggest rekindling and me moving up north with him just makes me cringe. Even back then I told him I’d rather just live near one another rather than together. And hearing my current think that I’d HAVE to live with him if I got knocked up is sweet, but not necessary. I’ll probably have mood swings while pregnant and he's probably better off at a distance.  #FeelFreeToList

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

I think it is imperative to be able to live together as a couple prior to engagement and marriage, because you will be able to see how you act together and if you can hack a married life or not. That is what my sister and brother in law did for five years before marrying and they just celebrated their fourth year of marriage last month.

My girlfriend and I will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary of being exclusive in two days and I know we have discussed living together a couple of times and the discussion we agreed on was that if we made it three years we would take that next step together when it comes time to renew a lease because it then becomes easier to split and be more cost beneficial. Plus, we each have saved money up and if it did go tits up we can survive on our own for a while, and our parents can help as a last resort.

Bottom line, if you can't live with them, you have no business marrying.

Also, unrelated, but like I said Dizzy. You really should block that ex completely.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I definitely would  not  rent a place together until we were married. That would entail buying furniture, redecorating, moving all our stuff into one place, sharing bills and expenses. No way I would take a chance on doing that with a girlfriend. There is nothing keeping boyfriends-girlfriends from breaking up at some point in the future, no matter how much in  LOVE  they are at the moment.  I would keep my own place and bring some clothes and necessities to her place and live with her. That way, I could keep all my stuff at my place and go back there to get things I needed. Or she could do the same thing and live with me. Or we could take turns living at each other's places.

EmmaMary · Accepted Answer

At the time my husband and I met (nearly eleven years ago) we both had our own homes.

After eighteen months or thereabouts we decided to move in together, with me renting out my house for an extra income.

A few years after that we took a huge gamble/risk in selling both our properties and investing it in a huge plot of land (approx 50 acres/20 hectares) and having a brand new build which my then future husband designed (he owns an architectural practice).

We then managed to sell off five individual plots, all with planning permission and very bespoke designs of five new builds all to the buyers requirements, and again all designed by my husband.

Thankfully the many sleepless nights we had worrying whether we had gone too far with this almighty risk has since paid substantial dividends!

But would we do it all again!!!

kylee2437 · Accepted Answer

Hmmmm if I am engaged with someone I want to be living with them, however if we are just in a relationship I feel like there’s a lot to lose when you choose long term ideas with someone that hasn’t showed you they want long term with you (engagement) . I think I’d prefer to live on my own

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Yes. I’d like to check the product before purchasing it permanently.

coachTanthony · Answer

I would always live with her but have my secret love shack downtown in the city lol

Pink2000 · Answer

I’ve always wanted my own place. I've never desired to live with any partner I’ve had. I love me time and I love being alone at times. If I’m mad I want to be able to leave his place and go to my own home and relax. I’m also very meticulous. This is an issue I’ve had in the past I like things to be a certain way and they aren’t gonna do things the way I want.

RavVid · Answer

Not wanting to marry is a recent decision (influenced by GAG incidentally). So no longer inclined to want to share.

In the past though I would have. It has always been we were sufficiently keen on each other to keep on visiting each other and more and more stuff kept on moving across till we were living together.

Apart from sex, I think there is a natural desire to sleep together. I certainly sleep better with a girl beside me even if there hasn't been sex that night. I can see opposite might be the case for some, especially if one snores.

I certainly wouldn't marry a girl if we didn't have a track record of compatibly choosing movies to watch every night. You could fake enjoying particular genres 2 or 3 nights a week but not be able to hack 7 days a week.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

I prefer living with my partner while not married.

It's not about trying to spend every minute with your partner, it's about not spending hours every week getting frustrated about out logistics to see each other, or on the boring side, getting stuck in a Thurs - Saturday sleepover routine.

Living together means you get the little moments, the caresses in the kitchen, hearing new music, and being the first person they can turn to at the end of the day.

electromagnetic · Answer

We live together and that’s because in this economy, 2 separate home is crippling. This way allows us to travel more, save more and basically utilize the washroom without feeling weird 🤣

I like your approach also but girl, I live in one of the most expensive cities based on inflation. Cannot afford the same apartment block.

lilyanony1 · Answer

Who I'm with now I would really like to move in with him, but he owns his place, I don't, he lives 45 mins away but it's tricky to get to my work from where he is for 8.30 every morning.
He lives with his sister, we both have dogs that haven't met yet...
I live alone but don't have a garden.
It's still too early.
If I didn't have my dog, and I didn't have the issues with renting/subletting I would live at his at least 2 days a week.

Simslover92 · Answer

I totally get wanting to have your own space but I think to really get to know the person, you must live with them. That's how you find out if you can be together long term. So I'm for living with my s/o but my boyfriend doesn't really want to right now but I feel it's the only way to see if we're truly compatible. I'm hoping he changes his mind sometime next year.

Fabiloso · Answer

I mean your separate living scenerio isn't horrible. I think it can keep a selfness intact for a lot of marriages. People tend to forget themselves and all. I'd just imagine it opening too many doors for cheating and such. But if their gonna cheat they'll do it either way so. But doing the cute things like climbing to their window or throwing pebbles at their window. Paper airplanes with notes n stuff. Like it could still be nice and connective.

Finchie40 · Answer

If I am engaged to her , I would want her to be by my side as much as possible , if she wanted to live separately, or in separate rooms , I probably wouldn’t marry her and realize I deserve someone that wants to be by my side as much as I want her by my side

Anastacia1989 · Answer

I don’t wanna move in with my boyfriend unless we get engaged just so that I know it’s a sure thing and that I’m not just being moved in for the sake of paying bills

loveslongnails · Answer

I would want to live with a woman first before I married her. There are too many little things that could amount to a major thing, or maybe there are major things that could be deal breakers which we didn't know about each other. I think it's a good idea.

Twalli · Answer

If I am marrying someone, I want to know what they are like on bad days. I love the good days (for better, in health), but without living together with them before marriage I won't expierence thr bad days (for worse, in sickness). I need to know I can deal with the latter before proposing.

CubsterShura · Answer

I wouldn't unless it's a very stable relationship and we've been dating for a while. But I'd still need separate bedrooms and my boyfriend agrees. We don't live together and are happy with our own places but we are open to moving in together.

iron_ninjs · Answer

Depends on what stage of the relationship we're in. But I think it would be good to live together with someone, before you get married. It would give you the chance to see what it's like, before getting married.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

engaged but been living with my partner for like nearly 9 years now. I think EVERY couple should cohabit BEFORE marriage. it's an eye opener.

provokeesmokee · Answer

I prefer to live with my partner, but have become more open to having separate but near places if that's something my partner requires.

kellytheman · Answer

Yeah I think might have to share a spot to make sure we don’t get on each other’s nerves that we start hating each other. Also I think it’s one of those steps that needs to be taken during to further a relationship.

smilelots · Answer

If it makes sense to live apart, that’s cool if it makes sense to live together before you married that’s fine too. I have done both but only married once.

TaureanBull81 · Answer

I'll never be getting married and would prefer an arrangement where a future partner and I live separately.

While unmarried, would you feel more comfortable living with your current/future significant other or having your own place? Why?

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